COURTROOM DRAMA DAY 3
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Judge: “I have had a look over your evidence Ms Evans, can you confirm that you discussed this with your lawyer before hand, as to what would be permissible?
Here we have:
- an invoice from a linguistics expert who analysed some tweets from a user called ‘Mr Woofington’. You found this person on… Fiverr? Do they have any credentials?
- a damp copy of Hello magazine featuring your wedding
- Ioan’s year 7 school report
- 5 signed sworn statements from Twitter users to verify that you have been ‘defiled’ by Mr Gruffudd”
AE: “I’ve had advice from some of the top legal minds in the world. Also, Lorraine Kelly. I am assured beyond all certainty that this damning information will enlighten the world as to the real Ioan Gruffudd and Bianca Wallace! He has been brainwashed by multiple succubus women and I want to have him committed, to our garage, where I can continue to manage his career. As you can see from his year 7 school report, it says he needs to apply himself.”
Judge: “Did you leave Mr Gruffudd 9 voice messages screaming that he is ruining your life and that you would ruin his?”
AE: “well I may have done but I was under intense stress. That day I ran out of glue for the doll heads - for my Etsy bag shop *models terrifying bag with dolls heads with no eyes*. I went out to the shops for more glue, and a banshee woman accused me of denting her car! I had only dented 4 panels on her car she totally over reacted! I had some wine to calm my nerves and then I woke up confused 3 days later. Gloria called Ioan and told him I was dead and he told her to call 911! The DEFILEMENT of my possible dead body by Ioan not even caring about if I was DEAD OR ALIVE!”
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Next, Tone takes the stand