Erm, excuse me, I don't need anyone to be judging anyone's jacking off.
Jack Monroe #101 The bubble bursts
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I 'think' Julie walters two soups has been done
but my search was rubbish
One day in the not so distant future Vlad will invite us for providing him with endless laughs and serve us Fabergé eggs and Eggs with proper caviar and not Anchoiiiiiade or any other evil form.
I can't believe that she sees herself as a workaholic. It completely baffles me. JM can you put it in a tweet please? I know you answer here on Twitter - what do you do all day?!?
Possibly....I’m on a permanent trunk as I only joined recently! But a face transplant two soups? I mean that would be worth posting again! Edit - Grunk! Stupid autocarrotI 'think' Julie walters two soups has been done
On the next thread, we need to have a poll to choose Jack's least appetising recipe. I think the sausagne may actually win it!
Chicken porridge. Sorry @ChickenPorridge
"Jacking Off"!? "Cum cookery"!? Dear God it's the horsey sauce all over again
Louisa was out all morning on a bike ride (should make your Strava private L), do you think she called for a bag of chips on her way back?
Oh god - I just looked at the ‘sausagne’ ‘recipe’. I can’t believe she really had the nerve to type that out. Sausages (in raw), tinned tomatoes, dried pasta sheets and cheese. That’s it. 
I have no clue about Strava.
Does it track your physical position or whether your heart rate has hit the point of justifiable homicide?
I can’t even bring myself to let my eyes focus on the photo. I have to skim over it everytime it pops up. It looks awful!Oh god - I just looked at the ‘sausagne’ ‘recipe’. I can’t believe she really had the nerve to type that out. Sausages (in raw), tinned tomatoes, dried pasta sheets and cheese. That’s it.
It would be, yeah. It actually takes a lot more time than people think to plan and write all your social media posts and schedule them. Then you have to evaluate how successful it's been and report that back in some way to your bosses.
Where I worked, I answered customer questions on social media
so I'd have to go through all the posts tagging us to see which ones needed a response, and then either reply or get in touch with the relevant team to find out what I should say to the customer. And we had about a quarter as many Twitter followers as JM does. I am NOT saying that social media is a full time job for Jack, it's not difficult at all when you just tweet every thought that comes into your head, and ignore the majority of your followers. But done properly for a large organisation it is usually a full time job.
I've just grunka'd #26 and #27 sideboards photoshoots. That was one ugly dress.
@colouredlines you deserve a Brit Award for that ditty. Crying laughing!
@colouredlines you deserve a Brit Award for that ditty. Crying laughing!
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this is that guy I called creepy earlier. Now I'm trying to figure out if he's actually taking the piss...
Her cookery style is either absolute bare minimum ingredients and flavour, or throw the entire contents of the herb cupboard and fridge in a pan. There’s no in-between.Oh god - I just looked at the ‘sausagne’ ‘recipe’. I can’t believe she really had the nerve to type that out. Sausages (in raw), tinned tomatoes, dried pasta sheets and cheese. That’s it.
Bloody hell, the squiggles..."I have got x in my cupboard. I don't like x. What can I cook with x??" Fuckin' 'ell, if you don't like it, give it away to someone who really likes it or needs it! I always do it, since I do not throw away food. Buying 5 other ingredients to use up sth horrible will not make it better! And the using up thing is the same...Using up means that I eat...boiled potatoes up like they are? How do people end up with a trillion kilo of whatever that they have to go on the internet for??
Would be funny if Louisa actually puts on weight with all these cycling trips... McDonalds’s wrappers stuffed into the lining of her coat, Five Guys milkshakes flung into her bag, a steak sandwich being harboured in her helmet...wiping her greasy mouth on the ginger cat who watches her approvingly...
“Mhmmm, yes I can’t wait to slice some yellow sticker carrots really really small and roll them in mushroom dust.”
Is Jack going to do a political forensic post-mortem for us mere mortals?
“Mhmmm, yes I can’t wait to slice some yellow sticker carrots really really small and roll them in mushroom dust.”
Is Jack going to do a political forensic post-mortem for us mere mortals?
I would v much like the irony if the forensic Frauen and Herren coven would one day track someone down to defend JM. Because we don't like creepsters!!!
I am laughing like crazy...hahahaha...
Not to mention smuggling the Sausagne OUT in the helmet in the first place.
Why do they buy shite they don't like?
I hate smashing my finger with a hammer, so do you know what I do?
I DON'T smash myself in the fingers with a bleeping hammer!
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