Food & Drink #5 Sit the feck down, I need to see the fecking bread cart!

[heretoreaditall2019]

I had my third baby just before a heatwave. I spent about 4 weeks just breastfeeding and wearing giant tena pants (easier at the beginning than pads), half naked, eating Hagen Dazs with wet muslins draped over me. Everyone was fed, the house was pretty clean, but that was it. It was good in a way because there was no pressure nor compulsion to actually do much. Except eat. And watch telly. I’m front of a fan. My first two I was running around like a headless chicken as soon as I was home. No good for anyone.

Spoiler: Discussion of blood - not gory but appreciate ppl wanna eat x

Omg the pads is definitely not something they adequately warn you about is it!! I packed night time body form and some paper disposable knickers with the constitution of rizla from JoJo Maman Bébé That first loo trip was such a shocker when I saw it I nearly fainted and had to pull the alarm cord for help as I had naively thought I’d be able to collect that toilet trip as a urine sample and soon realised I was really out of my depth / in need of a crime scene clean up tbh, in that moment I truly became Ed.

God catching up with JM and lordy, am glad I’ve not been active to be called a hateful wench (again, for the third odd time )

Well my goss was a friend’s friend. She met him at an event and he was coming onto her all night, they went back to hers when she then said she didn’t want anything to happen. She Was woken up the next day by the bed being shaken violently and it was HFW sitting at the end of the bed staring at her and wanking furiously!

I’ve also heard rumours like this - I swear the one I heard had something to do with him stroking someone’s hair and being weird?

I always always always believe stuff like this, there’s no smoke without fire sorry Women risk so much speaking up they don’t do it for fun do they. I don’t want to triangulate myself too much but when working in ~media there was a renowned perv that was allowed to behave like that cos of his massive industry clout. There were a few big incidents he got away with unscathed, it was always an unspoken known, I mean fgs the clueless young men I worked with knew to rescue you when this guy had cornered you at an event / a visit to the office! Anyway fast forward to covid & I’m watching a documentary about a sex offender celeb of yesteryear and there’s a bit of TV footage from the 90s and it’s this bleeping bloke defending the accused of the allegations and excusing the predator!!! It wasn’t even a popular opinion at the time as the other guests on the panel looked thoroughly uncomfortable too! Honestly I know innocent til proven guilty but I’m all for the reverse when it comes to creepy blokes

 

[Marj24]

It's going to be another scorcher where I reside (a small city in the southest of NW England)

I have a (100%) Maine Coon. Have many photos on my phone but sadly can't work out how to share here so will put this image here

this is nearly him but he does have a white nose. Anyways, he has realised in this heat I have an oscillating fan on me and so is continually clambering on my not so much lap but side. I use the sofa like a chaise lounges and I wear the cat from boobs to knee. An 18lb cat does not help you stay cool! Still adore him, will look to educating myself to how to insert a true image x

 

[Captainmouse]

Unfortunately this gorgeous boy is not mine, though I was very tempted to catnap him. A Norwegian forest

 

[Againagainagain]

Oh I’m very disappointed to hear about HFW, I actually always really liked him! Although, I do have appalling taste in men (husband excepted) so it stands to reason that I can’t sniff out a wrongun.
BF is my absolute nemesis. Had my first baby nearly 3 years ago, combo of flat nipples (that’s painful to type), sleepy baby, tongue tie and hideously unsupportive family meant I was expressing to bottle feed as he wouldn’t latch. Genuinely nearly finished me off. My mother in law couldn’t help herself but keep telling me about when she put rusks in OH bottle when he was 6 weeks. And obviously he was sleeping through from being 5 minutes old!
I’m pregnant again so she has started already...give me strength!!!
Breakfast today is fruit and yoghurt, closely followed by a crunch cream biscuit and Freddo. All things in moderation.

 

[Suprise!]

Hi there, just wanted to @Dustye - thats rubbish that people are making you feel weird for just wanting to nourish your baby. You just ignore them, it’s none of their sodding business. It makes me so mad that women are judged and belittled for every bloody thing, even something that’s a natural human function.

I have a lot of complex feelings about breastfeeding - I fed both of mine but what I would say is that the pressure I put on myself to do this massively affected my MH at the time. One of mine was early and was an absolutely terrible sleeper. For about a year I never got more than an hour and a half of sleep at a time and felt like I could barely function. I got PND but didn’t recognise it until I had another baby and then went to the GP. At the time my mum was telling to me to give my son a bottle so my husband could help but I was absolutely determined to do it myself, compounded by a lot of pressure from health visitors, midwives etc. to keep going. I had huge rows with my mum about it - she could probably see what a state I was in but I wouldn’t listen to her. I did it until he was 6 months until finally gave him a bottle and then could see that he only ever drank a tiny amount at a time. He’s exactly the same now as a teen, gets full up really quickly and is a huge grazer. Looking back I think it actually stopped me bonding with him properly and I have huge guilt about that. I just couldn’t bear him waking up all the time and knowing I’d have to feed him again .

Anyway, I just wanted to say that for me whatever way we manage to feed our kids is OK. In the end I was proud that I’d managed to breastfeed but I think there should be support out there for everyone and no pressure put on women to do things the right way. I feel the same about birth experiences too (CS vs natural delivery). Being a mum is hard enough without having to worry about other people’s expectations.

Anyway (again), hope I haven’t upset anyone, baby things just bring back a lot of memories and make me quite emotional. Sorry for the brain dump, love to all us new and older mums out there.

To lighten the mood I’ll just add that both my sons are now at the age of being hugely embarrassed/fascinated by naked flesh. If I happen to mention breastfeeding they flee the room, fingers in ears, at the horror of mum talking about and having boobs . Obviously they’d rather think that they just spawned like mushrooms and then went straight into a diet of Domino’s pizza.

Ps. Did my spoiler above work? So sorry if it didn’t

 

[Lornadoom]

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I was very lucky with my firstborn, lovely calm and patient midwife helping and advising, terribly anxious and panicky me, how to breastfeed and a very "competent" hungry new baby. The senior consultant, he was not as patient, told me I would have been a perfect wet nurse in the olden days as I had "too much" and to stop making a silly fuss. ETA That made me cry.

 

[Falkor]

Hopefully it's going to hold off another 36 hours, because my hay is getting spread today and baled tomorrow! Midge city up here at the moment, it's horrendous

Gaaaaaaaah, it rained No baling for me today. Supposed to be dry until Tuesday now, so getting it turned again tomorrow and then hopefully catch it for baling Sunday or Monday, depending on when he's free.

 

[GothPrincess]

Morning all.
I was unable to BF all of mine. With my eldest, I just thought babies were born and you put them to the breast & that was it. The reality was awful. Lead to awful PND. Unable to BF the others as well. I still feel awful about it now tbh. Especially as friends & family have BF with (apparent) ease.
Breakfast today has been coffee so far. Will have shredded wheat later.
I’m already hot. No storm here in Southend yet.
Lots of love to all, it’s like a lovely little family here, I feel x

 

[Flumps]

Rain about 3am here. I lay and listened to it for ages with my big bedroom window open. It was quite lovely.

Do any of you fraus have any book recommendations for me? I have some Audible credits burning a hole in my pocket. I like crime fiction, but the neatly crafted stuff for preference, generally seems that I like it more if written by a woman, or anything non-fiction that's funny or interesting. I burnt though the Adam Buxton book (natch) and Louis Theroux's memoir recently. Oh and Sex, Power, Money by Sara Pascoe, so things like that would be amazing.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

What do you guys all think about the latest GDP figures / our recession? It’s quite the feat we’ve managed both the worst health & economic performance in Europe (or the world?) isn’t it.

I had a rubbish first time breastfeeding. My first was born very early and poorly. A day after he was born some sort of breastfeeding expert was sent to my bed to help me express for him as he was in neonatal. She scolded me to stand up. Like a teacher telling me off. I got up and immediately went faint. Then she realised I’d had a c-section and said, “Why didn’t you say?” So I expressed sitting up the bed in the end and continued to express every 4 hours even once I came home. When he was two weeks old I mentioned that I wanted to breastfeed (he was tube fed with my breastmilk at the time) so they put him to me and he was struggling to latch. The matron came over and made a comment about my nipples then literally grabbed my boob and moved his head. It made me feel like a failure. She did it again the next time I tried feeding him too. I was happy for advice but I felt like they were just taking over without actually explaining anything to me so I never quite knew what I was meant to do. I felt a huge pressure to keep trying and in the end I burst into tears and told them I wanted to bottle feed instead. So that’s what I did after 6 weeks of trying and failing to breastfeed.

I bottle fed my second and probably will with this baby. Part of me thinks maybe I should give it a go as it’s my last baby and I’ll never have the chance to try again but then I just think about the first time and how I probably won’t be able to do it.

Had a similar experience with the c section constraints, it’s tit enough not being able to do things without feeling shamed for it too?! I don’t know why they don’t put it on your white board notes behind you! I had another patient on my ward make a crappy comment when she was crying about how if she’s hungry I should give her formula (!!), as if it’s not traumatic enough being bed bound just listening to my newborn cry?! I’m incredibly grateful she’s really lead our BF ~journey~ and taken to it so well, she just needed changing a few times that first night but obviously I couldn’t do that myself and the wards are SO understaffed at night my buzzer would go unregistered for ages. I gave up asking for my pain medication and just did breathing exercises I learnt from my stupid MC mums positive birthing classes. The night in a ward alone was by far the worst thing about covid and I spent a lot of it genuinely mourning how great it would have been with my husband there.

I’m about to start the expressing thing, a bit nervous as it’s not just come to me first time, which I’m aware is ridiculous. She’s currently asleep on my tummy, I want to wake her up for a feed but she’s too cute to disturb.

Rain about 3am here. I lay and listened to it for ages with my big bedroom window open. It was quite lovely.

Do any of you fraus have any book recommendations for me? I have some Audible credits burning a hole in my pocket. I like crime fiction, but the neatly crafted stuff for preference, generally seems that I like it more if written by a woman, or anything non-fiction that's funny or interesting. I burnt though the Adam Buxton book (natch) and Louis Theroux's memoir recently. Oh and Sex, Power, Money by Sara Pascoe, so things like that would be amazing.

I’m reading self care by someone stein and REALLY enjoying it, I’ve been meaning to mention it here! It’s fiction but it is so on point about social media / privilege / corporate feminism? It’s a very funny book and I’ve whizzed through it in my marathon feeds!

I’ve also downloaded inconvenient daughter, your house will pay, if I never met you, and devotion (you’d like this I think it’s crime-y ?).

 

[Captainmouse]

Sardines, what is everybody doing with sardines? Reports are sales up by 500%

 

[Lornadoom]

Rain about 3am here. I lay and listened to it for ages with my big bedroom window open. It was quite lovely.

Do any of you fraus have any book recommendations for me? I have some Audible credits burning a hole in my pocket. I like crime fiction, but the neatly crafted stuff for preference, generally seems that I like it more if written by a woman, or anything non-fiction that's funny or interesting. I burnt though the Adam Buxton book (natch) and Louis Theroux's memoir recently. Oh and Sex, Power, Money by Sara Pascoe, so things like that would be amazing.

Crime fiction, Elly Griffiths the Ruth Galloway series; fiction but really funny The Windfall by Diksha Basu, non fiction easy reading Bill Bryson.

 

[help i need some help!]

Rain about 3am here. I lay and listened to it for ages with my big bedroom window open. It was quite lovely.

Do any of you fraus have any book recommendations for me? I have some Audible credits burning a hole in my pocket. I like crime fiction, but the neatly crafted stuff for preference, generally seems that I like it more if written by a woman, or anything non-fiction that's funny or interesting. I burnt though the Adam Buxton book (natch) and Louis Theroux's memoir recently. Oh and Sex, Power, Money by Sara Pascoe, so things like that would be amazing.

Anything by Karen Maitland, a little bit of supernatural with a side of mystery. The Gallows Curse is the one I first read.

 

[Lornadoom]

Sardines, what is everybody doing with sardines? Reports are sales up by 500%

Making Mackies sardine "rillettes"?

 

[Harrybosch]

Rain about 3am here. I lay and listened to it for ages with my big bedroom window open. It was quite lovely.

Do any of you fraus have any book recommendations for me? I have some Audible credits burning a hole in my pocket. I like crime fiction, but the neatly crafted stuff for preference, generally seems that I like it more if written by a woman, or anything non-fiction that's funny or interesting. I burnt though the Adam Buxton book (natch) and Louis Theroux's memoir recently. Oh and Sex, Power, Money by Sara Pascoe, so things like that would be amazing.

Crime non-fiction, written by a woman, I'll be gone in the dark by Michelle McNamara. I thought it was great. She was a web sleuth who was obsessed with solving the Golden State Killer case.

Other non-fiction I enjoyed
Everybody lies by Seth Davidowitz (all about web searches and what it tells us about humanity)
First Bite by Bee Wilson (about how and why we eat what we eat, very non-judgemental, well-researched and not triggering)
Yellow Bird by Sierra Crane Murdoch (story of a native American woman investigating the mysterious disappearance of a man on a reservation)
Difficult Women by Helen Lewis (subtitle: A history of Feminism in 11 fights)

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Ok, I’m on it. Bleurgh.

That gif is me.

Ahhhh, the difficult breastfeeding stories make me so bleeping sad I am 100% behind women to decide how they want to feed their babies but I wish there was better support for people struggling with breastfeeding.

@Flumps have you read the Strike books by Robert Galbraith? Lovely easy going crime books set in the UK.

 

[Alansbigplate]

I had a rubbish first time breastfeeding. My first was born very early and poorly. A day after he was born some sort of breastfeeding expert was sent to my bed to help me express for him as he was in neonatal. She scolded me to stand up. Like a teacher telling me off. I got up and immediately went faint. Then she realised I’d had a c-section and said, “Why didn’t you say?” So I expressed sitting up the bed in the end and continued to express every 4 hours even once I came home. When he was two weeks old I mentioned that I wanted to breastfeed (he was tube fed with my breastmilk at the time) so they put him to me and he was struggling to latch. The matron came over and made a comment about my nipples then literally grabbed my boob and moved his head. It made me feel like a failure. She did it again the next time I tried feeding him too. I was happy for advice but I felt like they were just taking over without actually explaining anything to me so I never quite knew what I was meant to do. I felt a huge pressure to keep trying and in the end I burst into tears and told them I wanted to bottle feed instead. So that’s what I did after 6 weeks of trying and failing to breastfeed.

I bottle fed my second and probably will with this baby. Part of me thinks maybe I should give it a go as it’s my last baby and I’ll never have the chance to try again but then I just think about the first time and how I probably won’t be able to do it.

I had a similar experience in hospital after birth I rang the bell and a midwife on night shift took my boob in one hand the baby’s head in the other and said ‘do you want it or not??’ Impatiently to the baby. Some people are either very tired or in the wrong job!

 

[Veronicaaa]

@Flumps Have you read The Secret History / anything by Donna Tartt? I read Liane Moriarty's 9 Perfect Strangers before lockdown and really enjoyed that, it's one of those ones you just want to take the weekend to read in bed. I've hardly read any new books since lockdown, re-reading stuff, just started A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan which I remember really enjoying when it first came out. Oh, I read My Dark Vanessa a couple of months ago, that was good but DARK.

 

[Cookiecookie]

How to Eat Canned Sardines: 15 Recipes and a How-To Video | Sardine recipes, Cooking recipes, Food

Jan 4, 2012 - If you’re unsure how to eat canned sardines, we have some intriguing ideas for you. Usually tinned sardines are thought of as a last resort for when you can’t be bothered to cook, if not relegated to apocalypse food, but we urge you to reconsider. The small, oily, silvery fish are...

pin.it

I normally make the sardine fritters, although must confess the dog is currently the main eater of sardines. I keep forgetting about foods I used to make, and then having a Partridge like 'A-ha' moment about them.

 

[Mustard]

How to Eat Canned Sardines: 15 Recipes and a How-To Video | Sardine recipes, Cooking recipes, Food

Jan 4, 2012 - If you’re unsure how to eat canned sardines, we have some intriguing ideas for you. Usually tinned sardines are thought of as a last resort for when you can’t be bothered to cook, if not relegated to apocalypse food, but we urge you to reconsider. The small, oily, silvery fish are...

pin.it

I normally make the sardine fritters, although must confess the dog is currently the main eater of sardines. I keep forgetting about foods I used to make, and then having a Partridge like 'A-ha' moment about them.

My parents frequently ate sardines on crackers.