Jack Monroe #105 The slop thickens

[Smeghead]

Who is this mysterious new Client? What could she possible offer and to whom?

Tune in same time tomorrow to find out in the ‘Amazing True Adventures of Jack Monroe (5ft 1.27 inches)’

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Who is this mysterious new Client? What could she possible offer and to whom?

It couldn’t be Marcus could it? Surely not.

 

[Walkdengirl]

17 quid mate

 

[CottageWitch]

Oh piffle, she’s been mentioned in the same timely nut roast article as THAT MAN.

Asda have come out with a vegan beef Wellington, saw it when I was last in. I am 10000% going to plump for that instead of this nut roast. I like my food to be edible, especially on a festive occasion!

 

[discokebab]

A hot water bottle has and always will be an essential for the maternal side of the Kebab family. It started from severe pov needs but now has become our folklore, through the realms of gas fires, agonising period pain (genetic, lets hope not), central heating and eco-minded refusal to turn the heating on. They are permanently attached to us for much of the year, I even recall a table full of them at Xmas one year.
Had to stop having the animal covers after my Dad left my bear-faced one on the electric hob at my grandmother's house and melted. Nanny actually had a drawer of spare HWB and covers which I should have utilised to avoid melt-bear.

You live, you learn.

 

[Walkdengirl]

View attachment 312642

kindling ?

Shoring up a table with a wonky leg
Standing on them to reach a high shelf
Origami
Turn them into papier mache pulp to make something useful

 

[Debarkle]

'so will be a bit quiet on here today.'

Forty-eight tweets before 5 p.m.

and none of them lockdown larder! So helpful she only needed to do it for two days.

 

[Walkdengirl]

No-one else in the universe has Autism and ADHD like Jack.

Despite being medicated for ADHD she still finds it impossible to function.

Please, please, give just five pounds a month to help this poor urchin to pay rent on her large bungalow by the sea.

£10 will go towards an Ocado top up food delivery.

£25 will enable this impoverished soul to put a deposit down on a new hammock after the last one rotted away due to being left outside in winter.

Please dig deep this winter, and give what you can.

I've just hooted at that

 

[BlendedSlop]

View attachment 312537View attachment 312539

I'm a bit late to the desk/calculator discussion, but my one question is why she appears to have some kind of anal bead sculpture on her desk?

 

[Flumps]

Has she deleted the tweet that says that her housemate bought it from TK Maxx ages ago, or am I just missing it? I was just thinking that that tweet kind of didn't make sense to me. The original tweet (in my opinion) made it sound like the vase/carafe was new, since she specified that her housemate bought it, who hasn't been there that long. So if she's had it for ages, why specify that her housemate bought it?

I sort of assumed this was a slip. That her housemate did buy it, but ages ago, in her previous incarnation as MrsJ.

But this is Jackworld logic

(Thanks @kachoochoo)

 

[Ladderedtights]

Smeghead, I honestly keep thinking your profile photo is a wee willy

It’s my birthday today and I’m trying not to be miserable about it. Birthdays just aren’t the same when you’re an adult! I did manage to make Mom’s sexy banana, chocolate and tahini pudding for later.

Good grief, can you imagine being on that Zoom call and watching Cack swig awkwardly from that stupid blue vase? It wouldn’t have been a subtle sip either. Bad Zoom manners!
A wooden calculator - because she’s quirky and a bit out there! Make sure you don’t puppishly chew it Jack!

 

[MooBelle]

Hello Coven, I'm only on last Thursday now so should joining you in the future shortly!

Just popping through time to ask @PoorPatrol about those supplements. Do you use them? Any good?
I'm allergic to fish so am interested in your view! (or any other Frau's view) xx

 

[HarderFaster]

Smeghead, I honestly keep thinking your profile photo is a wee willy

It’s my birthday today and I’m trying not to be miserable about it. No cards in the post. We’re a bit skint but I did manage to make Mom’s sexy banana, chocolate and tahini pudding for later.

Good grief, can you imagine being on that Zoom call and watching Cack swig awkwardly from that stupid blue vase? It wouldn’t have been a subtle sip either. Bad Zoom manners!
A wooden calculator - because she’s quirky and a bit out there! Make sure you don’t puppishly chew it Jack!

Happiest of birthdays, Frau! May your coming year be filled with joy and free of Jack Monroe recipes

 

[LyraBalaqua]

I'm 2 threads behind atm but have just seen the "toothache". Does she actually know what tootache is? As far as I'm aware, you don't get toothache from "chewing on your lip". Sure that would hurt but it's miles away from real toothache. Is she just being totally thick and overly dramatic? (It's Jack, of course she is. Why am I even questioning this?)

We have to start calling her Sicknote, there is always something ,albeit minor, wrong with her

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Smeghead, I honestly keep thinking your profile photo is a wee willy

It’s my birthday today and I’m trying not to be miserable about it. Birthdays just aren’t the same when you’re an adult! I did manage to make Mom’s sexy banana, chocolate and tahini pudding for later.

Good grief, can you imagine being on that Zoom call and watching Cack swig awkwardly from that stupid blue vase? It wouldn’t have been a subtle sip either. Bad Zoom manners!
A wooden calculator - because she’s quirky and a bit out there! Make sure you don’t puppishly chew it Jack!

Happy birthday @Ladderedtights.

 

[Aquamarina]

I'm a bit late to the desk/calculator discussion, but my one question is why she appears to have some kind of anal bead sculpture on her desk?

It’s part of her filming equipment, some kind of twisty tripod thing to hold the camera in. I know this as Mr A bought the same one for a friend who is a photographer.

ETA Happy Birthday @Ladderedtights x

 

[Smeghead]

Smeghead, I honestly keep thinking your profile photo is a wee willy

It’s my birthday today and I’m trying not to be miserable about it. Birthdays just aren’t the same when you’re an adult! I did manage to make Mom’s sexy banana, chocolate and tahini pudding for later.

Good grief, can you imagine being on that Zoom call and watching Cack swig awkwardly from that stupid blue vase? It wouldn’t have been a subtle sip either. Bad Zoom manners!
A wooden calculator - because she’s quirky and a bit out there! Make sure you don’t puppishly chew it Jack!

No not a wee willy, but a SEVERE ouchy swollen finger caused by a HUGE splinter that needed a trip to the pharmacy!! No birthdays are certainly not the same when you get older and even worse in Lockdown!! Hope you enjoy your delicious sounding pudding and have a lovely evening still. Big hugs.

 

[Captainmouse]

Hang on so is she now agreeing it is a carafe?

oh so not a specimen jar then?

 

[crystaleyesd]

Has she deleted the tweet that says that her housemate bought it from TK Maxx ages ago, or am I just missing it? I was just thinking that that tweet kind of didn't make sense to me. The original tweet (in my opinion) made it sound like the vase/carafe was new, since she specified that her housemate bought it, who hasn't been there that long. So if she's had it for ages, why specify that her housemate bought it?

Nah just more hinting that the housemate is Louisa and they used to be a FAMILY before SHE LEFT *sob* but couldn't they be that again and what JAPES could the two of them get up to with that carafe

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

I'm a bit late to the desk/calculator discussion, but my one question is why she appears to have some kind of anal bead sculpture on her desk?

I think they are called Gorilla stands..