Sometimes I feel like both sides of the gender discussion are so separated and far apart that any valid points get lost in the middle.
One of my oldest friends transitioned about 10 years ago now, it took some time to get used to new name and pronouns but she was very relaxed about mistakes and we got used to it quickly. Her family were a bit shocked but went along with it all. And now she seems so much happier and more confident, she has a boyfriend who didn't realise she was trans until she sat him down before their first date, she just lives her life and we talk about the same things and do the same stuff as before, she hasn't changed her personality, she doesn't post about it endlessly on SM, she just gets on with things. She didn't really know what her sexuality was at all until her boyfriend asked her out and she thought she'd give it a try, previous to transition she'd never really dated anyone at all.
I do find it hard that people would want her to use men's toilets, acquaintances and colleagues etc don't even know that she's transitioned as she passes very well. She's not performative in how she presents, I'd say similar to me in that sometimes she dresses up a bit and other times she'll be in comfy trousers and a hoodie!
But she started transitioning at 21, nearly 10 years ago now, and things definitely seem to have changed a lot since then. It feels like now the debate has become so heated on both sides there's no room for meeting in the middle to discuss genuinely difficult situations like what to do with teenagers. I don't think there's any easy answers at all, but I look at my friend and don't see any of what some GC people accuse trans people of being, just a person who was struggling and now isn't. I'm not saying there aren't issues in the trans community (especially online!), I just think it can be easy to assume everyone trans is like the people we see on social media!
Me and her often say that there's weirdos in any group of people you chose and it seems in the trans debate these are the people with most visibility!
Oppression:
Exercise of authority and regimes which are forced onto people (in this case women) to their detriment, where if they don't obey said oppressive regimes there are real world consequences.
Trans Ideology:
Well placed men, who have worked behind the scenes with the people in power to have anti women legislation and policies brought in silently, via government, local government, schools, prisons, hospitals, large organisations et al (thanks Stonewall), without question, discussion with women or, women's groups. These new laws (2004 GRA & 2010 Equality Act, 2010 Annex B) - it was decided that although there were indeed risk to women, women were acceptable collateral damage to appease TRA's. This opened up women's spaces and womanhood to males who identified as women. If women speak out (JK Rowling, Helen Staniland, Helen Joyce, Kathleen Stock, plus 1000's more) they lose their jobs, get cancelled and abused, sent death threats etc - IE real life consequences. = Oppression.
What people didn't and still don't realise was that these essentially were self ID laws. They just need to fill in a simple form for the passport and DVLA offices and bang - the are women. Anyone can say they are a woman and be placed on a NHS hospital ward (Annex B) this has happened several times one notable case in 2021, where a woman was told she couldn't have been raped because her attacker said he was a woman, the man has now been convicted of rape but it was preventable. These men give intimate care to children and the elderly as women, they are sleeping in women's housing in prisons, they are rife on NHS hospital wards (there are staff pleading with the NHS to repeal Annex B!) without question, women's spaces are now mixed sex, they take our jobs (But not our lower salaries) our school scholarships, they want our sports, our language and the removal of 'woman' as a sex class. We are silenced, dismissed and ignored.
It's wrong. You cannot change your sex and society should not be forced to play along with their demands. It is a lie.
If the governments want to allow trans people to lie and make a mockery of legal documents and change statements of fact (birth certs) then they must do it for everybody. Stronger checks and balances must be brought in and third spaces for trans people to.
Under no circumstances should women have ever been put in this position.
I also know a trans identified male who has had the full surgery etc over 10 years ago, I was very supportive initially - but he is a man and he knows that more than anyone. He works for the RAC and has an unsurmountable time off, usually for hangovers which he calls dysphoria. The RAC can't get rid of him because trans is a legal minefield and he would take them to court and probably win - just because he's trans. (But I'm sure they'd love to). He is very manipulative and loves the fear women feel if they don't play along.
. I thought ‘here we go’
