Jack Monroe #103 Take her as she is or leave her be

[MancBee]

Jack constantly refers to her work, but can anyone tell me what all this work is that she is doing?

If her job is an author and that is what she considers her work, why is she not concentrating on writing books? (as she says there are two on the go)

If her job is recipe creator and her work is creating recipes, why does she not just concentrate on making good trialled and tested recipes? She can then collate them and produce a well researched cookbook. Just like other cookery book writers.

If her job is a poverty activist and her work is with those attempting to effect change, where is her activism? What is she actually doing to make a change? There has been no evidence of activism for years.

If her job is a SM influencer, what work is she doing to promote this, whome is she influencing? She has been gifted various items, such as pizza oven and then failed to promote the item.

If her job is charitable assistance for the poor, what is she doing to enable this assistance, she is actually counter productive. Her insistence that £20 can feed two adults and a child for a week is harming those very people.

If her job is brand ambassador, she no longer does any work in that sphere, as that failed miserably. See the Helmans shit show for an example why that no longer takes up all her time.

If her job is TV cook.............well no need to go there.

Collecting things in a lever arch file that you are interested in is not work. Even if sometime in the future you fancy writing a book on whatever crap you've accumulated.

What exactly does she consider work? It is just a complete mystery to me.

Making meals to feed yourself, your child, and sometime live in "friend" is not work, no matter how weird those meals are that you prepare. Every one of you Fraus with children do that every day, in addition to your paid employment (making the meals, not the weird food creations!). Shopping at ASDA or the local greengrocers is not work. Not even if you take a picture of it for Twitter.

The food she feeds her family is made up of disgusting concoctions that she photographs and puts on Twitter. Then spends all day arguing (chatting shit innit?) with people about irrelevant rubbish like soap and reminiscing about stuff she is too young to remember. This is not work!

Sorry for the long post but she's beginning to get under my skin again and sorry for shouting, but

WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS WORK SHE IS DOING?

Sorry for swearing

 

[MancBee]

The message has been sent to Trussell Trust. I thought it best not to mention Jack by name. I pointed out that a person with close links to them is advocating a £20 shop for 2 adults and one child for a week. Gave them enough information for them to be sure of who I am referring to, but said that if they wanted me to be explicit I would do so.

I went into detail about my experiences of poverty and of my voluntary work with local charities. I also mentioned how this undermined the good work that they, and our, charities are doing to raise awareness. I asked them to use their Nationwide profile to publicly refute this and to investigate the dangerously low nutritional values of the meals that are being advocated.

I suggested they might not wish to name this person but that they could give out more general information that opposes and disputes this dangerous and misleading message. I also suggested they should distance themselves from someone advocating such alarming, unhealthy, and unsafe very low-calorie meals devoid of nutritional value.

I wrote a bit more, but that is the gist of it. I will let you know their response.

 

[Fruitjack]

FRAU!!!!!!!! A super interesting turn of events. I've been blocked on Twitter! I wasn't yesterday morning! Yesterday afternoon, someone I follow on Twitter asked why soap was trending. I replied that I thought it may be due to a well known grifter asking about soap. The person said 'ah yes, I think I know who you mean, would the soap serve 4?' and I said yes. Someone who follows us mutually said 'do they have a Patreon?' and I said 'yes, and a tip jar, and poor people are donating to it'. That was more or less it. No name mentioned, not even just first name, no tagging in. (I don't think this was breaking any Tattle rules?). There's a lot of work gone in to triangulating me from that.

So much for that lengthy post about not letting people get to you.

 

[Stickybeaker33]

 

[Scarletfever]

Omg the squiggles on fb

 

[Veronicaaa]

View attachment 307083

1st sentence: "Peel and roughly chop your garlic".
3rd sentence: "Peel the garlic cloves and add them whole."

 

[Scarletfever]

Off topic ( ) but look at what Kirsty Strickland has just tweeted:

 

[colouredlines]

Off topic ( ) but look at what Kirsty Strickland has just tweeted:

This is a great article. Really interesting, thanks!

Wright says that the signs of a scam are genuinely unique to each case, but there are some general tells. When someone is blogging about a legitimate illness, she notes — even in the most extreme cases — there are days of tedium: lying on the couch binge-watching Netflix or sitting on the porch, a weary face turned to the sun. “Constant drama is a big red flag,” she says. “[In legitimate illnesses,] every day is not this big dramatic roller coaster, where you have a bone marrow transplant one day and the next day your cousin dies in a car crash and the next day the dog runs away and the house burns down. With the scammers, every day is sweeps week.”

 

[Flumps]

Sigh. You realise that you *chose* to have a baby. He's not responsible.

 

[SoulRebel]

Oh look, Jack, Sir Matt recognising someone who is working with lower income families. The important word here is WORKING.

 

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @IGisntreal for the thread title! Your first? You get to eat a bowl of that giant red pasta with the bog of eternal stench sauce!

Recap of thread #102

1. She kept the splinter saga going.
2. However, she rallied her ‘puppybrain’, popped a plaster on, buttoned up her denim shirt and fulfilled her work opportunity with The Guardian.
3. Another photo of the injured finger.
4. Her scheduled recipes are still in operation, each one more unappetising and unhappy than the last.
5. She likes Pears soap cos it’s so environmentally friendly, more so than the stuff in plastic bottles. O-kay.
6. Soap chat. Soap, soap, soap, soap?
7. Don’t be telling her that her soap dispenser is plastic. Because you, my friend, are dead wrong.
8. She made some big red pasta filled with ... ‘chunky’ salad bag pesto.
9. Her greengrocers is for local people and she likes to shop locally.
10. Mushrooms as big as her face (mind your lip, Jack!)
11. Praise beans, the finger is healed!
12. She’s keeping to her budget. But don’t begrudge her those duck eggs. She loves eggs, she does.
13. She likes to forensically think of detailed backstories for all items of her meals and store cupboard items. She’s ‘not cheating’.
14. She barely drinks coffee apart from a very strong coffee every morning.
15. She hasn’t bought butter in forever.
16. She can’t have nice things and she’s exhausted.
17. A large group of anonymous bullies is on her case. Who could they be?
18. Someone gifted her some soap. Aw, that mirror!
19. Ah, nay matter, let’s talk about posh advent calendars and smells.
20. Spoiler: Jack for Dummies

    [*]
    For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):
    
    Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
    Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
    
    Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.
    
    For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.
    
    *** JACKISMS ***
    
    Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
    
    Yes, absolutely x
    
    Some other favourite Jack quotes:
    
    ‘Babe, same’
    
    ‘I did a chaos’
    
    ‘My maverick brain’
    
    ‘My sad little face’
    
    ‘I’m BUSY’
    
    ‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’
    
    ‘I laughed up a lung’
    
    One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **
    
    To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).
    
    Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last. *
    
    Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
    
    We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
    
    During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.
    
    Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.
    
    Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now fuck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to fuck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel humour.
    
    *Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail ‘She’s Lying’ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jack’s latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that she’s lying.*
    
    Also:
    

    • She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
    • She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
    • Her dad's a fucking LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
    • Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words: ‘She [Louisa] left’.
    • Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
    • She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
    • During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ‘It just does.’
    • The information held on her by Companies House has her year of birth WRONG. She was born in 1988, not 1978.

    
    Here is a link to Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ‘Terrible!’ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ‘s hilarious Glossary of Jack.
    
    We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
    
    

    • Lastly, but importantly, when submitting ideas for the next thread title, please use the words ‘thread title’, as it makes it easier to search. Just using the number won’t be enough. We also can’t have swears in the title, and try to hold off until around p. 40 for your suggestions, if possible. ThankYOU.

    [*]

 

[Alansbigplate]

 

[Emmapism]

Saw this this evening and thought of dearest Jackie

 

[xoxo]

Me neither, squiggle!

 

[Scarletfever]

Didn't this one have lunch with Jack at some point?

Yes! Nice one

Dinner with Jack Monroe: Marina O’Loughlin dines with the Tin Can Cook

The Friday before I go to lunch at Jack Monroe’s house, a furore broke out. Channel 4 had launched a show by a Big Name Chef, concentrating on limited funds and store-cupboard ingredients, with a tooth-achingly twee title. At the announcement, social media erupted. “It should” people bellowed, “have

www.thetimes.co.uk

"Stop saying all this bokeworthy infantalising drivel" would be a great thread title

 

[HarderFaster]

View attachment 307126

No, Jack, not one of us would like a job where we could work from home (even outside of a pandemic), be invited to spout our uninformed opinions on TV and radio, be excused by publishers, producers and fans alike for being an unprepared shitshow even with a decade of experience, be paid handsomely to write books on a topic we purport to love, claim burnout from having to go to the Post Office occasionally or list tweeting a load of bollocks as legitimate work. There are people up and down the country losing jobs and livelihoods, but sure Jack, nooooobody would want the weight of your blessed existence on their shoulders .

So many people would KILL for a job where they could do the school run every day, be around for their kid as they sit doing their homework, not have to be rinsed for a season ticket for the commute, and all to be paid so much you lived in a beautiful (RENTED) detached home full of designer furniture, clothes and cookware. So many more talented and hardworking people are denied this because they’re not the social-climbing, shameless grift that she is. Not only is she a vile liar, she’s also an ungrateful one.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

wasnt a joke though...she actually fed him this instead of the good shit

 

[lilamay]

Latest review on Good Food for Bad Days...

 

[xoxo]

Yes Kirsty!

This is the piece she's referring to: https://onezero.medium.com/i-watche...k-but-it-was-all-a-gofundme-scam-93e2e2eef7bc
The story is in a different league to Jack but there are definite parallels there.

 

[Pocahontas]

Guys! Have we ever listened to this podcast before? Skip the first 20 mins as the hosts just waffle on and on about boring crap but I'm 5 mins into Jack talking and she's already claimed to work 21 hours a day, mentioned that she looks ill and insulted the hosts by saying 'you look how I feel', complained about how stressful lockdown larder is and made a reference to paying the rent...

Adenoids sound REAL swollen

Ep224: Apocalypse Jellyfish | Featuring cook and author Jack Monroe - The Kitchen Is On Fire

Today on the damn TickyOff cook and author Jack Monroe is back. Jack reveals all about their hashtag #jackmonroeslockdownlarder and what’s been going on at Tin Can Cook HQ since the coronavirus lockdown began. It seems to involve twenty one hour work days, an undercut rapidly growing out of...

poddtoppen.se

What I could bear to listen to:

1. She doesn’t ignore anyone’s Lockdown Larder requests. (Chip shop chips ...)
2. She’d judge someone for asking about foie gras (stones and glass houses Miss Posh Cheese and Duck Eggs)
3. She doesn’t want anyone to eat jellyfish but if they eat the wrong type they can ‘sue someone if it all goes wrong’.
4. She was vegan ‘for quite some time’ but she is ‘fickle’ and people who have a problem with her not being vegan anymore are ‘pricks’.
5. She really enjoys reading the range of opinions that people have about her - something to do when she’s not working 21-hour days. She loves to read the wild and false conspiracy theories about her and ‘laugh horribly and hollowly’. Hahahahaha.
6. She’s eaten bollocks.
7. She misses the attention and ‘glowing articles’ in The Daily Mail.
8. If Twitter likes were money she’d be able to pay her rent.

I couldn’t get any further as I started to simultaneously dry heave, laugh, and cry hollowly and horribly.