Ioan Gruffudd & Alice Evans #52 More projection than a silent movie theater

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

Could imagine him as Macheath in the Beggars Opera.

Yes! He would be an excellent Captain Macheath!

 

[Perplexity]

Agree. He did say he would find doing the same thing every night boring. OTOH Matthew Rhys did a very long and successful stint on the West End playing against Kathleen Turner in The Graduate. And look who is further ahead now?

Also, why did he turn down £300k for a five week shoot in Wales (according to AE)? Guess he is not that broke after all. Many actors would kill for that gig.

Which shoot?

 

[ReturningthePearls]

Can confirm this helps. Along with scratching said car.

Spoiler: Check-in!

How have you been feeling lately, Sallysgap? How is bébé?

 

[Bridgeofsighs]

I agree with you it doesn’t seem like a smart move. Plus stage actors are usually highly esteemed. Perhaps, it was related to his panic attacks? Just speculating of course.
ETA I left a career in television because of panic attacks.

The panic attacks were much later on after many years of marriage to AE.

 

[ButterTart]

All those people want are someone to fight with them so they can say the other “side” is also behaving badly. Best to just let them scream into cyberspace.

They don’t believe they are behaving badly at all. They just love accusing everyone with a differing opinion of that. Which is one of the things I love about people here. Rational, reasoned discussions, no name calling, the ability to see other‘s points of view, even those we don’t agree with.

 

[Dombey]

First of all, I found Bianca's post very moving. I like her soft and gentle voice, such a difference to mAlice's squawking. I feel for her struggle with MS and for a broken marriage at such a young age, likely because of that diagnosis. She is lovely, and I like her understated way of dressing.

From everything we've heard from the horse's mouth (mAlice herself) and have pieced together the past several weeks, that marriage had been dead as a doorknob for years. She admitted she threatened him with divorce if he didn't get his a.. back to LA at the beginning of the pandemic. Just the other day, someone posted a throwback from her Insta in Fall 2017, where she basically said he had the ick for her back then already and was finding excuses to avoid sex. So much for the soulmate and marital bliss garbage she spouted at the beginning of this drama when he left. I think it's more than obvious that he stayed because of the children - all the more tragic that he seems to have lost them anyway - and was at the least emotionally abused. He was honest with her in August 2020 - at the latest - by telling her he didn't love her and wanted out, then stayed yet another 4 months, maybe to try to smooth things with her and the kids, and then finally left and filed for divorce. He wanted the divorce collaborative and quick, she has vowed to drag it out forever. I really see no betrayal on his part, he was on the upfront about everything except, perhaps, the new relationship. And who are we to blame him?

Am I - at the tender age of 67! - the only one here naive enough to believe an attractive man and woman can bond in times of extreme stress without it automatically being something sexual from the get-go? Frankly, I don't give a flying you-know-what about when it became something else. They are two damaged people who apparently are finding strength in one another and learning to trust again..

I might get whipped here for saying this, but personally, I think it speaks for Ioan as a human being and as a man to commit to this relationship with Bianca, who could very well end up blind and/or in a wheelchair in a very few years, and may even die young. That's a lot to take on, especially with a toxic ex-wife who will never leave him in peace and two children he obviously loves and are being emotionally abused by their own mother, who in my view is the only one who is hurting them, beginning with how she told little Elsie about the divorce filing and going on for months alienating them from him. Yes, I had/have some reservations about him moving into a new relationship so fast, but I wish them the best, whether as a comfort to each other now in hard times or forever.

Bianca said it very succinctly, but at the end of the day, we all have only one life to live and it is finite. I hope he is going for full custody and gets it. I think he and Bianca would be a far better environment and influence for these children.

Wonderful ! Wonderful comment

 

[plinky]

Well, I've had a lot happen in my life too, and I still think cheating is a big deal. So I don't think that's necessarily a good explanation and I'm a little confused about how being pragmatic in life makes infidelity less serious or upsetting. I wouldn't let it end me, of course not, or alienate the other parent over it, but I'd be devastated and I still don't believe it's right.

I find it's getting a bit upsetting to talk about actually, maybe because I'm newly engaged and pregnant, or maybe just shocked at how many people seem to not think it's a big deal and totally justifiable in the right situation or if the person cheated on deserves it. In any case, I'm gonna check out for tonight and maybe tune in tomorrow to see if there are any updates.

Sorry for being upsetting or triggering. I think that as someone else said on another page, if you look back, there are often a million signs that a relationship is struggling but no one wants to address it, so it limps on because of the sunken costs fallacy. There are so many things you can do to fix a relationship before cheating, but often people do not seem to address any of them. They hide away from them, don’t want to talk about them and distance grows. Then one party may grow closer to another. It’s not age or experience that make cheating acceptable, I just understand it based on the mistakes made in past relationships. I remember never feeling so lonely living with someone as I did my ex but 25 year old me… didn’t do anything to fix it

perhaps it’s more that you can see the signs more clearly that it’s a risk - if someone had showed me Alice’s IG and Twitter 2 years ago I would have seen all what we see now in hindsight. Alice didn’t see it at the time though and was blindsided. You need to have the confidence to stand up and bring up the issues and also listen to what the other person is saying. if one partner brings issues to you, are you going to listen to them respectfully?

I feel more confident that I have a healthy relationship now as I take care of it, so I am not worried about cheating - but I haven’t alienated all my family and friends and rely on him to be my best friend. I have my own friends and my own strong relationships outside of him

 

[Caitlyn130]

I just woke up so hopefully this doesn’t come off badly. When 20 odd people have the same thoughts and we all make one comment, that is the same. That BW video was inspirational and we liked it, that doesnt really make us a “fan club”. I personally don’t like being accused of that for one comment. One comment. And while I’m here no I don’t think they had an affair either. I’ve already explained before but I think they met Aug 2020 as AD said. They made a connection and he flew home shortly after. They continued a supportive online relationship from there. There is zero evidence of an affair so I will not accuse them of one.

If this is aimed at me, I never said anything about a fan club.

 

[LucySmith]

If this is aimed at me, I never said anything about a fan club.

No not aimed at you, I don’t remember names. Just mention/S of fan clubs. So I’m just saying that one comment shouldn’t be seen as fan clubbing. It’s just a group of people with same reaction and thoughts.

 

[sweetnessfollows]

I agree with this. I have always been concerned that Ioan has moved from one significant relationship to another. This is a massive overstatement I know, so please don't shoot me, but men tend to do this, and then regret what they have done later. Women tend to lick their wounds and ruminate before jumping into the next relationship. I do worry Ioan will have overcommitted too early. And quite frankly, if it does not work out with Bianca, he really is going to be a complete douche bag in the eyes of the world in every way. Leaving a crazy fighty, shouty woman for a woman with MS and then leaving her will fry him.
Edited for content

Not to be a generalist, but men tend to regret moving from one woman to another like they regret making more money for the same job and doing the extra work to change it.

Maybe there is regret but who lives a life without a regret that you can look at yourself.

I think IG mentally checked out a decade ago, even before their second daughter was born.

 

[mickeycat]

Skipping forward to say I've just watched BW's insta reel.

While I can't stand AE and her shite, I've had mild reservations over fully rooting for IG and BW - probably purely because I've seen very little from them to base an opinion on, only AE's side.

Anyway, I think I've just fallen a bit in love with She seems so lovely and warm - and so strong - such a refreshing contrast to the last 4 months of AE's antics. So, for the first time ever, I've actually just interacted with one of these people's socials, and liked her post.

Really hope nothing has happened in the next 20 pages to prove me wrong or I'll look a right dick

P.S. My name is not Mickey and I am not a cat. It's clear from my avatar that I am in fact a tiny foul-mouthed dog. I chose the cat name to confound all triangulation attempts, obvs.

Back to page 25...

 

[Under_theRadar]

Well, I've had a lot happen in my life too, and I still think cheating is a big deal. So I don't think that's necessarily a good explanation and I'm a little confused about how being pragmatic in life makes infidelity less serious or upsetting. I wouldn't let it end me, of course not, or alienate the other parent over it, but I'd be devastated and I still don't believe it's right.

I find it's getting a bit upsetting to talk about actually, maybe because I'm newly engaged and pregnant, or maybe just shocked at how many people seem to not think it's a big deal and totally justifiable in the right situation or if the person cheated on deserves it. In any case, I'm gonna check out for tonight and maybe tune in tomorrow to see if there are any updates.

People cheat. It happens. Yes it's bloody painful, but it's not the worst thing that can happen to someone. That would be cancer, dementia, losing a child.

 

[ReturningthePearls]

Late to the party but I have something to confess. I am not, indeed, Tone Corleone. I’m a Dominatrix from the Pacific Northwest. (Lupine, if you’re interested, a good spanking is 250)

I had to sedate myself again today and have not cracked even the slightest grin since 5 AM (it is now 3:15 PM here), THANK YOU FOR THIS. Feels like breaking thru my shell. 🥲

 

[brie l]

Funnily enough, I feel more sad for Alice tonight than I have for a good while. I feel sad that someone who was beautiful, accomplished and vivacious feels currently left with a looming divorce, a precarious financial future, a tit ton of crafting accessories and the knowledge she is no longer 29. The only way she can find to express this seems to be via oceans of spite and bile, but it doesn't have to be that way.

This is really sincerely meant if you are watching Alice. There is still beauty, there is still a sense of fun, there is still accomplishment, there is still intelligence, there are still two lovely children you fought to give birth to. You have these things, you may have lost sight of them but I truly hope you can find them again and put them to good use to go forward. It isn't over for you, you know.

I'm a bit the same. I rewatched her cameo video and the last line where she says she is really looking forward to making cameos, is very sad. This is what her career has become. Her life literally is in the toilet so I have empathy but then I remember that most of the tit she is swimming around with is of her own making.

 

[Penguin86]

Off topic:
Dont you have to be careful with salt with dodgy kidneys

 

[Endora]

Maybe it was a scheduling thing? Theatre runs can be months and months, and you work every single day for not nearly as much money as a film role. I can understand giving film auditions a go and not wanting to be tied to a theatre contract even if it meant turning down some good stuff for the time being. I’d love to know what the roles were though! It’s so interesting seeing actors on stage when you’ve only seen them on tv before.

Did I read on here that he's prone to anxiety attacks? I'm not an actor, but I'm guessing it's somewhat less nerve wracking to act in a production that can be Take Two'ed or Three'ed vs. being live on stage with no do-overs.

 

[Caitlyn130]

No not aimed at you, I don’t remember names. Just mention/S of fan clubs. So I’m just saying that one comment shouldn’t be seen as fan clubbing. It’s just a group of people with same reaction.

Ok, sorry.

There are so many things you can do to fix a relationship before cheating, but often people do not seem to address any of them.

I agree with this and acknowledged it in a previous post. My issue is, why cheat at all? Why not "There are so many things you can do to fix a relationship before cheating ending it"? I'm not specifically talking about abuse or what may or may not have happened in BW/IG's case - I just don't see what the issue is in having the respect to say 'it's over' before moving on to something new.

Anyway, I guess we all have different opinions on this so I won't argue the point any more. I'm still surprised that so many people think cheating is NBD, and that it's my lack of life experience that makes me feel that it is, but that's on me to deal with.

 

[ButterTart]

Off topic:
Dont you have to be careful with salt with dodgy kidneys

Yes, you do. All forms of sodium.

Ok, sorry.


I agree with this and acknowledged it in a previous post. My issue is, why cheat at all? Why not "There are so many things you can do to fix a relationship before cheating ending it"? I'm not specifically talking about abuse or what may or may not have happened in BW/IG's case - I just don't see what the issue is in having the respect to say 'it's over' before moving on to something new.

Anyway, I guess we all have different opinions on this so I won't argue the point any more. I'm still surprised that so many people think cheating is NBD, and that it's my lack of life experience that makes me feel that it is, but that's on me to deal with.

I still don’t think anyone has said it’s no big deal. Just that they didn’t or wouldn’t find it as crushing as they once might have. That their reactions are more nuanced than they might have expected. No one has said, sure, go on! Enjoy yourself with all the affairs you want.

 

[A Little Grey]

we all have our opinions none of which are right or wrong. I personally don’t see the poor me in her video. I too am older, 52 this year. I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 28, full hysterectomy when I was 29. The first 2 or 3 years I had 15 operations and have had an operation every 8 months since. The last 2 years because of the amount of operation they switched me over to chemo and now I have chemo for 3 months out of every 9. I wish I had just an ounce of courage that Bianca has. I wish I could do the positives like she does. I DID do the poor me when I was first diagnosed, I did the hide under the bedcovers, pretend it isn’t happening, cry and scream, the why me, I WAS very self centred, and very much me me me.

What I took from Bianca’s video was a very positive attitude, and a determination not to allow the MS to be the main focus of her life

Its very hard when at a young age you are diagnosed with something that is lifelong, that is life changing. Something that will never be cured and something that you don’t know how it will progress. It’s only since coming here my outlook on how I handle things has changed and if Bianca’s video has shown me anything it’s that I have a long way to go.

I commend her, I wish I was as brave, as eloquent and as able to deal as she is. I have seen people say they are in love with her now but I think I have just found a new role model (even if she is many years younger than myself).

Have been sat on my hands all morning with my mother's voice whispering in my ear 'if you can't say something nice, then say nothing at all.'

But I've decided to say something and will be in a total minority here and am prepared to be shouted down or to walk away from here.

I won't go into my personal story here, but I'd just like to say that it has taken me many years to find my voice and I am still practising so please bear with me.

I am really sorry that Bianca is living with MS. I have people in my life who have it and many years post diagnosis they are well and living full and active lives. It is not the death sentence it once was and the prognosis is very good. Diet, exercise and lifestyle choices help to keep the people I know healthy and well.

I guess my problem with Bianca is from a moral judgement point of view and I am also including Ioan in this view. As Welp says above, she is not convinced of the nature of how their relationship came to be. We have no evidence of timelines either way and this is what plays on my mind. If Bianca knowingly had an affair with a married man, then in my mind that is really crappy behaviour and her diagnosis of MS does not give her a 'get out of jail free' card. I can have sympathy for her diagnosis, but I can also still say that her behaviour is appalling and totally crappy. Just as I can have sympathy for Alice because Ioan cheated on her but can also think her behaviour over the last year has been cruel and undignified.

I think the part that doesn't sit well with me about Bianca's behaviour is my ability to put myself in another person's shoes and feel the consequences of her behaviour. Before I continue, I will just state that if I find evidence she is totally innocent then I will apologise to all and sundry. I know myself well enough to know I could not be magnanimous to another women if she had an affair with my husband even if she did have a medical condition. I would definitely leave my husband if I found out and I know I would act with more dignity than Alice but I could not accept the situation just because the woman had a medical condition. I like to think I am pretty evolved but I aint that evolved, I have limits.

The other thing that I feel really uncomfortable about is Bianca's video about her condition. Despite trying to portray a message of 'positivity,' I got an undercurrent of 'poor me.' Poor me, this is what I deal with and leave me alone Alice and those that dislike me.

I am a lot older than Bianca and maybe it's a generational thing but I don't get the whole sharing your life on social media stuff. If you are a big movie star then yes, people have always loved looking into the lives of the rich and famous. I used to love looking at magazines with a relative, at the pictures and write ups of Hollywood stars, you dreamed, you aspired and it was escapism. But Bianca is or was an accountant who had done some 'extra' type work on a series, she is not a movie star. I do have an instagram account but it is private for my family and friends so we can share family and friends photos with each other. There is no need for anyone else to see them, they are private and we are private.

Some may say that Bianca is inspirational and I can see why they would say that. She was diagnosed with a medical condition and decided to make some life changes. I guess for me, I'm more an action kind of gal than a word one. I don't tell people about my achievements, words are cheap and plentiful, actions require hard work and speak from themselves.

I lost a very dear person a few months ago. I have known them for over 20 years. I didn't know until the end of their life that they were dying of cancer. They had been fighting it for 6 years. This very dear person was an action kind of person. I found out that once they had received their diagnosis they chose to keep it quiet. They didn't want sympathy, they didn't want to appear to be a victim. They took the treatment, they took the medication and the only people who knew were the people who were treating them. They raised over a million pounds for charity in those 6 years from diagnosis to death. Their focus was on service, on what little life they had left and how they could use it to serve others.

I could easily understand if they had gone into self pity mode and would have willingly comforted them in that place. But they chose dignity and service of others as their legacy. And that is how I will remember them.

Experience had taught me that actions speak so much louder than words. Yes, a wonderful piece of prose will transport me but actions will either earn my respect or disdain. Bianca's actions to date have not earned my respect. Knowingly choosing to have an affair with a married man to me is disdainful. You are choosing to hurt another human being with your actions.

You can rationalise your actions by telling yourself the recipient isn't a nice person or that they deserve the consequences of your actions. But do they? As evolved human beings with some semblance of emotional intelligence can we really say that the values that form out moral compass are dependent on other's behaviours? I despise violence unless you support another football team, then my violence towards you is justified. Are we so easily swayed? I'd like to think I wasn't.

I place high value on fidelity. It is important to me. If you want to be unfaithful then leave your current relationship, there are no exceptions. It will cause hurt, it will cause pain but it is about respect for the other person. You owe that other person respect not humilation.

Bianca chose to cause hurt to another human being because she considered her needs were more important than the person she chose to hurt. Her actions were not about service of others, her actions were and are about service to self.

All three parties is this sordid tale have questionable behavoiurs and as I've said before, Alice shouts the loudest and gets the most attention. Just because you shout the loudest doesn't necessarily mean you are the worst. More damage is often done in the darkness of the night than in glare of the sun.

 

[Caitlyn130]

Yes, you do. All forms of sodium.


I still don’t think anyone has said it’s no big deal. Just that they didn’t or wouldn’t find it as crushing as they once might have. That their reactions are more nuanced than they might have expected. No one has said, sure, go on! Enjoy yourself with all the affairs you want.

That has specifically been said, yes.