Father of Daughters #55 His luggage is smarter than he is

[heretoreaditall2019]

Haha. Other things on her mind perhaps?

His ads are so very very poor. Don’t brands look at previous effort (and engagement)? The Mark Warner stuff bombed. Poor content, and a lot of criticism in the comments. It’s not great.

Interesting to think about the target market. My family is probably in the income bracket he’d like to aim at. Although the Mark Warner would be a stretch for us for what you get - we have cheaper holidays that offer similar but aren’t branded. But I see him as hopelessly naff. The worst kind of try-hard lifestyle. The house is dated and formulaic. The breathtaking amount of tone deaf privilege in every post. Random focus, exploiting his children the whole time, including their medical conditions. And dull, dull, dull.

The products he’s advertising aren’t particularly interesting. And all the reels of Clemmie wearing sack-like dresses in various locations are just mystifying.

“Dated and formulaic” is exactly it. There’s not a thing in that house that isn’t mass produced and/or pushed heavily on Instagram. He did an aerial shot of the “play room” the other day and I think they now have one of those plastic outside storage trunks in there, the kids rooms all look like youth hostels they’re so barren.

Did I dream that they’re doing an outdoor shower? For what? They don’t have a swimming pool and their garden is overlooked on all 3 sides isn’t it…? Wild.

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

Desperate for content!

We’re buying a house at the moment. It’s Georgian (sorry, FoD), and slightly shabby inside in places. We’re doing a new kitchen from repurposed furniture, but otherwise it’ll do as it is. I like shabby chic! The kids’ rooms are currently nicely done in Farrow and Ball but they are each being allowed to do exactly what they want with them, whatever we think of the result - currently a Harry Potter Gryfindor bedroom planned, a unicorn one and possibly a bus one. The stuff on the walls will be meaningful to us, whether it’s an IKEA print or a commissioned cartoon of our family.

It’s got a gorgeous mature garden, not hugely overlooked. We’re going to set up a vegetable patch, and a trampoline for the kids, but otherwise we’ll leave it to nature (it was planted out 20 years ago by a former owner, a biology professor who wanted to create an eco garden). We won’t be putting down astroturf, an outdoor kitchen, a screen, a shower, or any other naff rubbish.

I find myself actually rather embarrassed for FoD.

 

[Axatogrind]

Are they ever going to get around to finishing the utility room, which he started ripping apart and then just left?

I'm pretty sure he said that was a priority for this year, until he got sidetracked with #gifted planting, making a Wattbike room and thinking about a glass peephole for the guest shower.

 

[Titfer]

New story about his weird family car journey tradition that only he and his parents did... Stobart Spotting...

FFS Sly, that is a big thing you dick, so obviously you'll get shitloads of engagement

 

[Runninggirl]

We used to do it when our on long car journeys but I’m not telling him that!

 

[rainbowlemon]

That's my feeling too @OhMyWord. He went a long time without any brand deals, but they started creeping back and none of the brands have suffered serious repercussions. Not even recently, when Clemmie has been actively involved in the deals.

Managing a small amount of pushback but no serious public outrage is a small price to pay if the partnership is otherwise profitable. Like you say though, who's actually being influenced? WHO is looking at Simon's grey and dusty head, or Clemmie's sour face, thinking "I MUST have that brand of chocolate"?

That brand of chocolate has also been featured on Babychino - THE blog American heiress Courtney adamo used to write for with her other posho yummy mummies. Quite a jump down to the Hoopers lol.

“Dated and formulaic” is exactly it. There’s not a thing in that house that isn’t mass produced and/or pushed heavily on Instagram. He did an aerial shot of the “play room” the other day and I think they now have one of those plastic outside storage trunks in there, the kids rooms all look like youth hostels they’re so barren.

Did I dream that they’re doing an outdoor shower? For what? They don’t have a swimming pool and their garden is overlooked on all 3 sides isn’t it…? Wild.

No dream. He did mention the outdoor shower.

 

[Axatogrind]

His pronunciation of Dentressangle

 

[Rosieee]

I know we keep saying it over and over again but I can't cope, this is a man who just turned 40 !

 

[Axatogrind]

I know we keep saying it over and over again but I can't cope, this is a man who just turned 40 !

Each time he asks his viewers a question that he could easily google, he ages the combined amount of everyone's time that he wastes.

 

[BlairWaldorf86]

I know we keep saying it over and over again but I can't cope, this is a man who just turned 40 !

The Ian Beale vibes are strong here.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I wonder if anyone’s referred to him as the kids’ grandad? Like at pick ups or just those small public interactions you have with strangers.

 

[Patrickthewonderdog]

‘Dated and formulaic’ would be a good thread title
I really hate their house with a passion. It’s screams 2017 Instagram so much. It’s never a good idea to dump every single trend (and expensive ones at that) into one large house in one go, unless you have the money to re-do it every 3 years (& also the lack of eco-consciousness that would require). All that dark blue, dark green, velvet sofas, ugly meaningless crap on the walls (that ‘be kind’ poster ) - it’s SO dated. And then they chav up the garden with bleeping plastic grass.
It’s so awful & lacks any kind of authenticity at ALL.
And yeah, he looks 55.

 

[Axatogrind]

I wonder if anyone’s referred to him as the kids’ grandad? Like at pick ups or just those small public interactions you have with strangers.

Or people thinking he and Clemmie are father and daughter!

 

[sarleyahson]

I wonder if anyone’s referred to him as the kids’ grandad? Like at pick ups or just those small public interactions you have with strangers.

My dad was mistaken for my grandad on my first day of school… but he was nearly 50 FOD could easily pass as a grandparent!

 

[rainbowlemon]

Or people thinking he and Clemmie are father and daughter!

Can almost imagine the daddy foreplay.

 

[Toffeebythesea]

Can almost imagine the daddy foreplay.

Ffs that nearly made me bring up my carvery. SAY SORRY

 

[miserypudding]

I’ve just rewatched the safari video… the way Clemmie slaps the girl’s hands out of the way with the giraffe

And the grumpy look on her face! She is mad! And those are the good bits of her that made it to the video…..

Long time lurker here but peeping out to say THIS! The way she slapped the hand and the aggressive look made me wince. If this is how she is on a public video, what on earth is she like in private.

 

[Axatogrind]

Can almost imagine the daddy foreplay.

 

[rainbowlemon]

Ffs that nearly made me bring up my carvery. SAY SORRY

Never!

 

[Hatchet_job]

Tomorrow is World Mental Health Day. I wonder if we'll hear from him...