Congratulations to @ScamSandwich for the words and @IGisntreal for the nomination! 72 reactions 
Mmmincemeat doughnut apiece for both of you.
Recap of thread #104
Mmmincemeat doughnut apiece for both of you.Recap of thread #104
- She feels less stressed out now sheâs not being rigid about spending exactly ÂŁ20 on Sundays (tired of that lark, amiright?).
- She doesnât watch Strictly but was âragingâ that Nicola Adams had to pull out. No need to go full metal Jack - it was to self isolate due to her dance partner testing positive for Covid.
- @colouredlines made a Jackellany Jacktionary Jackopedia, just in case you ever a spot a Jack out in the wild and need to identify exactly which type youâre dealing with.
- Jack says: âIâm a big fan of the accidental kisses on tweets and I donât care how basic it makes me look tbh x.â
- She promoted The Unwritten and asked them for a job, while also reminding them that she was in on the concept.
- She finally realised Dominic Cummings had left No. 10.
- She was contacted by someone re: some sausages, but to quote @Harrybosch, the account may be âless kosher than Jackâs sausagesâ.
- She put her cutting political commentary hat on and joked about Trump and Cummings.
- She counts herself among the Excluded.
- Wedge up Jack is popping to the shop again. Such kindness.
- Jack is the âkindest person on Twitterâ. âThankyou xxxâ. Oh, stop. No, you stop. Stop.
- She thinks Boris Johnsonâs brother is ok because heâs âimmaculately turned out and very politeâ. Heâs got such good values.
- More treats out of that pesky November food budget. They just âfell into the trolleyâ. This happens a lot to people on a strict budget.
- Sheâs taken it upon herself to be a Monster Munch martyr. She basked in the flattery.
- Such an environmentalist.
- Oh, pleeeaaase let her do a publishing quote?
- The cooking lessons with buddle continued, plus more sanctioned nitpicking. They were ~both~ in hysterics enough for her pick up her phone and film it, but she wonât post it because she doesnât want to ... identify her and she ... respects her privacy.
- Mince pie doughnuts gave her absolute GLEE. She was âhonestly unbearably pleased with herselfâ. No tit.
- She invented them, fam.
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[*]
For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon âs âJack for Dummiesâ post (edited to include updated info):
Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.
For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.
*** JACKISMS ***
Jackâs most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
Yes, absolutely x
Some other favourite Jack quotes:
âBabe, sameâ
âI did a chaosâ
âMy maverick brainâ
âMy sad little faceâ
âIâm BUSYâ
âI HOOTED / I am FIZZINGâ
âI laughed up a lungâ
**New**
âLiterally hella embarrassed AFâ about âBrexit and flip-flopping Covid flippancy my and she âdidnât even vote for itâ
She likes to describe herself as âpuppyishly honest and naively enthusiasticâ
One of Jackâs followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfrausâ˘ď¸. She also recently referred to us as âgossip mavensâ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **
To âGrunkaLunkaâ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).
Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so thatâs what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it wonât be the last. *
Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that itâs what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some âRIP Vivâ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putinâs bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to âhorse spunkâ - there may be some horse âspiritâ lasagne jokes.
Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: âThank you so Matt much, Mattâ, which made us all HOOT.
Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: âNow duck offâ. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to duck off, simply paying homage to Jackâs own genteel humour.
*Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail âSheâs Lyingâ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jackâs latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that sheâs lying.*
Also:
- She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
- She got a ÂŁ4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
- Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
- Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jackâs words: âShe [Louisa] leftâ.
- Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
- She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
- During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. âIt just does.â
- The information held on her by Companies House has her year of birth WRONG. She was born in 1988, not 1978.
- She recently claimed she found her Burberry scarf in a muddy puddle.
Here is a link to Jackâs Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering âTerrible!â on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil âs hilarious Glossary of Jack.
We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we donât discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
- Lastly, but importantly, when submitting ideas for the next thread title, please use the words âthread titleâ, as it makes it easier to search. Just using the number wonât be enough. We also canât have swears in the title, and try to hold off until around p. 40 for your suggestions, if possible. ThankYOU.
