Jack Monroe #100 Jack Monroe and The Jimmy Nail Experience - she’s still lying

[ChickenPorridge]

I've just woke up here in the USA and logged on to Jack's Twitter to find out the latest election news and there's nothing about it. Wtf? How will I find out what the heck is going on? Why has she suddenly stopped commentary? Am I missing something? I don't know what to do now.

 

[Veronicaaa]

From her latest auto tweeted recipe, for minestrone soup.

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

Happy 100th thread!!!

Had to skip thread 99 as I was so far behind but the fantastic recap has brought me up to speed, thank(space)you.

Those grapes look like the candy floss ones from M&S, they’re my fave. And expensive. Her page of informing everyone where they should be and where they are allowed to go is extremely controlling and unnecessary! Also I thought she had NO CHILD CARE but I can see several people on that list who apparently provide child care. Which is it Jack? I don’t think she understands the support bubble thing at all. It’s one bubble, not an actual bubble machine with them spewing out left right and centre.

Thoughts to all the locked down Frauen & Fraumen (no idea) in England with you in spirit but not physically soz

 

[PoorPatrol]

Cooper must be like mate I ain’t going back in that shitty bungalow, it stinks of egg. And I actually like the fireworks, you dramatic bitch!

 

[maytoseptember]

From her latest auto tweeted recipe, for minestrone soup.

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OMG, why does she always justify not heating up her oil because she can’t chop veg quickly enough?

Has it genuinely never occurred to her to chop her onions THEN put the pan on the fucking heat? The lack of logic and common sense... I just can’t... help.

 

[MancBee]

Oooooo when did I become a VIP? How exciting, on the 100th thread too.

Hope it is longer lived than last time, only lasted a day if I recall correctly.

 

[Flumps]

Loves, 100 threads, who da thought? Lovely to see the hard working Jimmy make his title appearance on such a momentous occasion and how lovely of 'Bubble Buddy' and JM (and her fucking complete lack of personal privacy boundaries) to come up with so much new nonsense to amuse us through this epoch.

I've been quiet on a lot of the later threads. I'M BUSY, and sometimes JM is bad for my brain. But, to all fraus, herrs and mitherers, thank you. You've genuinely been a brilliant bit of this insane year for me. I'm not nearly as funny as all of you, and I just get cross about food JM cooks and try to press recipes on the rest of you, but I proper think you're all awesome. It's a heartfelt thank you from me for your kindnesses to each other, your wit and your smart, smart comments on all things, JM and non-JM related. Big love. Now fuck off. x

 

[spirals]

Radical idea but why doesn't she save the money from the alleged royalty cheque for the next time she's too poor to buy butter??

 

[Silver Linings]

Bollocks. If she’d been up all night the world would know.

 

[BlendedSlop]

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"Suspicious fishus"
FFS. Why is she like this.

Jack Monroe #101: Vicious suspicious fishus makes non-delicious dishes

 

[Aquamarina]

Just echoing the amazement that we’ve got to one hundred threads. I joined Tattle last September, having been led here by Sali Hughes’ Freaky Friday video rant. I came for that, was curious about Jack Monroe, as I’d seen her featured in The Guardian over the years and was intrigued to find she had several threads. Just over a year later and here I still am commenting on thread 100.

Thank you, you bunch of vicious trolls for the laughs, the warmth and the superb food/life knowledge that you all offer when fellow frauen need it. You’re the best bunch of trolls a girl could ask for and I’d love to meet you all and hang out with you some day. Now absolutely get fucked!

 

[Smeghead]

i CaN't AfFoRd BuTtEr...

(That's at least £20 on chocolate bars for randos on the internet. Then the postage. What the actual fuck...)

She’s got money, I mean, Louisa NOW

 

[Toffee finger]

I see Louisa has deleted the location now which is good though it’s always weird when we get a reminder that they are reading here constantly

 

[Begborrowsteal]

So they both read here.

Louisa, you're a bit of a prick too x

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

In less than 24 hours she’s hand written a weird covid manifesto, pretended to bum tweet, changed her Twitter name, had her cash cow missus move back in, and gone on a manic postage spending spree?

Southend police’s only chance at stopping us is to lock her up

 

[LennyBriscoe]

View attachment 301746

I can’t wait to to try this on Monday!

“Hi Lieutenant van Beuren, it’s Lenny here. I know I was supposed to be on shift six hours ago but the thing is...well I was desperate for some attention last night. I saw there were lots of lost doggos and cattos on social media and they were getting loads of attention and I had to have a bit of it. And then I stayed up all night in case anyone mentioned my name on Twitter so I could pretend I was was shouting “come to mama, Cooper” into the cold, dark night at 20-minute intervals. Well then I had to sleep didn’t I and I couldn’t be hooped setting an alarm for a pre-arranged work thing I had arranged myself.

What? No, of course I haven’t been drinking! I don’t see what the problem is, I can catch baddos tomorrow! Are you not familiar with my body of work Lieutenant?”

 

[Tabitha D]

One of the most embarrassing things I’ve seen for a while is Jack’s handwritten notes on the US election. I can just see her writing it all out very carefully in different coloured pens, with her tongue stuck out in concentration. Then posting it on Twitter because she’s so proud of it. Meanwhile, Louisa does *actual news broadcasting* for a living, at a very senior level too. Imagine her having to say to Jack, “well done darling doesn’t that look nice”, as if you were indulging a child. Because I strongly suspect that is the dynamic in that relationship.
And yet there is Jack, thinking she’s the big expert, completely unaware of how simplistic she is, probably wondering why Louisa hasn’t got her a gig as Krishnan’s replacement on C4 news.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

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Yeah Jack, we've seen your extension leads, pipe down

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Well in positive news, if she is back Jack can stop with the pov shops as she’ll have a two contribution household. Which means she can stay in the shitty bungalow and not have to really on Patreon to pay her rent, so could dial down the poverty porn posting for a while. She won’t though.

 

[crystaleyesd]

View attachment 300476

SB gets eyelid sausages and her followers get chocolate bars. Right. View attachment 300478View attachment 300479

Imagine joking with a total stranger on twitter and she goes and buys you a Twix and then demands your address - totally normal, absolutely the most normal behaviour ever.