Jack Monroe #101 The bubble bursts

[Ladderedtights]

Ha! I never thought of her smuggling food out, mushroom dust down her cycling shorts?

 

[BashmentLady]

A direct quote from that recipe:

I am unashamed to admit I have used cheese singles (American burger cheese) to top lasagne in the past, and you could do that too!

Amazed, but not shocked, to see she can make this even worse.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Ha! I never thought of her smuggling food out, mushroom dust down her cycling shorts?

With holes in the pockets like 'The Great Escape!'

 

[KebabGirl]

I have no clue about Strava.
Does it track your physical position or whether your heart rate has hit the point of justifiable homicide?

Both! Largely for mapping the route - with speed, elevation changes, heart rate, cadence depending on what is feeding it. I use my smart watch, think she does too, so heart rate appears.

After all the talk of hot and sour soup today I confess to getting a Chinese takeaway - £2 for the soup but as hers isn't costed I can't compare. Oh wait, cost and value are different, Jack!

 

[xoxo]

After all the talk of hot and sour soup today I confess to getting a Chinese takeaway - £2 for the soup but as hers isn't costed I can't calluses compare. Oh wait, cost and value are different, Jack!

You just reminded me of that phrase "knows the price of everything and the value of nothing"

Except she's crap at calculating the price AND the value of everything.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

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That squiggle's soup looks like it came from B&Q, Love it when I could theoretically paint my RENTED flat with my dinner.

If I'd been asked to stay with someone who'd written several cookbooks and had done cooking segments on national television but then served me up pasta, lentils, kale and lemon sauce with lettuce folded in (how do you even fold in lettuce?) for dinner on the third day of lockdown I'd be positively murderous.

 

[Mycuppatea]

Bloody hell, the squiggles..."I have got x in my cupboard. I don't like x. What can I cook with x??" Fuckin' 'ell, if you don't like it, give it away to someone who really likes it or needs it! I always do it, since I do not throw away food. Buying 5 other ingredients to use up sth horrible will not make it better! And the using up thing is the same...Using up means that I eat...boiled potatoes up like they are? How do people end up with a trillion kilo of whatever that they have to go on the internet for??

Or when they ask things like "I've got milk, can I use it as milk?" Or "I have a selection of various vegetables plus canned tomatoes and beans, coconut milk and rice. Whatever can i make?" Are they eleven year olds left at home alone?

 

[Scarletfever]

That squiggle's soup looks like it came from B&Q, Love it when I could theoretically paint my RENTED flat with my dinner.

If I'd been asked to stay with someone who'd written several cookbooks and had done cooking segments on national television but then served me up pasta, lentils, kale and lemon sauce with lettuce folded in (how do you even fold in lettuce?) for dinner on the third day of lockdown I'd be positively murderous.

You blend the lettuce, obviously!

 

[Alansbigplate]

You know what you must do Alan
My gif game is weak
There are many “two soups?” Gifs out there....

Sadly not on the face swap app

 

[Silver Linings]

And on insta -

 

[Alansbigplate]

Tell a lie, it was there but doesn’t let me make Julie Walters into Jack only the customers ETA the man has gone cursed

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

View attachment 303017
And on insta -View attachment 303018

But she doesn't only have fish and eggs!! The coffee with the gone off milk was recent wasn't it? And that cheapo chicken she had in Edinburgh. SHE'S gaslighting US.

 

[Emmapism]

People weren't using it to bash people in need of free meals. That's a lie. They were pointing out your hypocrisy.

 

[Candytuft]

She has three fridges at last count.
I am exhausted with it all. The begging won’t stop and the inventive scamming will remain as lucrative as ever. Two incomes and the sidelines make Jackotwoslop a very rich girl.
As for L if she is back, Jacko must be amazing in bed.
Those mucky nails mustn’t be an issue. Or eggy farts and fishy burps.
Yuck.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I'll be very interested to see if she documents the £20 shop this week and what lies she comes off with in relation to that. £20 shop for financial reasons while shacked up with the head of C4 news. Remember when her 'bubble friend" left her those massive grapes from their shop (Ocado delivery) last week because they "couldn't carry it all home"? Now why would they need to be carrying a shop home when they were about to move in with Jack. She really can't or just doesn't bother keeping up with her own bull tit

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Erm, excuse me, I don't need anyone to be judging anyone's jacking off.

View attachment 302927

Jackoff hahahahahaha they’re deadly serious too I fear.

 

[Blurp]

Shall we organise a whip round & Uber eats her a veggie burger?

And, as Jack is so afraid of stalkers that she's made her RENTED house obvious from her social media, we actually have the address.....

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

And, as Jack is so afraid of stalkers that she's made her RENTED house obvious from her social media, we actually have the address.....

It would be a difficult one to mine for outrage among her squiggles.
"You'll never guess what this bunch of stalking, family threatening, abusive bullies have done?
They've only sent me food from a local business. The Monstrosity is too much.
I will have to return to comic mode for my own safety..
PS.. Send money."

 

[Pixieboots]

- casserole
- ribollita
- dal
- curry
- puttanesca

Excuse the early thread title suggestion but Jack Monroe #102 Synonyms for Slop

 

[JuliaGulia]

But she doesn't only have fish and eggs!! The coffee with the gone off milk was recent wasn't it? And that cheapo chicken she had in Edinburgh. SHE'S gaslighting US.

She's gaslighting everyone...