Father of Daughters #42 He is dull. He has nothing to sell. They ruined it all in French.

[Behelzabobs]

Unpopular opinion coming up brace yourselves

but it makes me want to puke when people let their dogs lick their mouths....all I can think is ‘they’ve been licking shit and bums and willies’

 

[Titfer]

It's a bit early for Thread Titles but please... Father of Daughters Content, Phallic and Unappetising must be a contender

 

[Dogmuck]

Ahh thanks @houseofhoop for doing the title.

Congratulations on the thread title @Hatchet_job . I’m afraid I can’t take any credit for the latter part and that was defo a collab by @rainbowlemon Here, @ExhaustedDad with this beauty and special shout outs to the funnies that couldn’t be used cos “rules” @Titfer @Coffee-Addict naughty

Happy new year and happy new thread Trolls. May 2021 #bekinder to you all

So off we go, buckle up it’s a biggie and soz I got a bit bored half way through so stopped with the tags from last thread.

1. After hating them all & wishing the twins would choke Sly was feeling feelings about them growing up Awwww thanks for the capture @Behelzabobs ya little devil.
2. @Axatogrind asked for suggestions for a FOD festive bingo card and you guys delivered
3. Sly is still using the twinnies as click bait, slowmo video of Twinnies jumping off the beach wall into his grifting loving arms Fear not our @Axatogrind got this
4. Regardless of slowly sneaking the twinnies back in to his posts Slys followers were scampering off and he hit an all time low of daily/monthly averages
5. But after reading here, Glen gave him his Christmas money early and he looked to the land of the rising sun and boom 2000 new followers. Mr can you tell me where my love has gone he’s my Japanese bot
6. Recognising that 8765432 shots of her not swimming was dull af, ST bought a 9 week old kitten to spice up her content yay 8765432 photos of the kitten
7. Sly continued tagging large brands in a desperate attempt to be recognised hey hey I’m here for the lols.
8. Meanwhile, over on HOH, things were very quiet, no wonderful DIY or displays of the house but then we got the decorating the Christmas tree and their tradition to buy a new decoration each every year, but as @SmeatonsStar pointed out it’s the barest tree ever
9. Back on FOD we had “Avocardos” and guess who’s back, back our Glen. All four of the vaginas around the bush and lots of creepy follower comments
10. As our nation discovers a new mutation of COVID and higher tiers are enforced, Sly offers us his photoshopped newspaper headlines, for the lolz
11. Then a lovely story about drinking cocktails whilst in sole charge of his kids
12. They “bought” a wreath, then he discovered last years wreath and he’s gonna recycle that baby #ecosly
13. ST did a vitamin Ad
14. Lol Sly gave us death by quiche - another hilarious video about out of date food
15. Then serious Sly told us about charities - ahh thank you Sly, we’ll be out clapping for you, our hero, tonight
16. Holy shit...he got a gift (or PR product in FOD parlance)...4 Christmas baubles ...dang that blew the special family tradition. Sly it’s a start mate who knows next gift might be a holiday for four to the Maldi... maybe not.
17. Ooops she did it again. ST breaking the COVID rules and posting about it on the gram. From Kent (tier 3) to London, the night it was put in to tier 4, to experience Christmas at Kew Gardens. She’s catching on quickly though...now you see it now you don’t.
18. Sly posted old content about the twinnies and Christmas lights.
19. On HOH he built a lean-to shed...he’s so talented, he knows it just takes practice (page 22)
20. He showed us last years Christmas “tablescaping”
21. They went on a very long walk and the girls got a taxi back but him and his mate pablo had to walk back
22. He has a hurty knee - @GetOffMyLawn brought the giggles with her “wahhhmbulance” but suggested maybe stop all the walking and take a paracetamol
23. THEY WENT TO BRISTOL - TIER 4 KENT SUPERSPREADERS
24. He did his best to pretend they were in Kent (pre-recordings anyone?) but then, unlike Sly (unless there’s a scandal) he went silent
25. Then came NYE and she was rolled out again - YAY GLEN
26. And just like that we’re in 2021 and sly is back with an abundance of shit content that didn’t happen - snack theif & forgotten password
27. His following hit 918k but then FTOTM - first Tuesday of the month - he got his bot money and he’s got the gold package with added “Clemie” & emoji comments
28. More Lols from Sly as he mashes up COVID Hokey Cokey - as numbers of deaths and infected rise to record levels - nice work Sly
29. Glen loves Sly...but in French...in the kitchen dressing room...with a hammer BIG TIME

 

[Titfer]

It's really sad that someone offering genuine advice has to do it so apologetically, so as not to be accused of being a troll

 

[Dogmuck]

Just found this from a fabulous northern artist, her work is incredible and you can see the message clearly running through her work. The original is only £78000 but you can get copies for like only £350 at her Etsy store www.artdeladogmuck.co.uk

I’m defo buying one and if you don’t want to miss out on this beautiful piece from an outstanding talent then I suggest you don’t wait...when they’re gone they’re gone

 

[Jumbojet1251]

What the hell have I just watched! Two bastard kitchens! “it’s functional but we need to make it aesthetically pleasing” !?!?!? At the start of lockdown 3 and this is what he posts? Prettying up his fully functional second kitchen stacked with free Miele’s. How highly he thinks of himself! Holy hens teeth. And the basement! “You could make it into an apartment”. Second Staircase? He is unbelievable! The whole post was to gloat and show off the space he has whilst hoping someone gives him what he wants so his precious eyes don’t have the misfortune to look at the non aethletically pleasing second kitchen. Colossal cunt.

Privilege is wasted on him.

Think I need a break before I even try to watch the drugging the kids bit. *fans face*

 

[Dogmuck]

So they have a new puppy. Does this prove they did indeed travel to Bristol?

This is the dog that was at Clemmies mums, along with 4 stockings with the girls names on the week before Christmas

So they’ve got a girl dog and a boy dog - YAY the twins are off the hook - father_of_puppyfarm they can now sell pedigree sausage pups

 

[Spiesandliea]

That video is pretty upsetting and I’d be so disgusted if I was Clem to see he’d filmed that.

I was on the same beach as them today and my toddler fell over and was soaking (dungarees I’m afraid no wet suit for her) but I picked her up and we all went back home. No need to film it as I’m not a cunt

 

[Tattlingpineapple]

I don't want to be too judgmental but I'm wondering why almost 5year olds still use a potty and why they use it in their bedroom and not in the bathroom. Imagine they knock it over on the wooden floor

 

[sassmaster3000]

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saw this and immediately thought of FOD haha

 

[Titfer]

Lol oh dear have you got four kids though?

Three.. But two currently at home... But wook

Do you think I should should create an Instagram account for him...?

 

[Chortlebear]

Unpopular opinion coming up brace yourselves

but it makes me want to puke when people let their dogs lick their mouths....all I can think is ‘they’ve been licking shit and bums and willies’

Completely agree! And stop holding the fricking dog like that!!

Also, I reloaded and now can see comments from the birthday post. I particularly liked this response to his hope that the twins look back on this when they’re older with happy memories...

 

[AdoraDelano]

I don't post often but something about that full potty on display for his 900,000 followers has made me really angry. He has no respect for his children at all. There'll be some perverts who get a kick out of that

Each child develops differently, but if the reason for them needing a potty in their room is down to bad "reno" choices from MOD and FOD, that's just depressing.

 

[Alectrona]

I know it's been well established but they really can't read a room can they?
Here's our playroom - bigger than the size of an average living room. But don't worry, it used to be ghastly.
It's immaculate! - your house will be anything but. Let us help!
And I'm showing you through the medium of a video I had time to make (in an empty house?) -while most of you haven't had 5 mins on your own in 3 months
Screenplay -Glen
Director- Glen
Producer - Glen
Thanks for watching

 

[Titfer]

I believe it says The Father Hood... I'm open for requests, the youngest and I are procrastinating...

 

[houseofhoop]

Got his beanie and his can of brewdog....he’ll be on a retro BMX next #hipsterfail

And so to my old favourite meme for fod....

 

[houseofhoop]

Well Sly it’s been nearly a year since your last paid partnership. Has it been worth it? Has the clinging on for dear life to the failing account been worth it, has the need to film your kids rooms been worth it, has the need to film your kids crying been worth it? A year with no income from it all. Even a dumb ass parent like yourself must surely be questioning whether it’s worth it now. Why don’t you stop? Why don’t you close your account and be a proper parent to your girls? Focus on them, Glen and your work. No one wants to see a middle aged man, they’ve never met, dancing around B&Q. We won’t miss you and your bots won’t miss you. Be a parent, be a dad:
Now fuck off.

 

[Emmadale]

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‘There’s a lot of love’ If there was a lot of love you’d be comforting your crying wet cold child instead of filming her.

If there was a lot of love you wouldn’t use such hateful derogatory comments about them to 900k followers (albeit lots are bots!)

If there was a lot of love, you wouldn’t sell your children’s childhood for free chips!

 

[Jumbojet1251]

Re the “Please come and re-roof my house for free” post, I absolutely LOVED the bit that said (iirc) “I THINK it’s felt” Husband and I fell about laughing! What else could it be fodders? Asda mozzeralla cheese slices?

Such an obvious thirsty auld cunt otter!

And look at him all puffed up like a baboons shitter because he can put a bike together. Tragic, tragic man.

 

[Middleagedwannagramma_]

They don't go to bed because you're shit parents, Simon. As well as morally bankcrupt, major consumer addiction issues, toxic relationship enablers and to top it off shit taste in house decor.