Hunters & Heels #2

[Hashtagged]

New thread suggestion:

Hunters and Heels #3: white floaty dresses and (empty) baguettes tied up with string, these are a few of the most gram worthy things

 

[Notenoughgin]

I really wonder how those kids will make friends and what those friends will think when they come over to play with their 1950s toys!!

Yes!
Mate: Hey Ror can I come over to your house? What console you got xbox one or Nintendo switch?
Rory: Um I can let you have a go on my wooden connect four? They’ll be lashings of ginger beer and Mummy might let us use the #English stamp company Landy stamp.
Mate: Nah sounds shite.

 

[Starshining]

“Please leave me a comment about your favourite essential oils tips. Don’t DM me though, as I need the engagement or companies won’t see me and I will need to reduce my rate card. It’s this global pandemic you see, our Col’s been furloughed, no commission coming in, I work part time and The White Company are paying me in bland clothes! That ain’t going to pay my rent so please tell me about your favourite essential oil in the comment box. I’m not really interested but I will like the post and give you a short reply, calling you darling”

 

[HashtagRealTalk]

Hunters&Heels #3: Softporn swimming in Symonds Yat and frolicking around poppy fields like a big fucking twat

(not sure if we’ll be allowed this one due to the sweary-ness )

 

[MissTeddy]

I followed her before swipe ups and stories etc were a thing - But I unfollowed her, Blossoming Birds and GettingStuffDoneinHeels when they all morphed into the same twee grabby shite. The only one I still follow of that ilk is RVKLoves - just for the lols at how appalling she is.

...But anyway ... the thing I NEVER got with Lauren was how she’s all about the aesthetic, and the styling and the beauty - but our Colin’s face looks like it’s been hit with a shovel. She goes on and on about him like he’s Tom Hardy ... no dear, he looks like, A Colin.

 

[Rosé_all_day]

It’s all smoke and mirrors! I have visions of Col as long suffering Richard, like with Mrs Bouquet! ‘COLINNNNNN, THE FORTNUM AND MASON PICNIC BASKET DEAR, NOT YOUR UGLY BACKPACK!’

 

[StanleySon]

I’d love to live near Lauren and spot her in non sepia, non dreamy moments eg Lauren at Asda, at MOT Centre, at the soft play party, at Robert Dyas (does she do all the mundane daily activities in a flowing dress + whicker basket? Twat)

So I live locally to them both. About 3 years ago I spotted her at a good festival in Hereford. It was a gorgeous day & I was there with my 2, but they were bored to death, we stayed for about 3 hours listening to the music, eating a bit, kids had ice creams, it was a great event - hubby and I would have stayed for about 12 hours drinking cocktails and eating everything - but really not the thing for young families so we grudgingly left our child free friends with their cocktails/beers and headed home...

However...back to Laur...

I watched her arrive with her marching family - all of them in blue shirts and white jeans - it was boiling they must have been very uncomfortable.

She walked around every stand in about 30 mins took photos didn’t see her eat a thing, or the kids. Bought stuff and then marched them all out again.

Her IG stories that day raves about what a glorious afternoon she had with her family and millions of phots and filtered snaps of her precious boys eating...but eating like 8 meals.

I guess she bought one of everything say them down told them to take a bite, passed it on to the next child, then did the same with the next food item - all for the ‘gram.

It was then I realised how completely fake it was. They weren’t there to enjoy the day. It was a content filler for her job. End of.

 

[Olliespitfire]

So I live locally to them both. About 3 years ago I spotted her at a good festival in Hereford. It was a gorgeous day & I was there with my 2, but they were bored to death, we stayed for about 3 hours listening to the music, eating a bit, kids had ice creams, it was a great event - hubby and I would have stayed for about 12 hours drinking cocktails and eating everything - but really not the thing for young families so we grudgingly left our child free friends with their cocktails/beers and headed home...

However...back to Laur...

I watched her arrive with her marching family - all of them in blue shirts and white jeans - it was boiling they must have been very uncomfortable.

She walked around every stand in about 30 mins took photos didn’t see her eat a thing, or the kids. Bought stuff and then marched them all out again.

Her IG stories that day raves about what a glorious afternoon she had with her family and millions of phots and filtered snaps of her precious boys eating...but eating like 8 meals.

I guess she bought one of everything say them down told them to take a bite, passed it on to the next child, then did the same with the next food item - all for the ‘gram.

It was then I realised how completely fake it was. They weren’t there to enjoy the day. It was a content filler for her job. End of.

This!! I live in the same town as them both and often see them prancing around with their tripods.

 

[Notenoughgin]

The only way Laur could shoe-horn a digital device AD into her 1950s Enid Blyton themed insta was to put both kids behind a giant fucking chiffon net tent hung from a tree in the garden. Totally fake as it would’ve been too bright to see the bloody screen and we all know those boys only play with wholesome organic wooden toys that have been whittled by artisans in ancient Forests, and painted in traditional neutral colours made by gathering berries and plants

 

[InstaLurk]

Good for you. I agree it is completely tone deaf and opportunistic. Cynical marketing at a time when people are only hopefully temporarily working from home and are worried sick about their long term job security and shouldn’t be being influenced to spend money on a home office, pretty appalling from next, totally expected from this snake oil saleswoman

I think, like a lot of them, they’re probably in a precarious position. They rent, so no mortgage holiday, and car salesman Colin will be furloughed on his basic wage excluding commission. I’d have more sympathy if they were honest and admitted they are having a tough time (like many of us). Instead, she posts sepia-tinted pictures of the boys in their little lord Fauntleroy outfits while she minces about in linen dresses holding her glass of wine by the stem pretending its not taken 15x shots by the very Colin-like Colin. Flogging stuff to take advantage of people in the current climate is abhorrent. I hope influencing dies of corona.

 

[headshoulderskneesandtoes]

Maybe its me, but i never realised how big a holiday Easter is. She decorated her house, kids room, had a wreath, and now sending her friends easter gifts. Bit confused too. Are those £65 chocolates something she has ordered and showing us she is gifting them or a suggestion she is making to her followers?
Cripes, £65 on a box of chocolates in this current climate. She must be bonkers. On with her constant, Happy Friday, Happy Mondays, Happy Tuesdays, life is wonderful, the kids are super well behaved what with their flower pressing and cake making blah blah blah. She needs to tone that shit down. And get fucking real. Do people want to see her fake curated life when people are losing jobs, worried about vulnerable family, homeschooling and a possible turn in the economy. £65 chocolates my arse.

 

[SeaWitch]

I like the granny nighties, but courgette on pizzas is an abomination

I dunno, know one knows what goes one behind closed doors.
it takes two to tango and Col is certainly more the villain to play away with a young baby.

New thread name needed...
(Was she really do boring no-one could think of one last time?! )

hunters and heels part 3 - a rented life so hideously twee, our Laur’s become a premature granny.

 

[headshoulderskneesandtoes]

Its a North Face backpack, probably something everyone has for going for country hikes, so i dont know why on earth she was slating it as ugly. I bet she was walking behing carrying a ring light, reflector, camera, tripod, wearing a white midi skirt, cream cosy lush but shapeless jumper, her £400 boots and a cream wool coat from Wallis.idiot.

 

[_crescentmoon_]

Hunters & heels #3 Always a fake smile and never a frown, amazing what Botox and makeup can do when you work for Bobbi brown.

Hunters & heels #3 soft porn and old lady nightgowns with a forehead so stiff she can never show a frown

 

[InstaLurk]

It’s all smoke and mirrors! I have visions of Col as long suffering Richard, like with Mrs Bouquet! ‘COLINNNNNN, THE FORTNUM AND MASON PICNIC BASKET DEAR, NOT YOUR UGLY BACKPACK!’

No Col, the boys cannot wear their paw patrol T shirts!!! Put your pot noodle away and take a photo with this tricolore salad!!!!

 

[MissTeddy]

Bet she doesn’t play much hip hop now as she cultivates her Enid Blyton twee existence... she’s such a fraud.

 

[Rosiepie]

Does she think people are THAT stupid? I don’t have any friends that chat about hoovers. Laur there are plenty of cordless hoovers out there in the market - I have one - a good one (I have a dog too and kids and a fairly large house so needed one with a good battery) - I simply did my homework online, looked at reviews, ordered one and paid for it with my own money. Pretty sure if your friends had cordless hoovers and were raving about them you would have bought one that they had suggested, or indeed you would have asked your ‘followers’ for their recommendations, just like you did with the courgette flower question. But you didn’t, you just happened to be approached by Miele (who I’m now disappointed with) to be PAID to produce an advert promoting their latest model and get one gifted in the process. Influencers are the biggest bulls***ers out there!

 

[ced60]

She has more white dresses than the average bridal shop! I cannot imagine that there are too many mothers of two young boys who prance around in white dresses hanging out the washing on their tippie toes whilst their other half sets up a tripod to take her photo and the stepford kids play with their wooden toys without ever a cross word between them .. She’s totally ridiculous! Fake Lauren !

 

[StanleySon]

OMFG.
I actually can’t cope.

I am a POC (not that you need to be to have eyes and be able to see straight through Lauren).
She had never EVER shared any women of colour in any shape or form before.

This is offensive on so many levels. I give it a month tops before Lauren stops posting women of colour because IG has gone quiet on BLM.

 

[SarcasticEllis]

It’s not wild swimming you arse, it’s paddling. You went paddling.