Jack Monroe #100 Jack Monroe and The Jimmy Nail Experience - she’s still lying

[Falkor]

Correct! I have posted Hula hoops and wotsits to Australia and can confirm this!

Did they get through customs? I know they're really strict about food - my mother-in-law used to send a box of chocolates to her sister in Australia every year for Christmas and every year without fail her sister would let her know that she had a letter from customs saying they weren't permitted and had been destroyed. We finally persuaded mother-in-law that something else might be a good idea, found a nice scarf for her to send instead. Come January, letter from customs, parcel destroyed. Questioned mother-in-law. 'Oh, I popped a few chocolates in there as well, surely they wouldn't have objected to just a few?' *head->desk*

Proud to be a thread 1 frau

 

[HotesTilaire]

I knew he reminded me of someone and it’s clicked today that it’s Jack. It’s like one of those horror films where you can see everything that’s going on but nobody will listen to you! That is exactly what him and Jack are like.

It is the way of those with NPD.

 

[MooBelle]

oh ffs @Alansbigplate you have surpassed yourself...
My manager hates her as much as i do and we often quote the 'help me I'm poor' from Brudesmaids.
Well done sir, well done indeed for merging the 2....(trying to work out how to share it with my boss who isn't on here...)

 

[CottageWitch]

From her latest auto tweeted recipe, for minestrone soup.

View attachment 300282

THIS. IS. NOT. HOW. YOU. COOK. VEGETABLES.

God I'm giving myself an aneurism on the bus just reading that. Also happy 100!! I skipped probably the last 47 pages of 99 just to get here in a timely manner but as I'm still on thread 14 in my catchup I reckon that's quite good for me

 

[Superdude]

hot iceberg lettuce . For the love of god just finish it in a salad or a sandwich or a burger and then don't buy any more bleeping iceberg lettuce! thank god i'm just about to go for a run to clear my head of these evils

THIS. Just stop buying iceberg lettuce, it's not exactly a store cupboard item!

 

[Alansbigplate]

oh ffs @Alansbigplate you have surpassed yourself...
My manager hates her as much as i do and we often quote the 'help me I'm poor' from Brudesmaids.
Well done sir, well done indeed for merging the 2....(trying to work out how to share it with my boss who isn't on here...)

Press down on it, you may be able to save/share it

 

[maytoseptember]

Having watched the leftover larders (did I mention?) I couldn't stop thinking what a child she is - the way she talks/ behaves/ listens. All so childish and then I thought what role must her older girlfriends play in her life...slightly creeped out tbh

Yeah, I’ve long thought she has mummy issues, what with having to share her parents with so many foster kids over the years. It’s one of those things I think about a lot and never post about because everyone hates an armchair psychologist wanker.

Problem is, I really love being an armchair psychologist wanker.

 

[SoulRebel]

Not monster munch but I do crush cheese & onion crisps over the kids pasta as a lunch treat
They love it in my defence

I like smashed plain crisps on chilli con carne. Don't hate me.

 

[ScamSandwich]

Not one original thought in her head.

Also she one to talk about manners I think she got hers from copies of the Beano. Petal when people say your food looks gross they are not being rude they are giving you their opinion.

Seen a David walliam book in whs Smith's, Waterstones and my local book shops window. Tempted to get it for my nephew for Xmas. It looks quite good! Didn't see any cooking books though?! Shame!

My forensic analysis of people like her has shown that they are the first ones to be upset about other people's 'bad' manners when they are at the receiving end aka they are simply being called out for their own bad behaviour. They don't care when someone else is treated badly unless they end up looking good cos they defended them. They are the living double standards. The never apologise only find reasons for their crap ways.

 

[Montrachet]

In less than 24 hours she’s hand written a weird covid manifesto, pretended to bum tweet, changed her Twitter name, had her cash cow missus move back in, and gone on a manic postage spending spree?
Southend police’s only chance at stopping us is to lock her up

My own theory is that her apparent mania recently is due to a combination of the latest news from Denmark unsettling Peeky_Mink .....

Denmark to cull up to 17 million mink amid coronavirus fears

Cases of a mutated strain of Covid-19 have been detected that may undermine future vaccines.

www.bbc.co.uk

..... plus the disappointment at losing one of her most prized titles to a boy 9 years younger.

The World Puddle Jumping Championships won by three-year-old

The annual World Puddle Jumping Championships has announced its winner, Theo, a three-year-old from Wales.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Now she’s back with Louisa we may have a hope of seeing her on TV again! It’s the lockdown two we deserve

 

[Gnomic Gnome]

Hello Frau und Herr! Short-time lurker here (apart from one TOO SHORT post). Grunking my way through this thread but I wanted to say thank you for the hoots I’ve had at your collective rapier wit!

I found the coven because a blogger I like expressed a concern about snarking. Blogger in question hadn’t actually visited Tattle as they were too nervous. Which drove me straight here as I am sick of the grifting and shilling fuckwittery of influencers. If you monetise your life, expect attendant scrutiny IMO.

The Jack threads caught my eye, and I’ve been lurking since no. 78. I remember reading her first columns in the Grauniad. I’ve always detested her and found her a cosplay bleep. Poverty my fanny. She’s also highly derivative, a sub-Nigella. Her writing is like bad fan fiction. Fifty shades of beige indeed! She’s also as thick as (90% vegan mince and needs a good scrub.

I nearly succumbed to one of her recipes at the start of lockdown as it was on a Hush newsletter and I was feeling all ‘Blitz spirit in poncey pyjamas’. It was the peach and chickpea curry... it never got made as I actually read the bleeping recipe before committing opener to tin. Thank god. My drains wouldn’t be able to cope with it.

It’s so sad to see how many people she’s taken in. And how she doesn’t care. I’m certain she has a PD (EUPD) but she’s still a vile piece of work even if she has. Keep up the good work as her day will come!

edited for typos!

 

[kachoochoo]

@kachoochoo that book sounds right up my street! Do you recommend?

I do! too short! yes!

 

[emmer_moans]

I was half right...

Yes I was right about some of her tweets being intense and her enjoying the attention, but woefully wrong regarding being onto a good thing with the food books.

 

[colouredlines]

On a mad grunk due to long work hours but one thing jumped out at me:

She needed to performatively handwrite the covid rules because autism means she can't handle "word salad".

Has she ever read her own recipes?!

 

[Boyo]

Yeah, a package turned up today. Apparently it’s something I’ve been paying a monthly fee for? I should stop it but I’m on a massive sugar high from the Lion Bars. I’ll just leave it for now.

 

[maytoseptember]

Hello Frau und Herr! Short-time lurker here (apart from one TOO SHORT post). Grunking my way through this thread but I wanted to say thank you for the hoots I’ve had at you collective rapier wit!

I found the coven because a blogger I like expressed a concern about snarking. Blogger in question hadn’t actually visited Tattle as they were too nervous. Which drove me straight here as I am sick of the grifting and shilling fuckwittery of influencers. If you monetise your life, expect attendant scrutiny IMO.

The Jack threads caught my eye, and I’ve been lurking since no. 78. I remember reading her first columns in the Grauniad. I’ve always detested her and found her a cosplay bleep. Poverty my fanny. She’s also highly derivative, a sub-Nigella. Her writing is like bad fan fiction. Fifty shades of beige indeed! She’s also as thick as (90% veganmince and needs a good scrub.

I nearly succumbed to one of her recipes at the start of lockdown as it was on a Hush newsletter and I was feeling all ‘Blitz spirit in poncey pyjamas’. It was the peach and chickpea curry... it never got made as I actually read the bleeping recipe before committing opener to tin. Thank god. My drains wouldn’t be able to cope with it.

It’s so sad to see how many people she’s taken in. And how she doesn’t care. I’m certain she has a PD (EUPD) but she’s still a vile piece of work even if she has. Keep up the good work as her day will come!

I don’t know which of your phrases I love the most:

1. Grifting and shilling fuckwittery
2. Cosplay bleep; poverty my fanny
3. Thick as 90% vegan mince
4. Blitz spirit in poncey pyjamas (I went through a Hush pyjama phase myself in the late 00s )

Bravo!

 

[blurstoftimes]

View attachment 300734
Yeah, a package turned up today. Apparently it’s something I’ve been paying a monthly fee for? I should stop it but I’m on a massive sugar high from the Lion Bars. I’ll just leave it for now.

This Alan pic is Jack when her followers start to enquire where their lion bars are

 

[Universal]

I don’t know which of your phrases I love the most:

1. Grifting and shilling fuckwittery
2. Cosplay bleep; poverty my fanny
3. Thick as 90% vegan mince
4. Blitz spirit in poncey pyjamas (I went through a Hush pyjama phase myself in the late 00s )

Bravo!

Can I request permission to use 'Poverty my Fanny' in regular conversation?

This quote and reply I love equally Fraus.

 

[BlendedSlop]

I'm actually raging that she's sending chocolate to strangers for Twitter clout when two weeks ago she had the begging bowl out. Surely she'd have known she had a "royalty cheque" coming in? Also not quite sure popping to the shop to buy Monster Munch and Lion Bars for your Twitter followers can reasonably be classed as "essential" in lockdown...

It really makes me feel glad for my stressful, full time job when I see her raking in more than my monthly wage through Patreon for doing precisely duck all.