Well in truth people get tired and they plod on. They have a massive mortgage with 25 years still on it, just redecorated and haven’t paid off the car. The kids have lots of events and people try to wait for a time where they think it will be less stressful, but it never comes around. It’s always a holiday, or a birthday, an exam, a school event, they are having trouble with their friends, they got sick…. So people put it off and off and push it down. They then get resentful. Snappy, the other spouse says what’s up? They row. Fall out. Then it all goes back to ‘normal’ and seems ok. So you chicken out and plod on. Then it blows up again, you get upset. You pluck up the courage to be honest. They cry. You feel bad, you backtrack, your heart isn’t in it. You feel sad. You feel guilty. You try to force yourself to be happy. The kids need you. You worry about money.
most people need a big PUSH to leave
Either a huge row, another person, something terrible happening. People don’t tend to leave when it’s ‘just ok’, because there is hope it might get better