Heartbreak.

[gigi_93]

I just recently got dumped by my partner who I’ve been with for 4 years. Somebody on another thread gave me the idea of starting this one to vent and let it all out, and also invite anyone else to do the same if they’re going through a breakup, or just to share stories of older breakups and heartbreak.

My story: long distance relationship, him in Florida and me here in the UK. I’ve been flying over regularly for the past 4 years, I’m close with his family and practically a step mum to his 3 children. Love of my life etc...then the pandemic hit and borders closed. I haven’t been allowed into the US since March 2020, last time I saw him was just before that. I fully believe partner exemptions should have been allowed with testing and quarantine and I wouldn’t be in this mess but that’s another rant.

We held on and held on with FaceTime etc, then we decided I’d go via a third country (Mexico) and he would pay, but my flight was cancelled, and when I went to rebook it he completely unexpectedly told me not to bother and that he was done with our relationship. It hit me like a freight train, there’d been no signs this was coming at all. In fact he told me he loved me and missed me just hours before. I tried to reason with him and then he decided to block me on everything which was another huge blow. I feel like my world has ended, I haven’t eaten or slept since. My life was there with him and he’s taken it away and I don’t know what to do.

Sorry that was so long. Please feel free to share your stories and any advice for this absolute hell I feel right now

 

[Miss98]

Really sorry you're going through this right now. It seems odd he gave up so easily and seemed to snap and dumped you. Is there any possibility that he's entertaining another/other women all this time? He could get away with a lot so far away. It could also be bad stress and he's realised the difficulties of a long distance relationship during Covid, but no excuse - he could have been more patient. Especially when partners of military and other workers go months without seeing their partner and this day and age with Zoom and other social media. If he's gonna fly off the handle like this and snap and dump you when you're making effort to see him, maybe you need to question if he is worth your time to behave like this. Lockdown and restrictions have been tough on everyone including you, not only him.

 

[gigi_93]

Really sorry you're going through this right now. It seems odd he gave up so easily and seemed to snap and dumped you. Is there any possibility that he's entertaining another/other women all this time? He could get away with a lot so far away. It could also be bad stress and he's realised the difficulties of a long distance relationship during Covid, but no excuse - he could have been more patient. Especially when partners of military and other workers go months without seeing their partner and this day and age with Zoom and other social media. If he's gonna fly off the handle like this and snap and dump you when you're making effort to see him, maybe you need to question if he is worth your time to behave like this. Lockdown and restrictions have been tough on everyone including you, not only him.

I did wonder if he had met someone else, I outright asked him and he said no, he’s just emotionally at his wit’s end. I do believe him because despite what is happening I don’t think he’s a liar. Plus there’s been no gaps in our communication (we FaceTime every night) and he works 50-60 hour weeks and has shared custody of his kids. I’m thinking maybe he’s just stressed but I honestly don’t know.

You’re right that he could have been more patient. I was, so I don’t know why he can’t be. It’s so hard to see him in a bad light for some reason :/

 

[Miss98]

I did wonder if he had met someone else, I outright asked him and he said no, he’s just emotionally at his wit’s end. I do believe him because despite what is happening I don’t think he’s a liar. Plus there’s been no gaps in our communication (we FaceTime every night) and he works 50-60 hour weeks and has shared custody of his kids. I’m thinking maybe he’s just stressed but I honestly don’t know.

You’re right that he could have been more patient. I was, so I don’t know why he can’t be. It’s so hard to see him in a bad light for some reason :/

In that case it could well be just stress and no women are involved, just the way he cut you off like that was strange and very ubrupt seeming. It's quite likely he'll come running back in a relationship sense at some point, especially if one of his children keep asking about you and the more time he has without you and to think he may regret how he went about things. I feel for you as he lives very far away so you must probably still be worrying and wondering what he's upto. I think he's been quite selfish about this and to give you no real answers but still is video calling you like nothing happened and speaking a lot to you is probably confusing you isn't it? Perhaps deep down he regrets the way he acted but because the lockdown's still going on and all the stress he's under with it he hasn't spoke much on it yet. I definitely wouldn't keep your life on hold though for him after behaving like that after 4 years.

 

[Pinkblush]

Sorry to hear you're going through such a horrendous time. How recent was it? It might be that his actions are a knee jerk reaction to the stress of something going in his end and once he calms down he'll see the error of his ways and get back in touch. Especially as he told you just hours before he loved and missed you. I don't see there being someone else as we're all in quarrantine. The abruptness of it tells me it isn't anything you did but something his end has made him snap.

 

[Papparazzo]

Gigi I've come over from the truffalo thread.

I didn't comment on there but I am in the throws too. My engagement ended 3 weeks ago now and I am in that tit stage of not being able to sleep, dreaming every bleeping night about him and just adjusting to what feels like a death. Speaking every day, seeing that person every single day to nothing, no contact, nothing, is life altering.

It's awful but time will heal I am sure.

 

[gigi_93]

In that case it could well be just stress and no women are involved, just the way he cut you off like that was strange and very ubrupt seeming. It's quite likely he'll come running back in a relationship sense at some point, especially if one of his children keep asking about you and the more time he has without you and to think he may regret how he went about things. I feel for you as he lives very far away so you must probably still be worrying and wondering what he's upto. I think he's been quite selfish about this and to give you no real answers but still is video calling you like nothing happened and speaking a lot to you is probably confusing you isn't it? Perhaps deep down he regrets the way he acted but because the lockdown's still going on and all the stress he's under with it he hasn't spoke much on it yet. I definitely wouldn't keep your life on hold though for him after behaving like that after 4 years.

He isn’t speaking to me now, he’s ghosted me. Apparently me asking for answers was too much for him. The abruptness is definitely strange, usually there are signs before a breakup happens. I feel like I want him to crawl back but I know that’s just because it’s raw at the moment. :/ thank you for your responses

Sorry to hear you're going through such a horrendous time. How recent was it? It might be that his actions are a knee jerk reaction to the stress of something going in his end and once he calms down he'll see the error of his ways and get back in touch. Especially as he told you just hours before he loved and missed you. I don't see there being someone else as we're all in quarrantine. The abruptness of it tells me it isn't anything you did but something his end has made him snap.

He dumped me just over 2 weeks ago, but we were talking a little back and forth until he blocked me 2 days ago. I’m really hoping he comes back, if only to explain his actions, but he’s very stubborn. He isn’t in quarantine as he’s in Florida where they have no restrictions, though he has to be careful because of work and the kids

 

[Lovethesun]

It will ladies time will heal I promise . Curveball with my story though now , after 2 months of zero contact , nothing at all over Xmas or anything , bearing in mind he ended it 3 weeks before Xmas . Just as I’m feeling “over” him in lots of ways , as in my appetite has come back & im sleeping again much better & not thinking about him 24/7 . He messaged me on Facebook , I literally felt sick , my heart raced , it’s like they have a radar & pop back up when they know you’ll be feeling ok . My theory is he did have someone else & that’s gone tits up so he wants me back . No way though as all the lovely ladies on these threads made me wonder what I saw in him in the first place as our relationship was problematic.
Maybe just try In time to look at it as a blessing & you will hopefully meet someone closer to home x

 

[gigi_93]

Gigi I've come over from the truffalo thread.

I didn't comment on there but I am in the throws too. My engagement ended 3 weeks ago now and I am in that tit stage of not being able to sleep, dreaming every bleeping night about him and just adjusting to what feels like a death. Speaking every day, seeing that person every single day to nothing, no contact, nothing, is life altering.

It's awful but time will heal I am sure.

I’m so sorry You hit the nail on the head, it feels like a bereavement doesn’t it? Just full on grief. I wasn’t “officially” engaged but we were going to get married when I finally got back to the US. We nearly got married the last time I was there and the regret of not doing is is killing me. You’re right, it’s life altering. I keep picking up my phone expecting to see a message from him. Sending you lots of love

 

[Lovethesun]

I also think men run away from their problems , so he finds it easier to block you & not face up to what’s happening . Rather than explain himself & open up . Men are cowards

 

[gigi_93]

It will ladies time will heal I promise . Curveball with my story though now , after 2 months of zero contact , nothing at all over Xmas or anything , bearing in mind he ended it 3 weeks before Xmas . Just as I’m feeling “over” him in lots of ways , as in my appetite has come back & im sleeping again much better & not thinking about him 24/7 . He messaged me on Facebook , I literally felt sick , my heart raced , it’s like they have a radar & pop back up when they know you’ll be feeling ok . My theory is he did have someone else & that’s gone tits up so he wants me back . No way though as all the lovely ladies on these threads made me wonder what I saw in him in the first place as our relationship was problematic.
Maybe just try In time to look at it as a blessing & you will hopefully meet someone closer to home x

Oh god, that is awful. They truly do have a radar. Although right now I still want him to crawl back, I know how unhealthy thinking like that is. Good on you for not having him back. I can only hope I am that strong if mine decides to get in contact after a while

 

[Papparazzo]

I’m so sorry You hit the nail on the head, it feels like a bereavement doesn’t it? Just full on grief. I wasn’t “officially” engaged but we were going to get married when I finally got back to the US. We nearly got married the last time I was there and the regret of not doing is is killing me. You’re right, it’s life altering. I keep picking up my phone expecting to see a message from him. Sending you lots of love

Same to you lovely. You know what if he can dump.you so abruptly maybe it's a blessing you didn't get married. Imagine trying to sort a divorce from a different country! When lockdown ends let's go an get pissed in town, deal? Haha.

 

[gigi_93]

Same to you lovely. You know what if he can dump.you so abruptly maybe it's a blessing you didn't get married. Imagine trying to sort a divorce from a different country! When lockdown ends let's go an get pissed in town, deal? Haha.

If we had been married I’d have been exempt from the travel bans and could have travelled there freely, so I don’t think I would be in this mess now. But who knows, he may still have dumped me I suppose, but in my heart I don’t feel that he would have. He never gave me a chance to find out what’s going on in his head. Absolutely up for getting pissed in town though, I’d be there face down in a gutter right now if not for lockdown!!

 

[Papparazzo]

If we had been married I’d have been exempt from the travel bans and could have travelled there freely, so I don’t think I would be in this mess now. But who knows, he may still have dumped me I suppose, but in my heart I don’t feel that he would have. He never gave me a chance to find out what’s going on in his head. Absolutely up for getting pissed in town though, I’d be there face down in a gutter right now if not for lockdown!!

Ahhh I see what you mean. I'm the same, instead I'm enduring sitting in the house thinking this is not how i wanted to respond to a break up! I need wine, a good mate to chat tit too and a busy bar!

 

[gigi_93]

Ahhh I see what you mean. I'm the same, instead I'm enduring sitting in the house thinking this is not how i wanted to respond to a break up! I need wine, a good mate to chat tit too and a busy bar!

Its literally the worst time to go through a breakup. Even worse is he can do whatever he likes as Florida has no restrictions. For two weeks I’ve watched him go about his life on social media like nothing has happened and I don’t exist! :/ Did you get given a reason by him for doing it to you?

also has anyone got any tips to stop yourself stalking the tit out of their social media?? He may have blocked me but I can still see from a browser. I feel unhinged

 

[HarJR289]

Hellooooo

I’ve just popped over from Truffs thread too

4 weeks out of a 4 year relationship for me. Came out of nowhere. He was supposed to be moving in with me the day he decided he wasn’t happy and I came home from work to the bits he had at my house gone. Not heard from him since. 4 years ended like that. I feel sad all the time, can’t sleep well, feel like I’ll never be happy again. Trying to do what I can to keep my mind busy. I really miss him, but for him to end it how he has I feel like I don’t know who he was anyway. If he didn’t want to move in all he had to do was say we could’ve had a mutual, respectful ending, didn’t have to lie and lead me on and let me down the apparent day he was moving in.

 

[Lovethesun]

Its literally the worst time to go through a breakup. Even worse is he can do whatever he likes as Florida has no restrictions. For two weeks I’ve watched him go about his life on social media like nothing has happened and I don’t exist! :/ Did you get given a reason by him for doing it to you?

also has anyone got any tips to stop yourself stalking the tit out of their social media?? He may have blocked me but I can still see from a browser. I feel unhinged

Block them , this is what I did . The thought of a picture of him popping up with a new girl made me feel physically sick . I also made a new Facebook as I had so many of his family on my old account I just wanted to start a fresh . It’s my new Facebook which I hardly went on that he messaged me on . But just block to stop yourself looking , you’ll only hurt yourself checking on him . I blocked his Instagram & Facebook & deleted his phone number immediately so I wasn’t tempted to message him . My kind of way of coping is deleting everything , pictures the lot to kind of pretend they don’t exist or the memory doesn’t exist . But I get this doesn’t work for everyone . I absolutely hated my ex once he’d left so I didn’t want to cry over pictures anyway

 

[HarJR289]

Block them , this is what I did . The thought of a picture of him popping up with a new girl made me feel physically sick

^ this. I think I still have my ex on Facebook but I deleted it just cos I can’t bare the thought of seeing someone comment on his pics, posts or even the in a relationship status! It literally makes me feel ill. My mum said “oh your dads got him on Facebook so I’ll have a look to see he’s posted anything.” I said please don’t I really don’t want to know and I can’t bare the thought of you seeing something and having to hide it from me or feeling like you have tell me to let me down gently. I’d rather just assume the worse (he’s got married and madly in love or something) and cope that way than instead of being told anything.

 

[Lovethesun]

^ this. I think I still have my ex on Facebook but I deleted it just cos I can’t bare the thought of seeing someone comment on his pics, posts or even the in a relationship status! It literally makes me feel ill. My mum said “oh your dads got him on Facebook so I’ll have a look to see he’s posted anything.” I said please don’t I really don’t want to know and I can’t bare the thought of you seeing something and having to hide it from me or feeling like you have tell me to let me down gently. I’d rather just assume the worse (he’s got married and madly in love or something) and cope that way than instead of being told anything.

yea my friend still follows my ex on Instagram & I said to her if she ever sees anything of him with another girl just don’t tell me . I said as much as you’d want too I just don’t want to know

 

[gigi_93]

I deleted all my social media after he blocked me. I felt a weird sense of shame in being blocked, so I just deleted everything. Trying really hard not to look from a browser though, despite knowing how I’ll feel if I see him moving on in any sense. I feel so so pathetic! He didn’t let me get any closure. I’m wondering constantly what he has told the kids wish I could hate him!