her work consists of choosing colours and picking her favourite influencers to gift stuff to..? Also hates toxic productivity but goes to the gym every morning (makes excuses if she doesn't, can never just be a rest day), and never includes a lunch hour.Everytime she doesn’t wake up at 6 she has to haircut why she’s up at 8 lol we don’t care. View attachment 1014949
And only listens to podcasts about businessher work consists of choosing colours and picking her favourite influencers to gift stuff to..? Also hates toxic productivity but goes to the gym every morning (makes excuses if she doesn't, can never just be a rest day), and never includes a lunch hour.
Great post. Nice one.I feel like this discussion has been had before. I don’t think it’s fair to presume someone is fetishising a race because they are dating someone of that race. In itself, the person presuming that surely is the one fetishising by reducing it to that?
however, I am not dismissing it or denying that it happens and I have a feeling Grace is prone to it based on previous comments.
to me, fetishising , amongst other things = saying you “only date X”, laughing and joking along with stereotypes about that race including making them yourself or not correcting someone else when they do the same, and so on. (I’m sure you know the ones I mean but I don’t want to type them).
I can only speak from my own experience and there’s a lot more that can be said on it.
You're incredible and frankly Grez wouldn't make it til midday in your job. Thank you for everything you do <3I would love to message my daily schedule (I work in emergency services) to her but feel like I would get immediately blocked because no-one else can possibly have it harder than Grez.
6am - wake up!!! No time or effort for exercise as I finished 4 hours late the evening before.
7am - get in my shit car and drive an hour in traffic to work because we can’t all move from coffee shop to coffee shop everyday ‘block tasking’ (idk what block tasking means).
8am - ???? Wrestle someone off a bridge, probs get spat at, don’t get to eat lunch/buy lunch and let it get cold as I’ve had to do something more important, probably end the day by seeing something horrific.
5pm - still at work as I’m off late and there’s not enough staff
8pm - eventually make it home. Only 2 hours off late today! Get a 99p cheeseburger from Maccies and immediately go to bed. Dread doing it allll again tomorrow.
still not as hard as Grez works tho
So what she’s skipped lunch?Everytime she doesn’t wake up at 6 she has to haircut why she’s up at 8 lol we don’t care. View attachment 1014949
using the term “a fetish” is very different to fetishisation esp racial fetishisation and actually quite reductive of this issue and unhelpful in this conv. i beg you spend just 5 minutes reading about this just to broaden your understanding. our good sis @DietGossip has made some stunning recommendations and there are of course the voices of several Black people/Ppl of color in this thread who are sharing experiences which could aid your learningthere’s a difference between finding something attractive and having a fetish.. i find men with beards more attractive but it’s obviously not a fetish. am i discriminating against men without beards? is this fetishisation of beards?? make it make sense, we all have preferences. people can prefer lighter/darker skin tones, hair colours or literally anything without it being a fetish. just because you find something attractive doesn’t mean you’re ‘making someone the object of sexual desire based on that one aspect of their identity’
using the term “a fetish” is very different to fetishisation esp racial fetishisation and actually quite reductive of this issue and unhelpful in this conv. i beg you spend just 5 minutes reading about this just to broaden your understanding. our good sis @DietGossip has made some stunning recommendations and there are of course the voices of several Black people/Ppl of color in this thread we are sharing experiences which could aid your learningthere’s a difference between finding something attractive and having a fetish.. i find men with beards more attractive but it’s obviously not a fetish. am i discriminating against men without beards? is this fetishisation of beards?? make it make sense, we all have preferences. people can prefer lighter/darker skin tones, hair colours or literally anything without it being a fetish. just because you find something attractive doesn’t mean you’re ‘making someone the object of sexual desire based on that one aspect of their identity’
Can vouch for her trying really hard to be friends with one black girl in particular. Was weird considering she ignored pretty much everyone elseThese are claims from someone who went to oxford at the same time that she was there, make of them what you will
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idk if this might be deleted for derailingGenuine question
When does fetish of skin colour become non-racial but a general wrong from all different races/ethnic groups?
I have a white friend that will only date white men, 2 *Coloured* friends, one only wants to date Korean or Chinese men, and the other only wants to date white men and an Indian friend who only wants to date Indian and white men.
*please note where I am from the term "Coloured" is not racist as it is an official ethnic group, you can look up "Cape Coloured". Spelt without the "u" then that would be a term mostly used in the UK and USA by racist people.
I can understand that historically POC were taken advantage of in appalling manners and that still currently has an effect on how POC view themselves, how white people view POC or how white people think they can view POC.
At the same time other racial/ethnic groups also have a fetish for different races/ethnic groups.
Same as with hair
Years and years of racism towards POC hair made woman feel shameful and westernized their hair to fit in to the workplace etc.
Again I understand this still has a current effect even though there is awareness of self love and POC pride.
At the same time that is happening you walk into the shops and your shampoo bottle shames everyone's hair outright
Thin flat hair needs volume
Hair with volume needs taming
No one should have frizz.
Curls should be defined.
It's like saying there is something wrong with everyones hair and everyone needs to fix it and not embrace their natural form. The amount of hairdressers telling me to cut my split ends and stop straightening my hair because it's damaged even though it's just the natural state of my hair to be super frizzy.
When do these issues group together to be problematic for all races.
Is it offensive to group POC issues to issues that are currently the same for other races because of the historical atrocities associated? Or what would be wrong with grouping these issues?
I'm normally too scared to ask questions because I seriously don't want to offend anyone but I can't learn without asking. And also keen to be guided to asking questions the right way etc.
Also understand it's not anyones responsiblity to answer my questions and help guide me so just to say up front that I do really appreciate any feedback.
It bore repeating. Drink up!sorry must be drunk sent that twice by accident
We missed you!!Can vouch for her trying really hard to be friends with one black girl in particular. Was weird considering she ignored pretty much everyone else
You are amazingI would love to message my daily schedule (I work in emergency services) to her but feel like I would get immediately blocked because no-one else can possibly have it harder than Grez.
6am - wake up!!! No time or effort for exercise as I finished 4 hours late the evening before.
7am - get in my shit car and drive an hour in traffic to work because we can’t all move from coffee shop to coffee shop everyday ‘block tasking’ (idk what block tasking means).
8am - ???? Wrestle someone off a bridge, probs get spat at, don’t get to eat lunch/buy lunch and let it get cold as I’ve had to do something more important, probably end the day by seeing something horrific.
5pm - still at work as I’m off late and there’s not enough staff
8pm - eventually make it home. Only 2 hours off late today! Get a 99p cheeseburger from Maccies and immediately go to bed. Dread doing it allll again tomorrow.
still not as hard as Grez works tho
Amazing how today she’s up at 6Everytime she doesn’t wake up at 6 she has to haircut why she’s up at 8 lol we don’t care. View attachment 1014949
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