Yeah see id be saying the exact same things to any of my female friends in these situations- the only difference is I’d be saying it over a few bottles of wine!!!!!
I know it’s not what people want to hear - I fully get that but sometimes it’s what people need to hear to give them that jolt of reality.
My heartbreak was caused by a boy (i refuse to call him a man) who was a naraccistic
bleep who fully exploited me and mentally abused me- all in the name of love blah blah. He was absolutely vile, and a total minger as well. Now i look back and think what the
duck did i see in him. And yet he treated me awful. Cheated on me with prostitutes, lied about everything, gave me an STD, fully took advantage of my mental health issues-BPD, Bipolar 2. He even tried to exploit me in becoming a prostiute, i didnt but i was close. He used to randomly 'split up' with me, block me, and then a couple of weeks later he would get back in touch. And i let him do it to me!! I let him do it and make so many excuses for him.
I tried to kill myself and ended up sectioned. Thankfully im still here. But something beautiful happened when i was in hospital. I got rid of my phone and couldnt contact him and he couldnt contact me. I got rid of social media as well. And i didnt even miss him. All i felt was a huge relief being lifted from my shoulders. Therefore i think i was 'obsessed' with the so called thrill of the toxic relationship. But i thought i loved him, and thought all the ups and downs was part of the romantic adventure. When really he was abusing me and exploiting me.
I havent seen him since and honestly i would just walk straight past him now and ignore him. I dont even hate him as that emotion is too close to love..I finally understand the phase "There is a thin line between love and hate".
I just wish i had someone like you, especially throughout the times when it was very on and off. But as i say, i wouldnt be very happy with you!! I would think you were being nasty and i would have said that you didnt understand him or know him the way i did.... But you are correct in everything you have said.
*EDIT TO ADD*
i am diagnosed as having BPD, and Bipolar 2. If people are not sure, but BPD causes us to get totally obsessed with things/people, we have a 'favourite person' that is the object of our obsessions, and we feel emotions much stronger than people who do not have BPD. That includes both good and negative emotions. The
bleep who broke my heart was my 'favourite person', and i would have died for him at the time.
The best way to describe the emotions that i, along with other people with BPD is something that can make someone feel sad but they are able to go about their day. But for me, it feels like im going to die and i can see no way out, or life without someone. We are unable to really regulate our emotions and we are very extreme and can fluctuate from feeling on top of the world to feeling the worst heartbreak in the blink of an eye.
What im trying to say is if i was able to move forward and get over the
bleep who broke my heart, there is hope for everyone else to move on and live a happy and fulfilling life.