Dating after lockdown #6 Block him!

[BekkaBoo]

What do you do when the person you’re seeing is having a hard time? He’s gained a large amount of weigh, the early nights of feeling fed up have crept in and today he has spent the entire day in bed

This happened in 2019 but he pushed me away and hid it from me, it broke my heart. This time he’s happy to tell me about it so I’m assuming I just be there when he needs me and give him space when he needs that?

I think maybe some gentle encouragement to get some professional help/support if they're open to that. Then, as the others said, mind yourself and look out for how it's impacting you. You can get dragged in and down in these situations without even realising its happening. So sorry to hear this Laurie

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

What do you do when the person you’re seeing is having a hard time? He’s gained a large amount of weigh, the early nights of feeling fed up have crept in and today he has spent the entire day in bed

This happened in 2019 but he pushed me away and hid it from me, it broke my heart. This time he’s happy to tell me about it so I’m assuming I just be there when he needs me and give him space when he needs that?

Is this the person you are currently seeing, that you said was a bit unsure about himself?

Maybe if he doesn't want to go to therapy you could direct him to online tools, like BetterHelp or podcasts like Psychology in Seattle.

 

[Woolmercardington]

Morning all! New month and the profiles just never get any better

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

I wonder if he leaves the mask on at all times?

 

[Universal]

Hi all. What is the nicest way to say thanks but no thanks after a first date? I have had one real life date and talked to another bloke a few times on the 'phone. First man is perfect on paper and we got on well but I am not attracted to him despite him being my usual type. He has asked me on a second date.

I second man was nice on the phone but gets quite animated talking about his ex, telling me repeatedly that despite the fact that she left him he was too good for her. Its put me off him.

I am quite a people pleaser in my real life which is a contrast to my attitude in work. I have decided I dont want to see/speak to either so do I just say that but in a nice way?

 

[HelloStereo]

Hi all. What is the nicest way to say thanks but no thanks after a first date? I have had one real life date and talked to another bloke a few times on the 'phone. First man is perfect on paper and we got on well but I am not attracted to him despite him being my usual type. He has asked me on a second date.

I second man was nice on the phone but gets quite animated talking about his ex, telling me repeatedly that despite the fact that she left him he was too good for her. Its put me off him.

I am quite a people pleaser in my real life which is a contrast to my attitude in work. I have decided I dont want to see/speak to either so do I just say that but in a nice way?

Just say something like "hello, I have had time to think over the date and whilst I enjoyed meeting you I wasn't feeling any chemistry".

 

[Universal]

Thank you @HelloStereo clearly I was totally overthinking it all!!

 

[HelloStereo]

Thank you @HelloStereo clearly I was totally overthinking it all!!

It's horrible and awkward having to let someone down I think, but it's just the nature of dating.

 

[Alexaj]

I'm going to give an unpopular opinion... Sometimes you need a second date. It's only because I was too chicken to say no to a second date that I'm with my current partner. (Changed my mind on second date)

 

[Captainmouse]

Hi all. What is the nicest way to say thanks but no thanks after a first date? I have had one real life date and talked to another bloke a few times on the 'phone. First man is perfect on paper and we got on well but I am not attracted to him despite him being my usual type. He has asked me on a second date.

I second man was nice on the phone but gets quite animated talking about his ex, telling me repeatedly that despite the fact that she left him he was too good for her. Its put me off him.

I am quite a people pleaser in my real life which is a contrast to my attitude in work. I have decided I dont want to see/speak to either so do I just say that but in a nice way?

Sometimes attraction isn’t immediate.

 

[Universal]

I'm going to give an unpopular opinion... Sometimes you need a second date. It's only because I was too chicken to say no to a second date that I'm with my current partner. (Changed my mind on second date)

I just know its not there for me with man no1 and a second date wont change that. I tend to be instinctive about people which usually works out well but I should possibly be more open minded when dating. I feel like I am playing games with myself in my head!!!

 

[Bettyboo2021]

What I normally do is wait until they text me, if they don’t then great it’s mutual and I don’t need to tell them...if they’re pushing for a second date then yes defo tell them. Only reason I say this is I had a great date with someone I liked, and he didn’t text afterwards so I accepted that was that. I got a text 2 days later saying he wasn’t interested and I was upset because I thought we really got in. Silence is a good option unless they reach out to you xxx

 

[ComeForTheX StayForTheY]

It's horrible and awkward having to let someone down I think, but it's just the nature of dating.

Some people can be really polite back/take it really well, and then you wonder why you spent hours agonising over sending that message ! But then if they get aggressive, defensive, questioning just block em
Nobody should be that emotionally invested after 1 or 2 dates and if they are then that's a massive red flag so you are well rid of them. I also think, trust your initial instinct, if you aren't feeling it after date 1 why prolong it.

 

[Universal]

Thanks all. You are right, its not like I am ending something I am telling a stranger I don't want another date. Hopefully I will get better at this. I just wish there was another way to meet someone as this really doesn't suit my personality, I see it as a chore. But, I want to meet someone so I have no choice!

 

[HelloStereo]

Some people can be really polite back/take it really well, and then you wonder why you spent hours agonising over sending that message ! But then if they get aggressive, defensive, questioning just block em
Nobody should be that emotionally invested after 1 or 2 dates and if they are then that's a massive red flag so you are well rid of them. I also think, trust your initial instinct, if you aren't feeling it after date 1 why prolong it.

I agree. Usually they will just say "okay thank you for letting me know. All the best" or something. If they get angry if you tell them and start trying to convince you to change your mind etc then you're better off out of there anyway.

I agree with trusting your instinct too. No need to string them along with multiple dates if you're certain you're not interested in pursuing anything with them.

 

[misscl4]

Can someone interpret this for me? What does it mean?

 

[Universal]

View attachment 690981
Can someone interpret this for me? What does it mean?

I read it that he is questioning his sexuality?

 

[Mr Sparkle]

View attachment 690981
Can someone interpret this for me? What does it mean?

I'd take that to mean bicurious.

 

[Universal]

Thanks for the advice - I texted them both and one has sent a lovely reply so hopefully I worded it well.

I have been having flick through other profiles. Honestly, what kind of women are attracted to profiles where the man sells himself by 'not having any addictions' or his best feature is that he can drive?

 

[HelloStereo]

Thanks for the advice - I texted them both and one has sent a lovely reply so hopefully I worded it well.

I have been having flick through other profiles. Honestly, what kind of women are attracted to profiles where the man sells himself by 'not having any addictions' or his best feature is that he can drive?

Haha the standard of profiles I come across are so low that would be a huge plus in my eyes

View attachment 690981
Can someone interpret this for me? What does it mean?

Is he saying he is straight but also questioning how he presents his gender (sorry I'm not sure of the correct term here)?