I am starting to think she leans more to a sociopath, than a narc ...
Here are 15 sociopath signs and traits to watch out for:
1. A Hunger for Power & Dominance
Both sociopaths and psychopaths are commonly found at the head of corporations, governments, and in positions of great power and authority, and this may be no coincidence. Sociopaths have a tendency to be power hungry and may spend a lot of time and effort attaining positions where they can control, dominate, and have authority over others.2 Once they obtain power, they often are seen misusing and abusing it in ways that are irresponsible, destructive, and harmful towards others.
2. Devious or Deceptive Tendencies
Another common characteristic of a sociopath is the tendency to be devious, dishonest, or deceptive. Sociopaths are often caught telling lies, exaggerating or distorting the facts, or misrepresenting the truth in order to get what they want.5 When caught in a lie or confronted about their dishonesty, they often use denial, projection, or redirection to squirm out of accountability.4
3. Ruthlessness in the Pursuit of Their Goals
Sociopathic people tend to be ruthless in their efforts to get what they want. Because they aren’t held back by normal reservations, moral or ethical principles, or concern for others, there aren’t many lines they
won’t cross to reach a goal. They may lie, cheat, steal, and use and abuse other people in order to get more money, power, or something they’ve decided they want.1,2
4. Hostile or Aggressive Towards Others
Hostility, anger, and aggression are other common traits found in sociopaths. Sociopaths are more likely to hold racist, sexist, or misogynistic ideals or to have hostile feelings towards both individuals and groups within society. They are also more likely to be violent, abusive, or aggressive towards people, although some sociopaths will use more covert forms of violence (like teasing, bullying, guilting, etc) to get what they want from people.1,2,4
5. Easily Angered or Irritated
Unlike other people who experience a wide range of emotions like happiness, sadness, fear, guilt, and anger, a sociopath may only have access to a few of these emotions. Anger is one of the most easily accessible emotions for the sociopath, and one that shows up frequently in their relationships, work, and daily life. They are often easily angered, irritated, and prone to yelling, aggression, or outbursts when upset.4
6. Irresponsible Decision Making
One of the main symptoms of a sociopath is a pattern of reckless, irresponsible, and impulsive decision making throughout their life. While everyone occasionally makes irresponsible or rash choices, a sociopath consistently makes poor choices, including ones which endanger themselves or others.1,3
Unlike other people, they do not seem to ‘learn’ from these mistakes, and will instead continue making them over and over again.
7. Superficial Charm & Powers of Persuasion
Sociopaths can be charming, cunning, and highly persuasive people who can easily get people to like them, agree with them, and help them out. These charms are superficial in nature, and tend to wear off the more often a person has to interact with them, like when you start
dating a sociopath and they drop the charm now that they “have you.”4,5
Over time, it will become clear that the sociopath is not an honest or trustworthy person, and most people will distance themselves from them. Still, they can be very good at making a first impression, charming others, and persuading people to do things for them.5
8. Broken Moral Compass or Limited Conscience
People with antisocial personality disorder do not have a working moral compass, and show limited regret when they’ve made a bad choice or harmed someone else. This limited ability to empathize or feel remorse shows up in sociopathic people in a number of ways.
They may knowingly act in ways that harm other people by lying, stealing, or taking advantage of them. While some sociopaths do feel a twinge of regret afterwards, it is usually not enough to stop them from doing the same thing to someone in the future.4,5
9. Few Close Bonds or Relationships
Because one of the hallmark sociopath signs is the inability to empathize or a disregard for the feelings and needs of others, it is very difficult for a sociopath to form close bonds with another person.1,2,4
They may have a few close relationships (often with family members or a significant other) but are generally unable to form healthy, lasting relationships with people. This is why many sociopaths have a long list of exes, “frenemies” and people they’ve betrayed, wronged, or abandoned who now distrust or dislike them.5
10. Manipulative Tendencies
Manipulative tendencies are another classic sign of sociopathy, and may include a pattern of lying, guilting, or coercing people into doing things for them. They use their charm, powers of persuasion, and
emotional manipulation to try to control the actions and choices of other people, often for their own self-serving interests.4 Some sociopaths manipulate other people because they find it entertaining, and not just when they are trying to get something out of it.
11. Entitlement & Impunity
Feeling entitled or above the law is another common characteristic of a sociopath. Sociopaths are people who feel like they should be exempt from following rules and sometimes even rules. They may demand that other people make exceptions or bend the rules for them, and also to make exceptions in holding them accountable or punishing them when they break the rules.5
12. Socially Deviant
Sociopaths have little or no regard for social norms or moral codes, and often act in ways that violate the unspoken rules of society most people follow. These include small infractions like waiting in lines or taking turns or telling half truths, as well as larger violations that harm other people or break laws. This same tendency can also show up as sexual promiscuity, even when the person committed to a monogamous relationship.1,2,5
13. Cheap Thrill-Seeking Tendencies
Many people who have sociopath symptoms seek out cheap thrills, even when doing so puts them or others at risk. These may include frequently overindulging in drugs or alcohol, sex, food, or expensive shopping or casino outings. Seeking out cheap thrills is often driven by impulses and urges that arise in the moment, and also may be related to their tendency to become easily bored. 1,2,4
14. Opportunistic in all the Wrong Ways
Opportunists are people who find ways to turn situations (including hardships) into advantages, but sociopaths often seek out or create hardships for others for their own advantage. This makes them antisocial opportunists who attempt to profit or gain from the misfortune of other people, and to view the struggles of others in a positive light.
15. Emotional Detachment
A final sign of a sociopath is emotional detachment, which may show up as being cool, callous, or emotionally absent. When other people are freaking out, the sociopath may be unusually calm and when others would feel guilty or sad, the sociopath may seem perfectly content and happy. These abnormal emotional reactions are often a sign that there is some ‘missing’ emotional wiring in a person, which is one of the telltale traits of a sociopath.2
