Selfishly I'm glad of this second lockdown as it means my husband will still get 80% wages on Furlough
![Pensive face :pensive: 😔](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f614.png)
please don't think bad of me, I have friends who have their own businesses and are having to close, again, and I'm devastated for them
![Sleepy face :sleepy: 😪](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f62a.png)
but we are seriously struggling right now (I know a lot of people are), I work in a secondary school part time and it's no where near enough to cover even half of our bills so the extended furlough is a massive help! My middle son, our rainbow baby
![Blue heart :blue_heart: 💙](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f499.png)
![Rainbow :rainbow: 🌈](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f308.png)
named Grayson (I fear I gave Fopps the idea of this name
![Neutral face :neutral_face: 😐](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f610.png)
) is 4 in November and we had only planned to go to a farm and have a T party at home but looks like we can't even do that now
![Sleepy face :sleepy: 😪](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f62a.png)
I'd booked a trip to see Father Christmas at a garden centre and that has been cancelled, my 3 boys are devastated
![Broken heart :broken_heart: 💔](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f494.png)
my middle son's nursery class has had a positive Covid19 result and although my son wasn't there at the time he's having to stay off as not enough staff
![Pensive face :pensive: 😔](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f614.png)
my husband has applied to be a Postman and we're desperately waiting for an email to say he'd got an interview
![Folded hands: light skin tone :pray_tone1: 🙏🏻](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f64f-1f3fb.png)
anyway I don't know why I'm posting all this except I feel I'm amongst friends here and I just needed to tell someone I'm not ok right now
![Frowning face :frowning2: ☹](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/2639.png)
but I will be! I feel better just for posting