Dating after Lockdown

[realhousewivewannabe]

Hi All

so I avoided all dating apps etc during this time and I just do not know how I’m meant to meet someone with all this.

I thought 2020 was going to be the year I go out all the time, holidays, hobbies, and then BoOm I find my Prince Charming.

Instead I’ve sat at home for 4 months and stalked my ex

Any advice would be great!

 

[bobthedragqueen]

Speaking from what feels like a lifetime of experience dating the wrong men, generally if you’re second guessing yourself or having to make excuses for their poor behaviour then you’re better off channelling your energy elsewhere! I’ve had all the excuses (Nan’s sick, mums sick, best mates dads hamster sick...) and after many years of putting myself through the pain of waiting for a text to appear on my phone and analysing every word, I finally realise that your time is precious and if they don’t see that and don’t want to make the effort then maybe they were never right for you!

 

[yankydoo]

The thing about playing it cool is that it’s really hard to do. I find a lot of men (From the apps) start off really keen, tonnes of messages, wanting to meet quickly, talk of the future and the suddenly cool it down or disappear all together. I’ve had this so much and it’s hard not to sometimes get carried away, especially as these are good looking and successful men! I’m much better now, although it happened to me again recently. Saw a guy 4 times in two weeks and he sent a message saying we are moving too fast and then deleted me!

luckily, or sadly, I’m just used to it and see it as part of the journey.

I’m adamant I’m just going to keep trying and just be myself. I hate game playing! I’ve learnt to not take things personally, and as time goes on I’m more cool anyway as it becomes less exciting lol

Im in my 30s btw and men definitely do not get better or mature with age!

Also, I like to always be polite after a date and if I don’t like them I’ll send a nice message letting them down. Feel it’s the least I can do and am putting out good karma into the dating world!

 

[leapricot]

My god, was this guy wanting to upload his CV and put it on Tinder by mistake? How booooring 🥱

 

[leapricot]

Soooo last year (around June/July) I matched with a guy on Okcupid + Tinder but conversation didn't go far. We found each other on Bumble last week and matched again. I told him that we should have a proper good chat since we match on all the apps under the sun haha. So we talked for a bit, went on Whatsapp and he offered a walk and a coffee on Sunday (the one just gone). It went so so well, He was better looking than on photos, conversation was flowing, he was funny and we have lots of shared interests!
I walked him back as he just lived around the corner and he said I could come round for a tea (yes I know covid). We carried on our nice chats and he ended up kissing me. In the end, he walked me back home, he was holding my hand. When we said bye, he just hugged me and left.

Since then, I only had a couple of texts (but conversation pre-date was flowing) but he told me we could see each other next week if I was down for it (with a kiss at the end of the text). I don't know if it's a "normal" post first date behaviour but it confuses me a bit?

YES, I overthink everything

Little update if you guys are interested.
We chatted a bit last week and agreed to meet up on Monday just gone. On the Sunday, we planned what we would do on the Monday evening and he seemed enthusiastic. Then on the Monday around midday, I got this text
"I'm really sorry, I feel awful but I don't think we should meet later. I'm not feeling myself at the moment and meeting up isn't the right thing to do. I need to lay low and focus on work and stuff til I'm in a better place. I hope we can be friends, if not then I apologise again for messing you around. Hope I haven't really pissed you off or anything. Sorry man x"

Am I not worth more than a " SORRY MAN KISS"?

Anyway, I think his excuse is utter bullshit. I was right to be a bit wary.
As some people said, it seems that there is a pattern where guys are super keen before a first date, even during the date, then they completely vanish afterwards. Cowards much?

 

[aimz_yeah]

Also why does everyone suddenly want to convert a van and is looking for a girl to travel round in it with them. Nah mate, I’m strictly a nice hotel kind of guy. Not a converted van with barely enough room to roll over in

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Update: long story short. I have the ICK +more. I felt really anxious all night last night and this morning. Anyway I saw him today and It was too much, he also came across a bit forceful.

Spoiler: what happened

He grabbed my hand to his whilst hugging me and whispered in my ear what he wants to do to me . He kissed me a few times today and I didn’t kiss back but he kept on going, tongue and all. I guess it was too good to be right

I can’t edit my post anymore but I’m ok just feel a bit sick/shocked this is what happened in the end. Wasn’t as fun as Thursday for me and there could have been so much potential . I don’t know if it’s lockdown that’s made guys a bit full on??
Anyway absolutely no more dates for me!

 

[at-the-disco]

girls, it's ok to be picky when it comes to dating! never settle for anyone. you will grow to resent them and feel like you're wasting time, and someone will get hurt!

there are so many undercover narcissists out there and sexist men that you need to get to know them a little but leave at the first sign of a red flag! it just breaks my heart that so many women end up in relationships where they are treated terribly. keep strong and know what you deserve!

 

[Clementine]

They’re as bad as the guys who put pics of them with kids and then go to great pains to point out they’re not the father. Why the fuck are you putting the picture up then? Although I also judge guys who put pics of their kids up too. Just stop using kids as a prop on an adult dating site.

 

[Woolmercardington]

I struggle to find one man I want to date, let alone multiple

 

[Woolmercardington]

I remember chatting to this one bloke ages ago. If he messaged me at the weekend, it was of course the standard, "How is your weekend going?"

If he messaged on Monday or Tuesday, it was, "How was your weekend?"

If he messaged on Thursday or Friday, it was, "Any plans for the weekend?"

Then, this one Wednesday, I was treated with, "Did you have a nice weekend? Up to anything exciting this weekend?"

I mean, fucking hell!!

I replied with, "Wow, you really love asking me about my weekends."

Him: "Oh do I?"

Me: "Yes. You ask me every time you message me."

Him: "Oh I hadn't noticed ha ha."

Thankfully that was the last time I ever heard from him God, how I miss that witty repartee.

 

[Pink blancmange]

Single male Tattlers, reveal yourself!

 

[bookish]

Wondering if anyone had any horror date stories? Or ever met someone that seems nice but is actually a sexist t**t in meeting them?

Not a recent dating horror story, but back when I was first using dating apps I met a true narcissist.

He was SUPER charismatic, funny, handsome, well-spoken. Claimed he was a feminist (warning sign: when they say they're feminist, they're usually a misogynistic dick).

After charming me, he very quickly turned to put me down continuously - mocking me, telling me how I had no future, that I disappointed him (we'd only known each other three weeks). He berated me constantly, and then told me that he fancied 11 from Stranger Things (who was only 11 years old at the time), claimed his favourite film was American Beauty (ew), told me that he couldn't wait for his step-father to die, and he had photos of his mother ALL OVER HIS HOUSE.

Not only that but whenever I drank a cup of tea, he insisted I drank out of a mug with a photo of him and his mother on it.

He also invited me over to his home to stay over, but then never had any food for me and just ate dinner and breakfast in front of me as I sat empty.

Real catch, ladies. Real catch.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

 

[svdwoodsen]

I got engaged recently but was often the single girl in my group of friends before that. I didn't online date but I think this rule still applies to any man you meet that you're interested in:

If he's into you, you'll know. If he's not that into you, you'll be confused.

Remembering this and repeating it to myself has saved me a lot of trouble.

 

[This.is.me]

I was talking to a guy from tinder a while back (pre pandemic) and we discussed meeting up. When it came to the day we were actually supposed to meet I messaged him and he then told me he wasn’t the person in his photos. See message below. Well he did get a response and I said wtf you playing at you weirdo. He still didn’t think he had done anything wrong and was like I won’t apologise for helping my friend, which was clearly bullshit too. He ended up calling me a fatty which is hilarious because I’m actually underweight

I honestly didn’t question his authenticity until then, he had a linked Instagram account on his tinder which I’d looked at and we were speaking on WhatsApp and Snapchat. Turns out he was just a 40 year old virgin living with his mum more than likely or worse a crazy serial killer I am at least thankful he told me before I met him.

The story doesn’t end there. I saw the same guy on tinder again but a different name so I thought well maybe this is the real person and I should tell them someone else is using their photos and posing as them. We got talking but turns out he was also a catfish He sent me the exact same photo the previous guy had sent me. I said to him I’ve seen that photo before and he said well I don’t know how I’ve just taken it, like I was born yesterday. Hopefully he might realise he’s not very good at being a catfish and not do this to other women but I doubt it. Absolute weirdo, what is wrong with these men! They also always unmatch on tinder first when they know they’ve been discovered so you can’t report their profile. I’m extra cautious now and would agree with previous comments about video calling before meeting.

I had high hopes for this year but I’ve already been disappointed by a man before the 1st day of the year had even finished, not shocked just disappointed Starting to think there are actually no nice, genuine men out there

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Went on a date in mid March with a guy. We got on well and arranged a second date. He postponed as he got ill but continued the convo for a few days. He then went quiet and I messaged him asking if he was feeling better. He read my WhatsApp and did not reply. I messaged him the next day asking if he is ok and same again.

I deleted him and moved on.

Last night I got a message from him saying his pet (I don't want to say the pet just in case it he reads this somehow ) has fallen ill and is due to be put down this week.

It's very sad but I did not reply. Just think it was rude to ignore me completely for all this time. Maybe I am being harsh but I feel the moment has completely passed now

It sounds like he moved on to someone else and came back when it didn’t work out.

 

[yankydoo]

He swiped right for me.
I think I’ll be swiping left.


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I will give him one thing.. at least he's being honest and clear about what he wants. I hate it when men clearly want something casual but disguise it as something else

 

[NMK]

Hey girls, I posted at the beginning of this thread completely given up, when the restrictions were loosened before Christmas I went out for a drink with a substantial meal remember those days I met someone out and 3 months later we’re really happy we were both on hinge but actually met out and he’s never someone I would of gone for he came across as a cocky banker but he had a massive front up anyway things are really positive and I just wanted to share I’m also a single mummy to my beautiful 2 year old daughter a full time teacher and really didn’t want anything he also wanted someone care free and single but you can’t help who you meet and we’re both shocked because we are complete opposites if we matched on hinge he would of had the block straight away

 

[Pink blancmange]

Why are men posting selfies wearing their masks? Find it a bit cringe tbqh.

This!!! And I came across someone on Tinder who quoted in his bio that he's a keyworker . 3/4s of England are keyworkers you absolute bell end.