sorry but having a preference isn’t fetishisation? if she wants to date black/mixed guys so what? don’t make it more dramatic than it needs to be
Grace Beverley #18 Jeffrey Grezos: Flying all over for some French baguette, ignoring Ziggy lest we forget
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look up fetishisation of Black men, scroll through the threads where this is discussed at length previously, look at graces friend group which IS ALL WHITE then come back with your wayward behaviour
People who have known her irl have literally said she behaves incredibly strangely around black people in general…
I agree, not everything is some kind of attack on others. If she didn't date black guys that would also be an issue. If that's who she finds attractive then so be it. What about men wanting to date petite women or women wanting to date tall guys, is that fetishisation of height or size
the literal definition of fetishisation is to make someone an object of sexual desire based on one aspect of their identity. so to answer your question, yes it is tho obviously less problematic than racial fetishisation
"is it flattering?"
"of course"
"is the promo post written in all lowercase letters?"
"...yeah"
"alright approved"
*in lowercase with at least one careless mistake
there’s a difference between finding something attractive and having a fetish.. i find men with beards more attractive but it’s obviously not a fetish. am i discriminating against men without beards? is this fetishisation of beards?? make it make sense, we all have preferences. people can prefer lighter/darker skin tones, hair colours or literally anything without it being a fetish. just because you find something attractive doesn’t mean you’re ‘making someone the object of sexual desire based on that one aspect of their identity’
If you want to learn more about the fetishisation of Black bodies, I'd recommend reading bell hook's "Ain't I A Woman". Scott Poulson-Bryant has written a book on race, sex and power with a focus on Black men's depictions in Hollywood and pornography, and Ben Carrington has written on the Black male body and sport.
What does that have to do with someone just finding someone attractive
to add, I’ve found an article that explains the difference between preferences/attraction and fetishisation (it’s regarding queer relationships but I chose it because the site is owned by queer/trans people of colour rather than a Metro article):
We don’t know the ins and outs of Grace’s relationship but regardless, preferring someone because of their race is not the same as ‘having a beard’. People aren’t generalised, oppressed and marginalised purely on the basis of whether they have a beard or not. The article explains this and also talks about patterns of behaviour that can suggest that fetishisation is happening and includes questioning that helps people consider whether they are doing this.
Whether people consider having a particular ‘preference’ is an issue or not, it can still be fetishisation.
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Where is the line drawn between favouring something and fetishizing it? If someone just isn't attracted to something (not just skin colour but also height, size whatever) then that's something they have little control over. We like what we like. If were attracted to a person solely for the reason of them being black, tall, skinny whatever while disregarding any other thing about them, then imo only then would I consider it to be a fetish. And also on a sidenote: my husband is black. I'm white. The amount of times I've had black women treat me like tit just because "I am stealing a black man from them" baffles me (he was the first black man I've ever been with btw). Wouldn't them ruling out anything else than a black man make them "fetishize" black men themselves? I'm not a POC, so I can't speak for them, but I can only say what my husband says to me when stuff like this comes up: "I simply like white girls and noone is stealing me. I alone chose what I like and what I find attractive and what I find attractive is you and your pasty ass" lol. We as a society should be a lot more aware of calling people Stuff like Fetishists or something like that. Not everything is just black and white. Not everything is a reason to criticize others. Simeone preferring something is no ones business than their own. I fully trust every strong, smart and self aware person to realize if someone is interested in them or their features. But what do I know. I acknowledge there's an issue there l, but I don't necessarily agree with people just deciding that that is what's a fact and nothing else is also possible.
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it 100% is a fetish is you only date people who have a beard. Fetishisation of black people is racism, it is reducing them down to their features rather than them as a person. It is not a compliment when someone says I like “black men/women”.
“The psychological impact of being desired or sexualised because of your ethnicity is multifaceted, Being racially reduced to a sexualised object can negatively impact a person’s sense of personal safety, their sense of self, self-esteem and self-worth. It can be demeaning and infuriating not to be seen as a real person who is multidimensional and who has lots of different things to offer a potential partner. To know that in a sexual or relational context, your social currency is not who you are, but which racial group you belong to, is also devastating, disappointing and humiliating”
I still need to educate myself further on the fetishisation of black people, most importantly from a poc viewpoint so I'm reluctant to listen to opinions from white or racially anonymous viewpoints on here.
However think there is something to be said that all three of her relationships have been with black/mixed race men, and also at one point had an obsession with her sister's boyfriend who was a person of colour. Correct me if I'm wrong but she's not got any black friends or employees that we've seen.
However think there is something to be said that all three of her relationships have been with black/mixed race men, and also at one point had an obsession with her sister's boyfriend who was a person of colour. Correct me if I'm wrong but she's not got any black friends or employees that we've seen.
It's like this talk about fetishisation completely ignores the fact that people of different races look different and those of the same race have common features that others can find attractive/not attractive and it doesn't have to have any conscious or subconscious stereotyping. Sorry but reading these articles linked above I don't see a difference between that and being attracted to anyone based on their looks.
This last article, yes if someone is dating eg a black man because they have the preconception every black man has a big dick or has certain nature, or all Asians are submissive or whatever then that makes more sense and doesn't sound right but I don't think we can make a judgement on Grace, just because she had a few boyfriends that are black.
This last article, yes if someone is dating eg a black man because they have the preconception every black man has a big dick or has certain nature, or all Asians are submissive or whatever then that makes more sense and doesn't sound right but I don't think we can make a judgement on Grace, just because she had a few boyfriends that are black.
"100% a fetish",no, it's being attracted to something. Very much doubt you have an actual fetish if you say that
These are claims from someone who went to oxford at the same time that she was there, make of them what you will
The viewpoint of the poster @DietGossip (race unknown) clearly originates in the books they recommended by three POC authors.
I feel like this discussion has been had before. I don’t think it’s fair to presume someone is fetishising a race because they are dating someone of that race. In itself, the person presuming that surely is the one fetishising by reducing it to that?
however, I am not dismissing it or denying that it happens and I have a feeling Grace is prone to it based on previous comments.
to me, fetishising , amongst other things = saying you “only date X”, laughing and joking along with stereotypes about that race including making them yourself or not correcting someone else when they do the same, and so on. (I’m sure you know the ones I mean but I don’t want to type them).
I can only speak from my own experience and there’s a lot more that can be said on it.
however, I am not dismissing it or denying that it happens and I have a feeling Grace is prone to it based on previous comments.
to me, fetishising , amongst other things = saying you “only date X”, laughing and joking along with stereotypes about that race including making them yourself or not correcting someone else when they do the same, and so on. (I’m sure you know the ones I mean but I don’t want to type them).
I can only speak from my own experience and there’s a lot more that can be said on it.
if you have a “preference“ it’s you prefer apples over oranges but doesn’t mean that you won’t ever eat oranges. You actively seeking to only date black and mixed men but turning ur nose up at white men is very
. that’s just an analogy - think grace’s ex was white so I don’t really think she has a fetish but it’s really weird to just date one race of people and say it’s a “preference” it’s a fetish. You ask that person why they’re only dating black people and they’ll give all types of excuses and BS. When it probably just comes down to wanting cute mixed babies or being a BBC lover.source: being fetishised bc I’m black <3
Everytime she doesn’t wake up at 6 she has to haircut why she’s up at 8 lol we don’t care.
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