Food & Drink #5 Sit the feck down, I need to see the fecking bread cart!

[heretoreaditall2019]

New thread title - has Jackie told someone to fuck off again? I can’t wait to recap on her Partridge ways, but am reserving it for another nocturnal sesh with baby!

She arrived and is wonderful, only got home yesterday but everything has been amazing! Really lucky to have had such a super positive birth experience, fucking hell the heat though

Food wise I am a disaster because absolutely nothing appeals at the mo and my tummy feels so gross both internally & externally I’m going to get a shit ton of seafood tomorrow though

eta sorry for the overboard of emojis im like a MLM hun here ???

 

[LavaFlake]

Fraus I have some great news.... after a weekend of waiting in agony I have been offered the job

It's goodbye toxic agency and hello working in house for an organisation whose aims and values I truly support and align with mine. I'm very emotional considering I was on a zero hours minimum wage job 4 years ago, and really struggling month to month (not to sound like JM lol). But I never thought I'd get this far in my career.

 

[spirals]

I am having a horrible day today, and the baby news has actually cheered me up a bit.

My husband can be so lovely when he wants to be, but other times he can be really mean and nasty. I never know which it is going to be. Nothing relevant to say, I'm just feeling very sad and alone, and somehow knowing that the cabal is out there helps a lot.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

@heretoreaditall2019 Congratulations! I’m so pleased for you.

So the date went very well, I enjoyed myself. I’m an amazing axe thrower and she’s very funny and makes me laugh. Date 2 will be on the cards very soon when we both can find time! Thank you all for the well wishes and thinking of me

 

[crystaleyesd]

Speaking of crisps... it's time - and sadly the final time (I leave tomorrow) - for the Turkish crisp showdown!

ROUND 4: Lays baharatli flavour

TASTING NOTES: Honestly, I was initally disappointed to find that, instead of an explosion of baharat spice flavour, these were plain old paprika. Then I googled and it turns out 'baharatli' just means 'spicy' in Turkish and so I've been bamboozled by my own linguistic ignorance and middle class foodie assumptions - serves me right quite frankly. And who DOESN'T love paprika crisps? Sadly lacking in UK supermarkets, they're probably the flavour I most look forward to when I go to Eastern Europe. Savoury, salty, spicy, oily with just a hint of tang and sweetness, paprika crisps are simply bangin.

MOUTHFEEL: I don't know what it is about Lays - despite being the same company as Walkers, Lays are always way better. Perhaps it's the expansive flavour selection, perhaps there are fewer tedious laws about salt and fat content overseas, perhaps it's just cos you're on holiday and everything tastes exciting and new. Anyway, fuck those posh crisps that are as thick as cardboard - these are paper thin and shatter delightfully against the teeth, with a pleasant amount of bubbled potato for pockets of seasoning to get trapped and produce little explosions of ecstasy.

AESTHETIC: Finally a crisp that deserves its moniker. Actually made from potato, they simply resemble the humble tuber from whence they came - some managing to maintain their complete form, some crushed into shadows of their former selves. The liberal application of oil and bright orange seasoning mean they shine translucently like a rose copper moon against a sparkling azure sea. These would make an absolutely charming addition to any authentic mezze platter - either pretend you made them yourself with a FANCY mandoline, or impress your guests even more by revealing you smuggled them back from the motherland yourself.

VERDICT: Simply delicious and happy to be leaving Istanbul on a crisp high. I weep for the crisps left untasted but there will surely be more crisp adventures to come. It's a big world out there, with many flavours and tastes and seasonings, but sometimes you can't beat the classics - get a clue UK and embrace paprika. 9/10.

 

[blurstoftimes]

I haven’t fully caught up but Omg @heretoreaditall2019 congratulations!! What wonderful news

catering job went very well (I think - they all seemed happy but were quite pissed by the time I left ) but I of coursedidn’t get the chance to take any decent pics! Managed to get one of the paloma cocktails, the starter dips (guac and sikil pal with tortilla chips and fridge cold crudités because it was SOO hot) the accoutrements and a crap dark shot of the table. 3 hours from start to finish because I decided to make the tortillas fresh- slight mistake!

now relaxing in my mum’s lovely sunny garden with an iced coffee and fruit danish and feeling very content! not even a Jack Monroe bowl of skip could bring my mood down

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Thank you guys I’m rubbish on my phone so sorry I’m not quoting -

Husband didn’t faint amazingly, he wore his go pro all the way through on his forehead! When he came into the room he did say “why is there so much blood on the floor - is it yours” which is 100% something I could have done without ever knowing much less at that time! I never want to see that footage in my life tbh I don’t know why he did it, he did really well as we knew my surgeon so they chatted during too! I was most surprised the midwives said they’ve never seen anyone do it before tbh? Maybe most men have more shame

Baby was shockingly even bigger than they predicted... She’s not even chubby she’s just very tall, with ridiculously long legs. She is brilliant with her feeding so that’s a huge relief, but probably cos she’s so big too she needs it?

I like to think JM’s booking another holiday away for this humid heat wave for us all to enjoy gentle pleasantries? Or maybe she’ll start cooking liquid slop in that ooni like a science experiment? Something wholesome pls!

 

[HarderFaster]

One of my good friends leaves the UK to go back to Turkey tomorrow so I made a quasi Turkish feast to celebrate. And then a strawberry cheesecake. It was good and I am sad that she's going. We're taking her to the airport in the morning but I hope we can go visit once this pesky pandemic is over.

Please excuse my utterly shit plates - I have accumulated all my mum's cast offs in the years since my undergrad.

It's finally cool enough to lie next to me fella in bed without melting. Yay.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

My lunch that I just demolished - kinda Niçoise salad, minted new potatoes and Diana Henry's Korean cucumber salad, which is my favourite way to eat cucumber

Dressed it with a raspberry and chilli vinegar that I've infused myself.

 

[Readingismyhobby]

Operation on knee was completed. Need to investigate how to get her home (she lives on her own) - stair lifts and other aids need to be investigated.
She wasn’t very stable before, dread what she will be like after this fall. It’s going to knock her confidence. I feel very spacy. It’s very strange to be in contact and see sisters after a gap of over2 years. I would like to retreat to bed with the current depression and hibernate.
Thanks for all the lovely comments, they have really helped me

 

[GrunkaLunka]

The littlest one is only 7 months I've got a fan in my room (she's still in with me) and keep giving her a little flannel wash. She doesn't seem overly bothered by the heat, but I get so paranoid because I know overheating is so dangerous.
I have put a thin sheet on the middle one as she insists on being covered like your son. I've had to take all her blankets away because otherwise she would still wrap up in them She has a fan too and her room actually seems to be cooling down now there is a breeze.
I will try putting the wet flannels on the fans to cool the air.
The biggest one is sprawled like a starfish across her bed.
I think my mental health must be dipping, I'm feeling really tearful and shitty so I think the heat paranoia is part of this.
Thank you for the calm and sensible advice guys, it's helping.

 

[Readingismyhobby]

Feeling stressed. My elderly mum was taken to hospital yesterday. I’m now in communication with my estranged sisters ( they cut me off). Thank god for the AA program.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Look how cute my lil spice jars are

 

[GrunkaLunka]

I'll be the one in the nutribullet costume

Don't... You'll give yourself away.

*waits anxiously to find out if the joke worked.

 

[PoorPatrol]

@spirals you are very Matt much not alone. Lots of friends, and me, have realised our husbands and partners are awful - nothing new but highlighted by lockdown. For me I feel like life is just too short, it’s difficult with kids but nobody deserves to be treated badly at all, especially in their own home. I’m so sorry you’re feeling so alone. The cabal is definitely here

 

[MarmiteExtract]

On the subject of odd pineapple-based dishes, I urge you all to google CANDLE SALAD. I am hesitant to post a picture here myself so soon after the dick waffle as I fear yous may get the wrong idea about what I look for in a dish...

Erm...

 

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @crystaleyesd for the thread title - a grand total of 25 reactions She’s on a transcontinental cultural odyssey of crisps, etc. but still has time to bat this out of the park.

Welcome to Food and Dick Drink thread #5! I could attempt to do a recap, but I think it would be difficult. Meandering chat about food and drink, photos of food and drink, and ... other stuff.

Let us continue, one and all.

 

[colouredlines]

Skimming through quickly with my food and drink news of the day...I ate a dick waffle! TBH it was mostly for the photos, the inside was a bit too doughy due to its impressive girthiness.

I will spoiler it just in case.

Spoiler: Dick waffle

 

[spirals]

I just wanted to say thank you again to all you lovely, wonderful Frauen for the kind thoughts. I think all my posts where I said thank you yesterday got deleted for other reasons and I don't want it to get missed how much I appreciated you all.

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Oh my God, I've just been out to the car to grab a holiday bag I hadn't bothered to bring in yet and there is a Method grenade in there.
I had taken a bottle of the rhubarb floor cleaner with me to the holiday let so I could keep on top of mopping down and it's got so hot it is all big like it's about to blow up. I was so scared of it I just slammed the door and ran away. There is a good chance that my car will explode in a rhubarb scented fireball at any moment.