CPTSD goes in peaks and troughs. You can have a relatively good day; the next, you may be hypervigilant and your anxiety will be off the charts. I have CPTSD, and had therapy for it for five years. It still hasn’t gone. Certain things trigger and retraumatise me. And, as an autistic woman with suspected ADD (am being assessed sometime before 2030 on the NHS), anxiety and overstimulation are par for the course. I’m going back to therapy next week. I imagine Bianca is in therapy too.
She’s made the choice to face her demons and look them in the eyes while being positive about the hand she has been dealt, what she’s experienced and what she continues to grapple with. It’s admirable. In a world seemingly populated by a million vapid, pouting and preening influencers, she actually offers honesty and hope. Far from ‘piping down’, she has been a model of decorum and good form over the past several years. She has endured daily attacks from Alice, ‘Tone’, Alice’s demented fans and clingers-on, and even her partner’s children. She has been abused, accused and vilified while going through huge physical upheavals as a consequence of her MS and the emotional strain of not only supporting the man she loves and bearing the huge burden he has been forced to shoulder; she has been dragged through the tabloids and courts, lied about by a manipulated, unwell child and accused of assault.
Why should Bianca be quiet? Did Alice herself not say that she would never be quiet, never give up, refused to act with dignity? Has Bianca launched a campaign of hate and intimidation against Alice? Has she slandered her looks, misogynistically implied that she is sexually ‘impure’, had every facet of her personality, character and identity challenged, been held responsible for her behaviour? No? Funny, that.
I admire Bianca. Initially, I thought she was a little too good to be true; but her tenacity and courage under horrendous conditions is truly remarkable. She has - or was it her sister? - alluded to domestic violence in her marriage. She has endured mental violence from Alice and ‘Tony’ Evans. She has never backed down.
We don’t know what has been going on behind the scenes, but, given past performances from the Diva of WeHo - fake restraining orders, a damaged flat, physical intimidation by a manipulated minor, and likely a torrent of written filth from Alice’s poison pen via email, text and SM - the truth is likely to be more horrible, more unhinged and vicious than even we, pragmatic women that we are, can imagine. Something pretty extraordinary must have happened for Bianca to break her silence in this way. I’m sure that revelations will come soon enough.
Lastly, don’t attempt to silence victims. Don’t do it. Don’t demand that she - indeed, we: after a lifetime of pain of every kind - go in silence. Don’t insist that we perpetuate the status quo. Don’t try to take a young woman’s voice. Don’t give power to abusers. We no longer live in such a world; nor should we. To do so is to be complicit with the damaging structures and violence perpetrated. When people like Bianca speak out, they enable others to find their voices. She is not acting in malice, unlike the woman who has gone crazy for over a thousand days and left scorched earth in her wake.
I’m going back to lurking while I sort my head out - this time of year is always difficult, and physical problems have compounded my own CPTSD - but I had to respond to that. And wish you all a very happy New Year.