Jack Monroe #103 Take her as she is or leave her be

[Fenella]

I'm still lightly seething at "severed abdominal muscles" in the comment about her son. What a ridiculous and potentially upsetting thing to say when he's, what, ten now?
C-section cuts, like all surgery cuts, are meticulously planned to ensure minimal long-term damage and proper healing.
Even in emergency situations you're going to get people who've dedicated their career to not messing up women's bodies.
They're always coming up with new ways to improve the experience/situation for mums.
Implying that her abs are flapping about in there like that bleeping fish toy she liked so much is disingenuous to say the least.

ETA this quote:
When a C-section is performed the fascia is cut horizontally, this is a layer of soft, flexible connective tissue that acts as a sheath over these muscles. Then the abdominal rectus muscles are separated from one another and moved to the side. These muscles are very rarely cut, and if they are they are usually put back together. According to Dr. Kent Snowden, within six weeks, the fascia usually claims back 90% of its original strength; within a year, it recovers fully. More or less, within a year of having a c-section, your body is back to normal

Although I have not had kids I have had my midsection sliced into a few times and, because I'm just a regular person I suppose, I used Bio Oil, did my physio and didn't blame anyone whilst my muscles healed up nicely.

while I’m not blaming my child for my situation, my stomach muscles are still fucked up from having my son 10 years ago (not c section). I haven’t bothered to go and see anyone but know I probably should but if I sit up from lying down I get a weird pointy tummy that I never had before.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

I like to microwave value tortilla chips with a a slice or two of orange cheese. If I am feeling particularly maverickish I might add some salsa

I read this as 'a slice or two of orange' and thought it was a JM recipe at first.

 

[Droosie123]

So a load of books commissioned.

Who the duck is commissioning these books? Are that many people buying them?

I have no idea how the book industry works but FFS who wants to read her crappy recipes and thoughts on poverty which she knows sod all about,

 

[Eurgh]

I like to microwave value tortilla chips with a a slice or two of orange cheese. If I am feeling particularly maverickish I might add some salsa

Do they go crispy or soft like pastry?

 

[Droosie123]

Oh and as a midwife who attended 100s of caesarean sections I can tell you categorically that her abdominal muscles were not sliced in two. FFS Jack, if you're going to exaggerate at least read a bit first to maintain accuracy.

 

[Fruitjack]

Aaaaand another thing. I have a dehydrator because I'm one of those vegans. I wouldn't be surprised if she had bought an Excalibur whilst in her vegan stage because there are some wonderful recipes out there and it's a popular thing in some vegan circles. They're expensive but I can definitely see it sitting under the sink now that grift is over.

I'm actually contemplating upgrading my life with a Ninja Foodi at Christmas, but I have to check if it'll allow me to part with the dehydrator I have because kale chips are an important part of my diet.

I inherited a huge Excalibur when my father in law died. I was really excited about it but it lived in the garage and I never really got into it. When I LEFT there was no room in my little house. I think it’s probably untouched in my ex’s garage.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I'm going to stop now but can you imagine the mortification of turning up for a Billy Bragg busking session and telling him that you wanted to sing the times they are a'changing by .... Tracy Chapman.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I like to microwave value tortilla chips with a a slice or two of orange cheese. If I am feeling particularly maverickish I might add some salsa

Ohhh not done that for a while...now all I can think of value tortilla chips are something else...value or Doritos. There is no inbetween.

 

[Boyo]

OK


View attachment 307334

And the euphemisms keep on coming!

 

[Pixieboots]

I fully admit I am a bit fragile atm due to pandemic, job stress, etc, but I just was suddenly struck with a feeling of real sadness for that squiggle who made her cheese sauce and felt sick afterwards

She doesn't GAF who she harms.

Me too, it's made me tear up a bit. I really hope they had something else to eat.

 

[Fraggle]

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Will these recommendations eat into her self imposed 20mins a day on Twitter?

 

[Begborrowsteal]

while I’m not blaming my child for my situation, my stomach muscles are still fucked up from having my son 10 years ago (not c section). I haven’t bothered to go and see anyone but know I probably should but if I sit up from lying down I get a weird pointy tummy that I never had before.

They can be helped, if ever you want to work on it. Happens to lots of women, its diastasis recti. Jacks exaggerating as usual. Cock.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

while I’m not blaming my child for my situation, my stomach muscles are still fucked up from having my son 10 years ago (not c section). I haven’t bothered to go and see anyone but know I probably should but if I sit up from lying down I get a weird pointy tummy that I never had before.

Likely Diastasis Recti, a good women's physio can really help with that

 

[Alansbigplate]

I'm going to stop now but can you imagine the mortification of turning up for a Billy Bragg busking session and telling him that you wanted to sing the times they are a'changing by .... Tracy Chapman.

 

[Cookiecookie]

So SB can’t have the nice cheese he has to have the smart price tasteless slice mushed in milk, presumably on two day old beetroot water pasta?

It's just awful isn't it? Going to sound a right wanker, but you should develop your child's palate beyond the stereotype of 'chicken nugget and chips' off the kids menu (although the poor lad isn't even fed those!) I know a lot of adults who've never grown out of that mentality, and they're almost scared to try anything different. Let him have a bit of fancy cheese you selfish, uncaring witch!

 

[Pixieboots]

Ohhh not done that for a while...now all I can think of value tortilla chips are something else...value or Doritos. There is no inbetween.

I'm pretty sure they sprinkle Asda Smartprice tortilla chips with crack or something. I go mad for them like SB on a cheese and pond slime sarnie.

 

[Noseynelly19]

I post a lot of stuff and some has gone missing but as I post via the post office I get proof of postage, so can claim up to £20. Surely with the amount that go missing from Jacks postings she would want a little bit of security as she has no proof she’s posted it via Royal Mail.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Do they go crispy or soft like pastry?

The bits the cheese touches go a bit soggy and cling together, so you end with a sort of tiny cheese toastie, the rest gets a bit crisperi. It only seems to work with the value tortilla chips.

 

[Cookiecookie]

It’s something that really really bothers me - she’s never taken him away. All her holidays have been documented (she’s never been on holiday though, obvs). They do not include her son. None of them.

She only ever goes on holiday with her latest shag piece. He'd get in the way. Hopefully his dad takes him though, because she definitely doesn't

 

[Fraggle]

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‘Yelled at’ ‘mail’. Yeehaw, Jack. Yeehaw.

She mentioned in the previous tweet not having a go at PO staff, but now she mentions the person having a go at her! Which lie are you sticking to Jack?