Jack Monroe #105 The slop thickens

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Blurp

I don't have heating (mice ate the plastic pipes under the floor and I can't afford the replacement) and I'm sad enough to make sure that the cats have a HWB in their basket in the kitchen in cold months - but a old-fashioned stone pig type that they can't burst .
 
Reactions: 42
V

vale

PoorPatrol said:
I think you’ve made a spelling mistake, that’s Potatoes™️ to you! It’s a scathing, ephemeral, polemical, peripatetic, unctuous work. Familiarise yourself with body of said work, pronto!
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You forgot “emotive”
 
Reactions: 18

Veronicaaa

I promise I'm not going to post and post and post about this but it's just gobsmacking, I will never get over it. I could not believe what I was reading when the penny dropped that she's not promoting a universal abstinence tool but a personalised cartoon? Honestly, words fail me.
 
Reactions: 61

kachoochoo

also, the sponsorbot appears to have a man bun, so should be arrested immediately.
 
Reactions: 43

Nottonightbabe

Because her twisted little brain doesn't think about damage that she may do, because she doesn't care. She doesn't give thought to others in that way, only ever focused on herself and her wants and needs.
 
Reactions: 35

Blurp

Happy birthday! May all your meals be edible and none of your drinks be served in a vase.

Gosh, he's so much better than her on screen
 
Reactions: 21

Ellabella

She wanted to "wait until..could do it justice". What does that mean? The relapse was perfectly orchestrated to entice Louisa BB back, so does she mean she's wheeling it out now that the cunning plan worked.
 
Reactions: 40

Smeghead

Ellabella said:
She wanted to "wait until..could do it justice". What does that mean? The relapse was perfectly orchestrated to entice Louisa BB back, so does she mean she's wheeling it out now that the cunning plan worked.
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The ridiculous thing is she DID mention it at the time!!!
 
Reactions: 34
B

BooBooPoohPooh

Eurgh said:
She needs it to walk around the supermarket being performatively poor.
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Ear worm to Pulp's Common People; his GF thinking going around the supermarket with no money is such a laugh. Jarvis cuts in with his 'but I don't see anyone else laughing'.
 
Reactions: 22

BeautifulTrauma

Her tweet about her shite sandwich got more likes than her heart rending post about a fucking picture and it’s effect on her sobriety (which is a lie as she mentions constantly about alcohol).

Even the guy who she credited seemed embarrassed. She just misses the mark. Every. Single. Time.
 
Reactions: 52

Oofadoofa

Its a weird thing, as ever she’s just over the moon that she got a shiny gift and can spin a story which places herself in the middle. One has to wonder though, the mysterious benefactor, how did they know that Monroe wanted this sponsor-bot thing, has she put the feelers out amongst wealthy acquaintances to see if she could find any takers, or has the art company done it on her behalf? Or has she commissioned it herself and telling yet another lie, or is there another possibility??
 
Reactions: 38

Tabitha D

I’m on a grunka so apologies if you’ve all moved on but someone mentioned how she is picking up words and phrases from these threads. It’s actually quite striking - “hair shirt” was another one, quite an unusual expression, used here and then she uses it a day or so later.
And as for the “Come to bed parmigiano” which she posted. It’s not a parmigiano for a start, cos that’s an oven-baked dish with aubergine, tomato and cheese, no pasta is involved.
And then she uses this sentence: “I found myself standing frozen in my kitchen, petrified, with a wooden spoon in my hand, wondering what to cook for her imminent arrival. I settled on this, and it has become eponymous, to me, with falling in love.”
She obviously doesn’t know what “eponymous” means as she’s used it wrongly. I think she must mean “synonymous”. And she has the nerve to call herself a writer!
Here’s some advice for you Jack, as we know you read here. BUY A FUCKING DICTIONARY, USE IT and stop embarrassing yourself.
 
Reactions: 65

Veronicaaa

Ellabella said:
She wanted to "wait until..could do it justice". What does that mean? The relapse was perfectly orchestrated to entice Louisa BB back, so does she mean she's wheeling it out now that the cunning plan worked.
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She was waiting to do justice to the #gift by making it all ~meaningful~. It's got absolutely fuck all to do with sobriety, her own or anyone else's. All she's doing is punting business to the smol cartoon people IT MAKES ME SICK.
 
Reactions: 35

Lanie

Montrachet said:
Knowing how much Jack loves a portmanteau - I think @Mycuppatea has described what the contents of her drawer are known as when at rest?
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Why does she need a calculator in the kitchen to work out the circumference of her bowls, to divide out how many portions a bowl of fresh slop yields?
 
Reactions: 19

veryfondoftea

Am I misunderstanding what this sponsor bot? Is it more than just a picture of an egg with legs? Or is that it? I don’t get it. It reminds me a bit of the Microsoft paper clip but a fat version and i can’t see how that would help someone to stop drinking?
 
Reactions: 41
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