Ioan Gruffudd & Alice Evans #229 The day that Ioan realised she was totally and utterly bonkers

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Lulugrace

Congratulations on the title thread! I wonder what this week will bring
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And you're a genius
https://giphy.com/3o85xr9ZKY1wbbJXDW
 
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G

Gilbert

ThisishowIlivenow said:
It was yes. We've been subjected to such lovely things through the years so we have.
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I’d love to see Alice try some of these hair styles. A deep conditioning treatment, a good cut and some loose waves. I think she might have been aiming for this when she did the granny curls for the nose picking selfie. It would be great to see her with a great cut and colour and some movement in her hair. I think it would soften her face tenfold and make her look much younger.
 
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Bridgeofsighs

This is probably Alice socking on the DM. Everyone's Bianca lol


and this is what's called using the children as both a sword and a shield, just like Andrea Burkhart said. Of course, it's projection. AFE bullies her kids, not us. A narc's accusations are confessions.

 
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ThisishowIlivenow

Let's aim a bit lower for her, knowing her as we do.
She should try cleaning it once in a while. I hear shampoo is good.


However I do agree that her hair could benefit from everything you said. If she just did something to it, it would be good.
 
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Lulugrace

Very good idea my love!
@welp usually gets anything before most of us....you gotta get up early in the morning to catch Welp out!
 
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NarcRage

Yes and I've never done this. They are victims and should be protected. I don't think they should be photographed or plastered all over the media by their mother.
 
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sallygsoton

AFE says "you can be certain there is only one of these in the world!"...

Thank fuck for that says...the rest of the world!
 
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lulooo

This is brilliant @Ametrine, absolutely brilliant. I chuckled so hard I sounded like a demented walrus, and woke the eldest dog up
 
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Autisteuse

I’ve been thinking about what’s going on with Ella, and the disapprobation she still receives on these threads sometimes.
I teach psychology to pre-U students - one of my many hats. I won’t go into axons and dendrons; but I think it’s important to bear in mind what happens to the brain as a child reaches adolescence. In short, it’s Armageddon. Grey matter decreases; white matter increases. The brain refolds itself, trimming away extraneous matter. Neurons and neuronal activity increases. Emotions run riot. A teenager’s social state reflects directly on her mental state, and vice versa. Lifelong tendencies to depression and addiction are established during the teen years. Ella has been going through years of hell. We only see the carnage of Casa Evans from a distance. Ella is in the middle of it.
Alice referred to the girls as her ‘life’s work’. IG, for the sake of his own sanity - and I don’t think it would be pushing the envelope through the sorting-office wall to say ‘existence’ - left Ella at the worst possible time in her development, because Alice left him no choice in so doing. She was on the cusp of young adulthood, where, as mentioned above, the brain goes through sizeable and unalterable changes. Physical development, menstruation - with its huge challenges, not the least of which means a young woman realises her capacity for fertility and has to guard against it, plus all the predatory behaviour from the males of the species it brings - and, as a Harvard study suggests, cycling through every single human emotion once every twenty four hours… plus the nightmare of a manipulative and damaging mother-figure who punishes where she should praise, and praises where she should punish.
Ella should have been allowed to follow the normal maturation process, i.e. begin to separate herself from the mother figure and explore her own identity. (Usually, this involves a lot of slammed doors, ‘I hate you’, and competition.) Instead, she was forced to believe she could ‘change’ and counsel her own father. She had to witness her mother’s incessant drunkenness, alarming behaviour, and experience foulmouthed abuse. Ella endured endless tales of her father’s apparent betrayal, to the extent she became brainwashed against him. Then, at a time when she should have been indulging in customary adolescent risk-taking and social interaction, she was pulled from school and wider society for an entire year and isolated with an abusive, substance-addicted woman. God knows how many hours Alice worked on Ella. And God only knows what Alice claimed, given her unfamiliarity with the truth. I wouldn’t be surprised if Evans claimed IG perpetrated the most vile and horrific crimes in an effort to get Ella onside.
What seems to be forgotten is just how young Ella is. Her shocking behaviour during the sleepover is not that of an adult, but a much younger child. Older adolescents may have indulged in a bit of arson and/or criminal damage. Ella threw around groceries and ran away. The account of her behaviour by the psychiatrist is more reminiscent of a nine-year-old - and the judge saw it.
Because she has been simultaneously infantilised and parentified, she has been forced into the position whereby she feels responsible for Alice, yet has absolutely no compulsion to mature. Her various crimes - hacking into his IG and posting infantile messages, stealing $400 for Christmas presents - are the actions of a much younger person. Her height is irrelevant. She’s a damaged, disturbed kid who has been kept in a near-hostage situation. She has had no chance to develop at her own speed, and her enforced isolation ensures she’s infantilised.
She’s not beyond hope, though. The therapist with whom she is working will be making sizeable changes. By appealing to her immaturity, they will hopefully be able to instill in her the foundations for responsible, mature adulthood. But it is incredibly difficult to undo that much manipulation, estrangement and faux-adoration. Pushing her down the model route, so that Alice can be a Kardashian-style momager, is a catastrophic mistake. While Ella is undoubtedly a beautiful girl, she has neither the maturity nor resilience to cope with the dark, cutthroat, shallow and insincere world of modelling.
I think IG knows all this, which is why he hasn’t given up hope. It may take years for Ella to grow up and wake up to what has been done to her, but he will always be ready to welcome her home. She is a desperately wounded soul who needs understanding and compassion, no matter how vilely she has behaved. It is best not to judge her by adult standards, but see her as the wounded, manipulated child that she is.

(Apologies for the essay. Returning to lurking - depression. Love to all.)
 
Reactions: 94

welp

Ioan and Bianca bowling with an accountant and an investment person (If I have searched for the right people) is exactly my kind of humor given the recent filings lol

I actually wonder once they marry if Bianca thinks of doing something related to her old job again (her visa status will have blocked her so far from that). She clearly isnt going to have a acting career beyond occasional fun mini gigs. Of course if she received a insurance pay out as we suspect this wont be possible, but there are other jobs she can do even with MS. And I can understand not working if you dont have to thanks to your wealth.
 
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Bridgeofsighs

Autisteuse said:
It is best not to judge her by adult standards
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I agree with what you said and I've said before that 14 is a difficult age anyway. However I have never judged her by adult standards, just that of a 14 yo.

Autisteuse said:
The therapist with whom she is working will be making sizeable changes.
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I would like to think that but I doubt it giving she is living with a narc mom who is VERY anti-therapy. Everything the therapist says will be disparaged when Ella gets grilled about it. I said years ago that the kids needed to be removed from AFE and they weren't so now the problems will be much harder to deal with as they have to return to Casa Crazy after every session and AFE has had years to work on them.

Autisteuse said:
She’s not beyond hope, though.
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Yes!
 
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lulooo

Tuppence said:
I know she's expensive but I think it's best to commission Alice to do the bedazzling. No matter how many button and bow classes one takes I dont think any of us could achieve a similar aesthetic and nuance when it comes to her handbags and gladrags.
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Does the Abuser throw in a free horse blanket with all her orders? Asking for a friend with absolutely no taste
 
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ZipSilver

I can never forget Alice telling the girls she didn’t want to see them and they could fuck off to Gloria’s. The ‘the babies can support me or fuck off’. If Ella appears to support Alice’s vile behaviour it’s because she has no choice. For her own survival. She has been separated from her father, is well aware she isn’t safe or secure with her mother, and likely feels she has to do everything her mum says to avoid being abandoned or threatened or worse.

Think we’d all do well to put ourselves in the shoes of a ten year old who loses their dad (who believes their dad has outright upped and abandoned them), whose mother is a frightening presence, who then spends the next three years in hell, unable to escape to school for much of that time, trying to protect her little sister, whose mother is ineffectual, who is told for years she is going to lose her home and who knows where we’ll end up? Just the pain alone of having such a close bond with her dad and then being told he no longer loves her. She’s doing the best the can and frankly I’m surprised she hasn’t done worse than she has. People forget when you’re under this kind of pressure and stress you will do whatever it takes to survive.
 
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Bridgeofsighs

ZipSilver said:
Think we’d all do well to put ourselves in the shoes of a ten year old
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Ella's 14 now. I have put myself in her shoes and I still don't think I would have done what she did. Other people might though and that's why there's a personal element involved in this, not just environmental as I already said. One size does absolutely not fit all because we are all different.
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WinterSolstice said:
I’d love to see Alice try a job.
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She has a job lol. THE BAYBEEZ!!!

Speaking of job, I better do some work myself.
 
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IKickLikeKatya

Look at that, people leaving the house to do something fun. Al should take notes on what having a life looks like. It certainly isn't endless mirror selfies
 
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G

Gilbert

I agree that (in my opinion) she should be viewed as a wounded, manipulated child. Her actions, however, are abhorrent. I think it’s understandable that observers are horrified by her behaviour. That doesn’t mean said observers don’t understand her vulnerability and the monumental damage Alice has done.
Incidentally I don’t think there would have been a good time for Ioan to leave. Alice would still have weaponised Ella and encouraged things like the credit card theft and online abuse. He was damned if he stayed and damned if he left. I do wonder though, if he believed she would agree to shared custody purely based on her laziness. That might have been the one thing that surprised him.
 
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IHateHadargoyle

Not one of us here is blaming Ella for what that “thing” has done to her. It’s hard to speak about the children without mentioning what many of us see based on a lifetime of experience with a narc family member. And remember it’s her 9 month hotel who has hurt, damaged, and abused Ella. Not us. The incident at the apartment in June really made it impossible not to discuss what’s happening in reference to the children. I am desperately sorry for anyone who has to spend one day with the “thing.” She’s a monster! It’s AFE calling her a “tedious bitch” instead of throwing her a birthday party. That is what will make her recovery harder, not saying she’s a spoiled brat, needs her hair trimmed, a dentist, or needs new clothes. If she reads these threads she will see who is really on her side. And if it makes posters here upset to discuss the children then why not just make it a rule to not do it at all. It’s unfair to those of us who are merely making observations to paint us as unsympathetic people who say mean things about children. Many of us here on this thread have similar life experiences to Ella, myself included. I have always wanted one thing for those children. A happy life with love, guidance, healthy boundaries, adventures, fun, and understanding. MOO
 
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lanabels

Id love to see a more icy blond with a few low lights insead of brass yellow
 
Reactions: 4
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