Dating after Lockdown

[realhousewivewannabe]

hi folks!
I can’t remember what date I started this thread but it finally happened.
I went on a date!!! It was random, last minute I know the guy through a friend.
we were on the date for hours! laughing, chatting drinking eating.

Then as we were sat in a bar Boris did his blooming announcement and were back in lockdown you can’t make this up.

I have been on my first date in over a year!

 

[sleepflowers]

This is how most men look to me

 

[holliebollie]

I’ve just re-read ‘He’s Just Not That into You’ which I read about 10 years ago. I know you shouldn’t need a flippant self help book to tell you but it has really helped. He takes a day to reply to you when you know he has his phone in his hand 20/24 hours? He’s just not that into you. He has a great excuse for cancelling a date/not getting serious? You’re still in touch but he doesn’t want a relationship? Hanging out but no romance? The list goes on. I feel like I’ve had an epiphany!

I met a man on Hinge recently. Asked if I was free on the Friday. Texted a few hours later and said it would be too late, let’s do Sunday instead. Sunday we were texting about the evening date venue. 4pm- he cancelled as he ‘wasn’t in the right headspace’ Had the date on the Tuesday (he was hot!) and he asked to have date two at the weekend. Friday came and he cancelled- no apology, just said can we do next week instead as he’s now going away. I archived the chat without replying. Next!

 

[LittleBird]

This!!! And I came across someone on Tinder who quoted in his bio that he's a keyworker . 3/4s of England are keyworkers you absolute bell end.

My best friend is dating a guy who worked at a testing centre and now has a new job. He wears his NHS Track and Trace jacket everywhere and it makes me want to vom

 

[under the ivy]

Why do we bother? So one sided.

View attachment 248247

You should reply back saying 'if you're an engineer maybe you could fix this conversation by making it more interesting'

 

[sleepflowers]

I keep getting likes from absolute creatures on Bumble. Men who are nearly 30 wearing snapbacks with designer goatees posing next to sports cars they don't own. What part of my music/theatre loving, mature and friendly librarian persona suggests to these men that I'd be interested in a guy like them

 

[yankydoo]

Another one bites the dust. Seeing a guy for two months. He pursued me (I was introduced to him), messaging daily, saw him loads etc etc. At Christmas he went quiet, leading to me questioning what he wants and he tells me he doesn’t want anything serious so I ended it. Same story over and over for me. Third time in the space of a year! This is men in their mid to late 30s too.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

I matched with someone 5 years younger than me () but didn’t really intend on messaging him. He extended the match on nye, so I thought I’d give him a chance and message him yesterday saying happy new year. He replied late last night saying “happy new year trouble ” and I got the instant ick. You’re 5 years younger than me, mate.

 

[Woolmercardington]

Argghh

How utterly annoying and demoralising is it when you match with a man, who you not only find attractive, but you seem to have a great instant rapport with. Lots of flirty, verbal sparring, which I absolutely love, but which very rarely happens and then... POOF!!!

Yes, this did just happen to me Not the first time by all means, but it it really can get lonely at times and those fun little messages can be a great pickmeup... in the end, though, you just end up feeling worse.

 

[LittleBird]

I agree with you all about the DRY conversation right now.
"How was your day"
Wellll... I get up, get ready and take ten steps to the kitchen to work for the next 8 hours and then spend the evening doing odd jobs, and if I'm really lucky, a trip to the shops once a week .
I am so bored of the talking stages I am ready to box it all off until the summer. I asked one guy I'm speaking to if he wanted to video call but apparently he has has migraine since the 17th of Feb . I follow him on insta and it hasn't stopped him going out on his bike and doing a bunch of DIY...

 

[HitchhikingGhost]

Talking to this guy over the weekend. Moved to texting and wow he is so negative. Of course people don't have to like the same things but a lot of things I liked, he has just shot down.

Asked if i liked dogs. I said i never owned one but I have nothing against them. Said he thinks they are overrated and belong in nature and that people use them as personality traits.

Doesn't like formal dating as sitting opposite each other talking is the worst. Doesn't like getting dressed up or make up on girls.

I asked what he would rather do (if covid not around) and he said go for a walk. Doesn't drink or like going to bars. Doesn't like theme parks/zoos says they are boring.
I asked surely there must be other things you like to do with someone to get to know them and he hasn't replied/left me on read. Says it all really

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Jesus.

 

[bobthedragqueen]

Guys, this thread is right up my street.

I have been on every dating app/dating website known to man so holler at me if you need advice on which one to try.

I met my boyfriend of just over a year (can't bloody believe I've been with someone that long because I actually hate men) on Hinge and highly recommend that if you're looking for something a bit more serious. Pains me to say but at 28, I sadly felt too old for Tinder.... Doesn't mean I was!

 

[Eyerollbrainache]

Update: long story short. I have the ICK +more. I felt really anxious all night last night and this morning. Anyway I saw him today and It was too much, he also came across a bit forceful.

Spoiler: what happened

He grabbed my hand to his whilst hugging me and whispered in my ear what he wants to do to me . He kissed me a few times today and I didn’t kiss back but he kept on going, tongue and all. I guess it was too good to be right

I can’t edit my post anymore but I’m ok just feel a bit sick/shocked this is what happened in the end. Wasn’t as fun as Thursday for me and there could have been so much potential . I don’t know if it’s lockdown that’s made guys a bit full on??
Anyway absolutely no more dates for me!

Are you ok? That's absolutely not OK - he's disgusting.

Some men are absolute pigs and I doubt lockdown made him this way. I would say that if he couldn't even behave on a second date, then don't worry about lost potential because you don't need that shit from any one!

I've dated men before who are absolutely foul like that. I also dated the nicest guy ever who would ask if I would comfortable etc
He would also ask before even putting his hand on my leg while we were watching TV if he was allowed to do that. He opened my eyes to the fact that if he can do that, there's no excuse for shitty behaviour from others.

Hope you're OK. Xx

 

[square_spoon]

I’m completely off the apps - had enough of them before COVID ever came along and the fact that I wouldn’t be able to meet up with anyone in person during COVID was the push I needed to cut the chord. But I miss the excitement of the build up to a date and actually wearing real shoes and throwing on my sex knickers (just in case haha). I’m almost hopeful post-COVID dating will be more direct and less bs to be honest!

 

[under the ivy]

I’ve been feeling lonely over Christmas but reading this thread has solidified how much I DON’T want to date a man for a long long time!

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

But in reality for me 95% of conversations ended after 4 messages, guys routinely send one word replies, only talk about themselves and rarely ask questions.

THIS It’s the not asking questions for me. You end up feeling like you’re interviewing them.

I went on a date with a guy last year and by the end of it, I could have written his autobiography for him including a chapter on each of his 4 siblings, his parents and every job he’s had for the last 6 years. He wouldn’t have been able to tell me anything about myself apart from my name and what car I drive.

 

[yankydoo]

I take back being nice....just had another phone date and he actually sounds like a 40 year old criminal who still lives with mummy and stares at children in the street. Such a scary voice... I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m unmatching

 

[Caramel Latte]

Yesterday i started following one of my crushes (lol) on Instagram and he followed back and started a conversation. I was embarrassingly excited

 

[Pink blancmange]

so what if someone new joins the workplace and ask him if he has any kids?! What does he say?! This has fascinated me!! How have you kept it a secret!?!!

He only mentions the child he already has! He tried to bully me into abortion which I wouldn't do, there was no contraception used on either side which he was fully aware of but he 'didnt think I'd fall pregnant' . He made it clear he wanted no part of babies life so I decided to go it alone and just not mention he was the dad. Although baby is the absolute double of him so I think if it ever comes out that he is the father everyone will wonder how they never realised . But when colleagues ask if dad has seen baby yet I always like to tell them what a selfish piece of shit he is especially when he's in ear shot