Jack Monroe #100 Jack Monroe and The Jimmy Nail Experience - she’s still lying

[Cuileann]

]


This recipe was originally written as an ode to *a* Mrs J, of course. Poor non-affluent Mrs J...Allegra and Louisa got come-to-bed pastas along with wine and Peggy Fitzgerald, she gets oats and water flung in a microwave View attachment 301229

Ugh she's one of those people who's together with someone for, like, two weeks before she starts rearranging their entire lives to the way *she* thinks they ought to do things, isn't she?

Can’t say that was the first thing on my mind with my first pay check! I think food was top of my list

My first real adult job pay was straight on food and rent. My first teenage job pay was almost certainly splurged on mediocre hot chocolate from somewhere like Costa. Why is she so bleeping weird?

This made me unutterably furious last night, posting it here because I see Jack's faved it, so it's on topic. Like Jack, there's nothing Vonny won't make about *her*. My dog has been a total mess for the last month or so, ever since the fireworks round my way started happening (and I'm not saying BAN FIREWORK NIGHT or anything but can we please have it for just one night or even one weekend so that I can plan for it? Or use the silent fireworks?). One of my neighbours' dogs died a couple of years ago after some teenagers let off fireworks in the middle of the day in a dogpark - the dog bolted and got run over. My dog has an extremely traumatic reaction to them so last night was not fun (they do seem louder this year and they were coming from all directions). But as you all say, I can plan ahead for that. What I *can't* plan for however is when I specifically take the dog out for his last walk at 2.30pm (which I did yesterday), hoping to avoid any fireworks induced drama, only to have them start going off at 3pm, leading to my dog dragging me off in a panic (amazed we managed to avoid getting run over) before eventually refusing to move from a specific spot where he felt safe (on an embankment under a tree). Some lovely passersby tried to help but nothing worked and after an hour or so I had to get my mum to come and pick us up and drive us home. ANWAY rant over except to say I am braced for more of the same this weekend because fireworks night isn't just one night, people with autism (Vonny isn't even autistic BTW) can plan ahead as you all say, and they KNOW and UNDERSTAND what is going one, whereas to dogs, cats, foxes etc it must be like being in a war zone with no idea they're not in any danger. Phew, had to get that off my chest!

View attachment 301256

Oh your poor dog I hope he's recovered okay this morning.

I think despite what Vonny is saying, there is actually a lot of compassion and care for people (with autism or otherwise) who can't cope with loud bangs? And as you say, it's understood and even in circumstances where it isn't, there are ways to mitigate the impact. I used to work (yeeeears ago) with a 6 year old with autism who had a lot of sensory problems and found fireworks really hard. His mum had ear defenders, a weighted blanket and a bunch of his favourite food, books and toys for fireworks night/NYE. Not saying fireworks will ever be his ideal evening, but as he got older he started actively becoming involved with planning how to distract himself. Same went for thunder storms. Animals are very different to humans, Vonny. Give people credit.

Sorry, mega post. I'm procrastinating.

 

[Pocahontas]

I thought she didn’t have a cat flap so how did he magically appear?

Eggsactly.
Unless he’s Southend’s Magic Astral Projecting Cat. She’ll make a few bob then.

 

[emmer_moans]

On my local Facebook page a couple of people posted about dogs that had bolted due to the fireworks and understandably the posts were getting a lot of attention. Methinks Jack saw similar posts and thought I'll have a bit of that. My bet is Cooper was behind the sofa, at most. Allegedly m'lud.

Edit: wouldn't he be damp if out all night?! Fur absorbs water and dew. It's been foggy round my parts and I expect quite damp down South. He looks dry as a bone!

 

[Mustard]

Eggsactly.
Unless he’s Southend’s Magic Astral Projecting Cat. She’ll make a few bob then.

I remember seeing her complaining about having to let him in and out. Anyone have receipts?

 

[Cuileann]

View attachment 301354View attachment 301356

But she's not a firefighter?

 

[Grizzlybear]

My first pay check went on a pair of top shop pleather sock type knee boots which were FIFTY QUID and I was 16 and felt like I was literally a sassy independent high falutin lady of the world, and couldn’t get over earning enough money to actually just walk into a shop and drop that kind of cash without asking anybody

 

[Cuileann]

I appreciate that she blatantly made the whole Cooper thing up () but I'm so relieved that cat is okay. Poor chap puts up with all her tit. She's like that one terrible housemate who is always doing a drama whilst the rest go "there there" and inwardly roll their eyes.

 

[Fraggle]

I bet Cooper never left the house last night & found a safe hiding place away from fireworks & Jack.

 

[Cuileann]

Meanwhile Squig's cat has *actually* been missing. Jack is such a piss take. So insensitive. I hope Claude comes home too

 

[Eurgh]

First ever pay cheque from my Saturday job went on a white parka with a huge fluffy hood. I spent like 3 hours a day on the tube back then and it was irredeemably filthy in about a week. My mum told me to take it straight back when I got it but I wouldn’t be told. I’ve never bought a white coat since though so lesson learned I guess....

 

[Grizzlybear]

First ever pay cheque from my Saturday job went on a white parka with a huge fluffy hood. I spent like 3 hours a day on the tube back then and it was irredeemably filthy in about a week. My mum told me to take it straight back but I wouldn’t be told. I’ve never bought a white coat since though so lesson learned I guess....

That’s the beauty though! You learned! I had those boots til I was about 23. Although they were v sweaty and plasticky. My mum also told me but I learned

 

[kirkvanhouten]

Hope you’re all doing amok. Apologies I have no been as around as I would like but I have been keeping up to date.

The lockdown hashtag once again is poorly timed (and poorly executed). She waited too long first time around and everyone had pretty much sorted themselves out. This time she’s is too early and missed the mood completely. People are still working, not everyone is at home, food isn’t scarce. Although maybe she could hit the toilet roll market through sales of her book.

Anyway. Just wanted to stick my neb back in for the big 100, even if nobody really knows who I am

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

My first pay check went on a pair of top shop pleather sock type knee boots which were FIFTY QUID and I was 16 and felt like I was literally a sassy independent high falutin lady of the world, and couldn’t get over earning enough money to actually just walk into a shop and drop that kind of cash without asking anybody

Omg your description of those boots is perfect, and how it felt so accurate! I bought a red check scarf from topshop & some nu rave (MySpace era) neon acrylic earrings, and the prison break season 1 DVD from HMV! I still have the scarf upstairs, obvs don’t wear it it’s as tatty as those shrouds they claim Jesus was wrapped in that do the rounds every few years And @LavaFlake miss selfridge similar to grizzly I bought a pleather jacket from there and felt

Surely absolutely no one else in the world thought of WEDGEWOOD at that age?! We’re playing a dangerous candyman game here tho fraus we’ll hear about how she binged jellied eels and bought a live laugh love sign from home bargains next as she remembers she’s meant to be in character

 

[Montrachet]

But she's not a firefighter?

She has major 'Backdraft' issues ..... and it is not just the Devilled Eggs. I wonder if @Alansbigplate might indulge us in a little JM/JO Friday Fun Facetune?

 

[Mustard]

I can see buying a vintage Wedgewood cup and saucer, from a charity shop, as that is what I would do, but not a new one. She seems to like mostly new stuff for her house despite saying that she gets bargains like Le Creuset from charity shops.

 

[Grizzlybear]

Omg your description of those boots is perfect, and how it felt so accurate! I bought a red check scarf from topshop & some nu rave (MySpace era) neon acrylic earrings, and the prison break season 1 DVD from HMV! I still have the scarf upstairs, obvs don’t wear it it’s as tatty as those shrouds they claim Jesus was wrapped in that do the rounds every few years And @LavaFlake miss selfridge similar to grizzly I bought a pleather jacket from there and felt

Surely absolutely no one else in the world thought of WEDGEWOOD at that age?! We’re playing a dangerous candyman game here tho fraus we’ll hear about how she binged jellied eels and bought a live laugh love sign from home bargains next as she remembers she’s meant to be in character

I LOVE that you still have it Just the feeling of sheer pride wasn’t it? I can still remember the dopamine rush and working out that you can’t just spunk the money all at once as you won’t bloody get any more until you slog your guts out for twice as long

 

[Pantomimehorse]

Ugh she's one of those people who's together with someone for, like, two weeks before she starts rearranging their entire lives to the way *she* thinks they ought to do things, isn't she?

My first real adult job pay was straight on food and rent. My first teenage job pay was almost certainly splurged on mediocre hot chocolate from somewhere like Costa. Why is she so bleeping weird?

Oh your poor dog I hope he's recovered okay this morning.

I think despite what Vonny is saying, there is actually a lot of compassion and care for people (with autism or otherwise) who can't cope with loud bangs? And as you say, it's understood and even in circumstances where it isn't, there are ways to mitigate the impact. I used to work (yeeeears ago) with a 6 year old with autism who had a lot of sensory problems and found fireworks really hard. His mum had ear defenders, a weighted blanket and a bunch of his favourite food, books and toys for fireworks night/NYE. Not saying fireworks will ever be his ideal evening, but as he got older he started actively becoming involved with planning how to distract himself. Same went for thunder storms. Animals are very different to humans, Vonny. Give people credit.

Sorry, mega post. I'm procrastinating.

I'm so thick I didn't realise what Mrs J stood for until I read this !

 

[Lanie]

On my local Facebook page a couple of people posted about dogs that had bolted due to the fireworks and understandably the posts were getting a lot of attention. Methinks Jack saw similar posts and thought I'll have a bit of that. My bet is Cooper was behind the sofa, at most. Allegedly m'lud.

Edit: wouldn't he be damp if out all night?! Fur absorbs water and dew. It's been foggy round my parts and I expect quite damp down South. He looks dry as a bone!

Cooper has probably decided to take it's chances with the fireworks rather than sit for another evening watching her howling into pillow about how unfair she has it and how no understands her work. Tbf the fireworks probably are less irritating.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Slightly ot has anybody seen the caramel kit Kats?

Did you say caramel Kit Kats?

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Cooper has a 'Catnip Shebeen' set up in the Hellmann's Shed.