Jack Monroe #100 Jack Monroe and The Jimmy Nail Experience - she’s still lying

[Alansbigplate]

*Creeps out from the shadows*
Bonjour, frauen. I have been a severe lurker for a few months. I was never a squiggle, but what I initially thought were Jack's causes are close to my heart (long time foodbank volunteer, first time to triangle opp) so I got drawn in to it all.
Somewhere along the line I stumbled on the magical Tattle, became thoroughly annoyed with Jackie and then I got involved in the shopping trolley debacle (I will say no more) trying to get Jack to Do The Right Thing.

I started a new job on the first day of March lockdown and I've missed the camaraderie of my old workplace. These threads, with all the terminology, myth, legend and frankly terrifying gif work, are giving me a little bit of it back that I can dip into on these sometimes very isolating days.

I don't have Twitter so I'm probably going to be on a permanent Grunka forever. You have my utter dependance, its all I can offer.

 

[Boyo]

Yeah, fixed that for you. Yw.

 

[Harrybosch]

Just scampering in to join the 100 Thread Appreciation club.

I salute you, you severe left-wing comrades.

As you were.

*runs off giggling with unruly labia tucked between the legs*

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Apart from not being able to afford butter, she has admitted that she, a half Northern Irish person, who hasn't come across a stereotype she didn't embrace, just failed to teach someone how to cook a jacket fucking spud.
Get fucked you pointless minge.

 

[PoorPatrol]

Why did she prioritise selling her son's cuddley toys over a wedgewood cup?

“Yeah, sorry SB. Mummy had to sell your dinosaur, and your shoes, plus you’re eating a weetabix with water - but no way am I parting with this old lady tea cup” sitting there like Marie Antoinette while her kid begs for bread and jam.

Some might almost suggest that the stuff about the bread and jam was.... hmmm let me find the words..... misty-eyed rhetoric??

 

[maytoseptember]

Having watched the leftover larders (did I mention?) I couldn't stop thinking what a child she is - the way she talks/ behaves/ listens. All so childish and then I thought what role must her older girlfriends play in her life...slightly creeped out tbh

Yeah, I’ve long thought she has mummy issues, what with having to share her parents with so many foster kids over the years. It’s one of those things I think about a lot and never post about because everyone hates an armchair psychologist wanker.

Problem is, I really love being an armchair psychologist wanker.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

This is my bubble buddy....

 

[Thatmoonringisdanielles]

Opening a school tuck shop on Twitter, I did not see this maverick move coming

 

[Pocahontas]

Jack: Free chocolate to one and all! There’s no catch! Just remember this act of generosity when I’m lying on the kitchen floor in despair again with no butter. Choose anything you want, anything, my pretties! I will fulfil your heart’s desire with chocolate!

Follower: Would love a jar of paprika, cheers love.

 

[SoulRebel]

When I got my first proper monthly pay I bought my mum some fancy Nina Ricci Paris soap bars that were in two pretty plastic boxes. After she died I found them still unwrapped and have one on my bathroom shelf now.
Jack, Jack, we need to know what is going on in the USA NOW, wake up!

 

[blurstoftimes]

View attachment 301770

How long has 'BB' been there for? and already publicly berating her The stakes are so high yet she still can't help herself from acting like a raging cunt!

 

[colouredlines]

If she responds to this very good question, it'll be to say "I don't have to explain every aspect of my life" or some such bullshitty remark View attachment 300758

Jack Monroe is to trans what 'I Kissed a Girl' by Katy Perry was to bisexuality.

 

[Silver Linings]

If you’d sent her your hard earned money you’d be pretty cheesed off. Her whole life is her twitter hits.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Now Louisa is heading back to Jack, will we be graced with a rendition of Tony Braxton's Un-Break My Heart dedicated to Louisa. I can just imagine it now.

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you left me here feeling poor
I thought you'd be my wife
Give me a better life
Un-cry my tears
say you'll sub me again.

Un-rinse these beans

 

[HarderFaster]

I'm not being flippant when I say this - is she having a breakdown? This is seriously worrying behaviour even in Jack-land.

IMO she’s just absolutely delirious to have access to Louisa’s income once more while grifting a couple of grand a month from Patreon alone. This is her dream.

Happiest 100th thread, tragic little hausfrauen and hausherren - I sometimes feel in my industry although I’m screaming into a void when talking about discourses of poverty etc. You’ve made me feel so much better knowing that I don’t just share a hatred of Jack with far right cranks, but a community of smart, funny, empathetic people.

Now where’s our telegram from the Queen? We pay for your palace, now send us our congratulations, Liz.

 

[Bumbear]

I cannot believe I joined this cabal on page 17 of thread 1 on or around 23 March, and I've read every bloody word of all 99 and a bit threads! Still on a permanent grunk as usual but thought I'd just celebrate with a piss and a sandwich...amazing work Frauen und Herren...xxx

 

[Veronicaaa]

This made me unutterably furious last night, posting it here because I see Jack's faved it, so it's on topic. Like Jack, there's nothing Vonny won't make about *her*. My dog has been a total mess for the last month or so, ever since the fireworks round my way started happening (and I'm not saying BAN FIREWORK NIGHT or anything but can we please have it for just one night or even one weekend so that I can plan for it? Or use the silent fireworks?). One of my neighbours' dogs died a couple of years ago after some teenagers let off fireworks in the middle of the day in a dogpark - the dog bolted and got run over. My dog has an extremely traumatic reaction to them so last night was not fun (they do seem louder this year and they were coming from all directions). But as you all say, I can plan ahead for that. What I *can't* plan for however is when I specifically take the dog out for his last walk at 2.30pm (which I did yesterday), hoping to avoid any fireworks induced drama, only to have them start going off at 3pm, leading to my dog dragging me off in a panic (amazed we managed to avoid getting run over) before eventually refusing to move from a specific spot where he felt safe (on an embankment under a tree). Some lovely passersby tried to help but nothing worked and after an hour or so I had to get my mum to come and pick us up and drive us home. ANWAY rant over except to say I am braced for more of the same this weekend because fireworks night isn't just one night, people with autism (Vonny isn't even autistic BTW) can plan ahead as you all say, and they KNOW and UNDERSTAND what is going one, whereas to dogs, cats, foxes etc it must be like being in a war zone with no idea they're not in any danger. Phew, had to get that off my chest!

 

[Veronicaaa]

Another 18 hour working day begins

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

Are we absolutely certain that all those squiggles who requested chocolate from the shop are real?! I wouldn't put it past Jack to have been messaging herself on a load of alt accounts and then bought herself a pile of treats...
I'll take my tin foil hat off now...

 

[chocolate choux]

Old news but the comment about people being gross on public transport was too much. Hasn’t she heard the phrase “before you start pointing fingers, make sure your own hands are clean”? Not even an analogy in this case - she needs to go give her hands a good scrub before commenting on others’ hygiene