Father of Daughters #39 I spy with my little eye, MODified sausages exposing more lies

[Axatogrind]

 

[Dogmuck]

Congratulations to @Cliqueypedia who’s on a sausage roll with her second successive title win with 34 reactions.

Special mention to @OhMyWord who suggested Sly should write a book called “Outnumbered...by kitchens: A Cautionary Tale.” Whilst this was a high up on the most reactions it wasn’t actually a suggested thread title until later in the day. I loved that but being a jobsworth I had to go with the most reacted to thread suggestion. Soz!

As a cautionary tale here can you lovely trolls give a title suggestion like this... FOD #number... so nobody gets upset when making a new thread - thank you

Before I start the recap can we all just take a moment to marvel at the wonder that is @Axatogrind and her wizardry at photoshopping that keeps us alive every day
Some of her best bits from last thread here here here and here

So off we go...
Blessed day Trolls.
Almost 4 months after his BML BLM post we were treated to our first FOD post and he did not let us down. Whaaaahhhh how can I get my £800 childcare vouchers back?
Boring af!

Over on HOH the justification for ripping out perfectly good stuff renoing continued. We were shown the shit old fire place and their new much better much more stylish one . Slys tutorial video of his DIY hallway storage got the ladies in Alabama “damp” but despite the fact he told one of them he used a Dulux copy of farrow and ball, he tagged farrow and ball on the next post. Sly, lies like a rug!

It was 21 October 2020 (a day to remember) when the Tattle Trolls got to see their favourite room! Yaaaassss it was the kitchen bedroom The bedroom island took centre stage and we Trolls snorted up our morning coffee and our afternoon tea at the incredible @Axatogrind hilarious mockups. The Hoopers still see no problem with ripping out a perfectly good high end bathroom, putting it in the garden and installing a late 1970s MFI kitchen dressing room. We disagree!

Still with HOH we got the door painting video and then there were more inane shots of their house, this time three posts about their sideboards

He asked how to make good the Belfast sink that he took out of the first new kitchen miraculously found in the cellar He showed us his renovation of their en-suite.

It’s interesting to note throughout all of these show and tell renovation posts and stories Sly has suggested he has had some hand in doing them and on occasion tags the people that have actually undertaken the work as though they were his apprentices! Sly lies like a rug!

He donned his super hero cape and became part of the thousands of people who were involved in the antibodies test. He had covid, he’d been tested, he couldn’t get a test earlier in the year...well that’s not what you said earlier in the year Sly when you told us you’d been tested receipts gained by @Axatogrind - Voila jaysus you’re very busy here Axa!

House Clunge was spotted several times, then tried to use the cover of other forums to hide his/her snooping on us, then s/he discovered how to make his/her account private and now they snoop without our knowledge but @Housedelaclunge we know you will always be with us

Buoyed by his renovation success on HOH, over on FoDs gram we were treated to an overhaul of yet another kitchen...yes it’s kitchen number 3, the kids Ikea kitchen. Many trolls suggested this kitchen might be better situated in the garden, the bathroom, the shed anywhere but in the kitchen cos why would you not put a kitchen in a bedroom ffs? He then showed all the children Ikea kitchen Reno’s he found on google his fans sent him!

Still desperate to get something ANYTHING for free, we got #shittricks where he tagged malteasers, and still desperate for engagement asked his fans to share their shit tricks...clearly nobody did because that was the end of that little stunt!

It’s Slys birthday - oh no it’s not, it was back in September, but he’s not telling his huns that he’s gonna show y’all the #dadpresents he was showered with.

God it was all pretty dull, then it was Halloween and a full moon and he got a #gifted
We were all a little shocked and probably a bit disappointed that a business thought he was worthy!
@rainbowlemon treated us to a list of the freebies they’ve bragged told us about!

Fortunately our eagle eyed coven member @Lipsofchicken noted that “Im so unique I swim in the sea” Sarah had also posted the gifted cakes AND THE MUMMY SAUSAGES!
So the question was, who was gifted and actually were the Hoopers and the Tomczaks flaunting the covid laws and partying together????

Much digging and questioning ensued. It was clear there was a mole in Tattle Towers (Mr/Mrs/Ms Clunge?) because as the receipts of their misdemeanours unfolded, Sarah’s incriminating stories were deleted

Several of the coven took direct action and asked Sarah herself, her replies...She just dropped the kids off. It was only the younger Hoopers there, she took the photos at drop off, she was sent the photos...who fucking knows But we concluded the woman doth protest too much!!
She then went on a blocking rampage. But trolls we salute your dedication to the cause and there will be free drinks and a ceremony in the VIP lounge on Wednesday- covid safe natch!

Sarah will probably need her own thread soon, so we can all learn how to live like a lady and become a sex goddess, useful and necessary traits all women need in the 21st Century!
Blessed day!

Sly is at it again buying bots, he’s bought them from the Middle East this week.

Let’s hope Sly can keep up his antics to entertain us all as we enter another month of lockdown.

Please feel free to add. Under his eye

 

[Axatogrind]

You know what, I really thought HoH was all Clemmie, until I saw the updated bedroom photos

 

[Axatogrind]

I feel bad that I ever doubted the quality of her work

 

[houseofhoop]

Evening folks! Was a little bit bored tonight, and I got stuck down a rabbit hole (not with Alice ) on swim tits account. Anyway I thought I’d follow this little green pot (of lemons) around her house to see how many times she uses it to stage a photo…

 

[Emmadale]

Do you dare me?

 

[Axatogrind]

"When I go to the beach to be a swim tit, I pair my swimsuit with a chunky knit"

 

[LuBiLu]

I got a song for him...

Tragedy
When the sponsors are gone and you get no more
It's tragedy
When you cry DIY, with no freebies in sight
It's hard to bear
With no collabs in sight, the reno is going nowhere.

 

[Axatogrind]

Had a request yesterday from @houseofhoop for a Swim Tits one. It had to be done

 

[Sweettutu]

His post is horrible. Also let’s drop the AIDS references pls guys. Not cool.

 

[Axatogrind]

I've #gifted her a little something to help when she's ready to try her first proper swim

 

[Sweettutu]

Can see it now - FOD in a beanie and skinny jeans, dancing in slow motion on the trampoline, surrounded by fairy lights and falling snowflakes. Cut to: the twins peeking out from behind a holly tree in the garden. He gestures for them to join him on the trampoline and they dance and jump, all holding hands. Cut to: a shot of an outdoor speaker system. Camera pans over the fairy lights and the trampoline, soft focus on FOD’s forehead furrows.
Tagline: Show then you’re never too old to enjoy Christmas, with John Lewis.

Cut to: twins peeking out from behind a holly tree in the garden. He gestures for them to join him on the trampoline, they retort with as if, you sad old fucker. We’re gonna watch YouTube for a bit then gangan’s giving us a lift to early years therapy. Pan up and eldest kid is vaping out the attic window “I FUCKING HATE FUCKING RAMSGATE WHY DID WE LEAVE LONDON”. Shot of middle kid burying herself in homework with non-gifted bottom of the range £4 wired earbuds in. Cut to Glen hurriedly hiding durex in her handbag and walking out the door. Back to FOD bouncing. Cut to Pablo, barking in the boot of the XC90. Fade. “For the love of an Ethical Christmas. John Lewis”

 

[Dogmuck]

Oh she has posted stories of her actually submerged in the sea today. Hi Swim Tits

The power of this page! Wow! Just a handful of trolls telling her to get in the bin sea and like a performing monkey she’s in there...like swim wear

What do we want her to do next?

I just want her to follow CSA rules and write #AD (on every fucking post) oh and maybe follow Covid rules too...cos you ain’t 2 meters away from that inspiration you met today love!!

 

[Emmadale]

I didn’t come on here yesterday so just catching up. Agree with you @Dogmuck and others on the small brands thing.

I bought some kids leggings from a small brand on insta at the start of lockdown when she was doing a tenner Tuesday deal or something like that, it did say there would be a 4-6 week lead time as she hand makes them all herself, I was okay with that now he’s not growing as fast. 6 weeks came and went and then I got a message a couple of weeks later saying I could cancel if I wanted or carry on waiting (as she’d been inundated and busy with kids and shielding husband etc) I said I didn’t mind waiting.

A couple of weeks later I had a cancellation email and refund notification followed by an apologetic message on how she’d got through so many orders but then had to stop to spend time with her kids etc etc.

I was fine with that.....until.....

I then saw Stacey Soloman’s kid on Instagram in a bloody gifted pair. Pissed me right off! Found the time to make her some! For free!

 

[skronkywildcat]

She and Simon are peas in a pod. Not an ounce of style, nor an original thought in their heads, yet so bloody pleased with themselves.

God grant me the confidence of a mediocre white person who went to a bog-standard fee paying school.

 

[Dogmuck]

I’m gonna put my head above the parapet here and say, I kinda like ST here. Two reasons;
1. Sly still isn’t up to speed on his content for us to really have big belly laughs 24/7 like back in the day and she’s heavily connected to the Hoopers so they are kinda interchangeable so makes a good sideshow while we are waiting for the main car crash event
2. I don’t want her thinking she’s made it...I mean, come on guys, getting your own Tattle thread is like the Oscars of the film industry. Plus she’ll be able to do a “troll” piece in her magazine connect it to Clem etc and I personally don’t want her monetising us or giving MOD ammunition to sneak back in with a victim story.
Oh and 3. She reads here, I need her to know she’s the chorus/wing man/extra to Sly

If anyone does make her one I’ll pop in but I think it will be a bit like multitwats page. Just my thoughts not blowing anyone’s ideas out of the water

 

[Dogmuck]

You know, it was last year (and the one before?) that he was harping on and on about ethical Christmas, not needing presents, donating instead...so why the sudden u-turn to posting on your “small brands shout out” about what gifts you want?

Oh wait...

I’ve just been looking through their “small brands”, everything I saw was exclusively Kent or London based! What about the rest of the fucking country you twats!

I have a love/hate relationship with small brands at the best of times. Yeah we all hate amazon for the obvious reasons but amazon do actually employ people in this country...who do pay their taxes, the legal mechanism we have in place ensure they get at least the minimum employment protection. I have a good handful of friends who are “small brands/sole traders” and facts I know about them are these,
1. It’s quite often a lifestyle business, one partner earns well and they have chosen to be creative and essentially turned a hobby into a “business” (on reflection probs same point as 5).
2. They tend not to employ anyone outside their family, if they do they want that person as cheap as possible, minimum wage/apprentice.
3. They fiddle their accounts...be that taking cash in hand and not putting it through the books or putting pretty much all household goods through their business. Falsely keeping turnover under the threshold so they don’t need to be VAT registered.
4. They are being supported by their wealthy parents
5. There is no pressure to be a profitable or successful business, they do it for the love, so no despair when times are hard, their business isn’t paying the rent/mortgage or household essentials.
6. They are a money laundering vessel for their partners business.

Disclaimer - Not all of them are doing all of these things but every one of them is doing at least one of these things.

I like buying from John Lewis because it’s always quality, it’s price matched, they employ thousands of people through their business, it’s a partnership so no fat boy shareholders screwing everyone for their dividend, they pay all their taxes, they tend to deliver on time and if you have a complaint you can feel sure it will be dealt with, they are much more ethical than many of these “ethical” “planet friendly” small brands. They are scrutinised and accountable on every level.

I feel the desperate push to have an exclusive “small brand” product is what is driving this market, because who wants what everyone else can get. Many of these small brand products are just not affordable for the majority of people and are the exclusive domain of the middle class wannabe philanthropist types that ST and Sly are pretending to portray in their recent stories.

Sorry that’s a right old rant but it is something that winds me up.

 

[houseofhoop]

Presumably, Swim Tits uses the aforementioned tits as a flotation device whilst swimming?

Who knows, but one thing I have noticed from all these photos is there is not one of her actually swimming

 

[CakeQueen]

Shocked. A post with the Twinnies. And there’s me thinking he was trying to stop over exposure

What an awful thing to say. You expect to be doing this as a parent you dick wad

Lol ‘no wonder I look like ancient’ proof read much??

I know I’m a few days late, but I’m so mad about this. Honestly, what the actual fuck was he thinking?! What awful things to say. I lost my son a few years ago and to read shit like this is just ridiculous. And so many people are still on board with his shit show and still follow him. He should be completely ashamed of himself.
Sorry to rant, and to go back a couple of days but my god he’s angered me.

 

[Dogmuck]

Question for the floor.
This new follower of Slys, do you think she’s joined for the comedy dad antics or the DIY expertise? I can quite make up my mind