Dating after Lockdown

realhousewivewannabe · Jul 9, 2020

Hi All

so I avoided all dating apps etc during this time and I just do not know how I’m meant to meet someone with all this.

I thought 2020 was going to be the year I go out all the time, holidays, hobbies, and then BoOm I find my Prince Charming.

Instead I’ve sat at home for 4 months and stalked my ex

Any advice would be great!

yankydoo · Jul 9, 2020

Hi!

I feel exactly the same. This year I was going to be a social butterfly and meet new people out and about....lol!

I‘ve been back on the apps for a few weeks and have had some socially distanced dates. They have been walks and the odd picnic. I had this one this week where we went for a walk and then sat in a pub garden for a drink.

It is actually a nice way to date. The walks and being outdoors makes it clean cut and there’s less pressure as you have to be socially distanced.

Just bite the bullet and go for it. Get chatting to some people. It’s not too bad!

Edit to add that most people on the apps are respectful of the rules etc and up for socially distanced dates.

Peakyblinders · Jul 9, 2020

I wanted to start a dating thread so this is good - where has everyone met their partners? I am curious, because apart from dating apps i dont know where people meet. Never met anyone at work/gym/night out. Interested to see other peoples experiences. I am currently seeing someone but feel this is coming to an end and I am dreading getting back into the dating game.

realhousewivewannabe · Jul 9, 2020

I think after online dating last year after on and off since I was 21 I really thought I’d found someone last year. I just don’t think I can do online again as it’s just is draining / attacks my self esteem sometimes but if it looks like how I think (further lockdowns etc) I suppose I’ll have to

coconochanel · Jul 9, 2020

What about Instagram I thought that was where you meet people nowadays

toffeejelly · Jul 9, 2020

I definitely think there's a lot more sliding into people's DMs on Instagram going on nowadays

realhousewivewannabe · Jul 9, 2020

coconochanel said:
What about Instagram I thought that was where you meet people nowadays

Haha I met 2 guys on there all I can say is they ended up being crazy! One thought I could be his future wife after meeting me in person for 15 minutes and would call and text constantly. Told everyone about me, I had his friends follow me on Instagram, he was making plans and wanted me to come to weddings and things that were this year 2020 and we met like September last year. I had to block him it became overwhelming.

toffeejelly said:
I definitely think there's a lot more sliding into people's DMs on Instagram going on nowadays

There is but, I think sometimes they’re married, in a relationship or others! Instagram is hard as I’m realising a lot is fake, also My friends and I were chatting about when a guys Instagram full of selfies and vain shirtless pics. It can be a turn off, aswell as if all the people they follow are bikini/ tattoo / underwear models

coconochanel · Jul 9, 2020

toffeejelly said:
I definitely think there's a lot more sliding into people's DMs on Instagram going on nowadays

Oh a 100% .

Here's a dilemma, what do you do if you like a couple of pics on a guys IG account then release his has two accounts and he is active on the older one?

realhousewivewannabe · Jul 9, 2020

coconochanel said:
Oh a 100% .

Here's a dilemma, what do you do if you like a couple of pics on a guys IG account then release his has two accounts and he is active on the older one?

run for the hills

Bellaboo83 · Jul 9, 2020

I've just started Internet dating for the first time, my more (Tinder) experienced friend has told me I'm too trusting and innocent because I believe what every man tells me on there

Does anyone have a definitive list of Internet dating red flags for a novice just starting out like me!?

realhousewivewannabe · Jul 9, 2020

Bellaboo83 said:
I've just started Internet dating for the first time, my more (Tinder) experienced friend has told me I'm too trusting and innocent because I believe what every man tells me on there Does anyone have a definitive list of Internet dating red flags for a novice just starting out like me!?

I might write a book

your friend is right, stalk their social media if it’s linked to profile, it’ll help you see if there’s wife kids other etc, they’re probably chatting to loads of others so don’t get to hung up, ghosting happens a lot, it’s horrible but it’s the game, they may just old pics so have a call or FaceTime before you meet them. If they get sexual or creepy report and block.

Sunflower91 · Jul 9, 2020

I just signed up for a new app called Thursday. It only works on a Thursday every week which sounds perfect for me- it’s not released yet so I can’t say whether it’s good or bad. I find most apps just too time consuming/ I just forget to check messages or even reply. I’m honestly the worst. I think something where there’s a dedicated time and the ability to just meet someone for a drink is ideal for me.

bobthedragqueen · Jul 9, 2020

Guys, this thread is right up my street.

I have been on every dating app/dating website known to man so holler at me if you need advice on which one to try.

I met my boyfriend of just over a year (can't bloody believe I've been with someone that long because I actually hate men) on Hinge and highly recommend that if you're looking for something a bit more serious. Pains me to say but at 28, I sadly felt too old for Tinder.... Doesn't mean I was!

Peakyblinders · Jul 9, 2020

I’m 31 and I found tinder alright to be fair, and bumble.

anyone got any ghosting stories? I’ve been ghosted loads unfortunately haha x

coconochanel · Jul 9, 2020

Whats the best way to slide into someones DM'S?

Horatio · Jul 9, 2020

Also appreciate this thread, went through a serious break up just before lockdown (end of feb) and spent the first few months of it processing heartbreak while also chatting to guys on hinge I knew I’d never be able to meet anytime soon. I feel they had a similar perspective even if they weren’t going through a break up - lockdown happened so suddenly it became quite lonely by end of March / April. It was nice to be on a dating app just to chat to someone without the pressure to arrange a date hanging over you.

I stopped checking it for a while when I started chatting to my ex (he lives in America , we won’t be getting back together) but i have cautiously returned. Hinge is the only one I can stand. I agree with the 28 year old who felt too old for tinder- I’m 30 andit just doesn’t appeal like it did when I was 24 (nothing like dating apps to make you realise your age, seriously).
I tried bumble immediately after my break up but I’m not a fan of the format at all. Hinge is definitely the best I’ve tried, I like the shared focus on personality for the profile with pictures even if you see a lot of the same attempts at being clever / funny.

realhousewivewannabe · Jul 9, 2020

coconochanel said:
Whats the best way to slide into someones DM'S?

Like a few of their pics/ stories and just go for it! Hi, how are you etc etc

Peakyblinders · Jul 9, 2020

Horatio said:
Also appreciate this thread, went through a serious break up just before lockdown (end of feb) and spent the first few months of it processing heartbreak while also chatting to guys on hinge I knew I’d never be able to meet anytime soon. I feel they had a similar perspective even if they weren’t going through a break up - lockdown happened so suddenly it became quite lonely by end of March / April. It was nice to be on a dating app just to chat to someone without the pressure to arrange a date hanging over you.

I stopped checking it for a while when I started chatting to my ex (he lives in America , we won’t be getting back together) but i have cautiously returned. Hinge is the only one I can stand. I agree with the 28 year old who felt too old for tinder- I’m 30 andit just doesn’t appeal like it did when I was 24 (nothing like dating apps to make you realise your age, seriously).
I tried bumble immediately after my break up but I’m not a fan of the format at all. Hinge is definitely the best I’ve tried, I like the shared focus on personality for the profile with pictures even if you see a lot of the same attempts at being clever / funny.

it’s totally up to you but I wouldn’t go on the apps so soon after splitting with your ex. I made the mistake of doing that and although I definitely didn’t want to be with my ex and that was DEFFO over, I found it was way too soon. You need time to your self first but it’s up to you everyone’s situation is different x

coconochanel said:
Whats the best way to slide into someones DM'S?

I usually try to reply to one of their Instagram stories x

coconochanel · Jul 9, 2020

Peakyblinders said:
it’s totally up to you but I wouldn’t go on the apps so soon after splitting with your ex. I made the mistake of doing that and although I definitely didn’t want to be with my ex and that was DEFFO over, I found it was way too soon. You need time to your self first but it’s up to you everyone’s situation is different x

I usually try to reply to one of their Instagram stories x

He hasnt done any stories and hes not posted any pics lately so Im not sure if hes online.

bobthedragqueen · Jul 9, 2020

coconochanel said:
He hasnt done any stories and hes not posted any pics lately so Im not sure if hes online.

Maybe just message them and ask them if they're alive then?

Jokes aside... Just go for it! What have you got to lose

Horatio said:
Also appreciate this thread, went through a serious break up just before lockdown (end of feb) and spent the first few months of it processing heartbreak while also chatting to guys on hinge I knew I’d never be able to meet anytime soon. I feel they had a similar perspective even if they weren’t going through a break up - lockdown happened so suddenly it became quite lonely by end of March / April. It was nice to be on a dating app just to chat to someone without the pressure to arrange a date hanging over you.

I stopped checking it for a while when I started chatting to my ex (he lives in America , we won’t be getting back together) but i have cautiously returned. Hinge is the only one I can stand. I agree with the 28 year old who felt too old for tinder- I’m 30 andit just doesn’t appeal like it did when I was 24 (nothing like dating apps to make you realise your age, seriously).
I tried bumble immediately after my break up but I’m not a fan of the format at all. Hinge is definitely the best I’ve tried, I like the shared focus on personality for the profile with pictures even if you see a lot of the same attempts at being clever / funny.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt past it!

Sorry to hear you've gone through a break up recently and hope you're doing okay!
Completely agree about Bumble... I liked the concept because I'm not arsed about speaking first but always felt like I was shooting my shot and getting nowhere because of the 24 hour time your matches have to reply.