Woolmercardington
VIP Member
Jesus, this is like a selfie a serial killer might take 
- Notice
This.is.me
VIP Member
Had to post these after reading some of the previous comments…
LittleBird
Well-known member
I've got a 2nd date arranged with the 8 hour date guy for weekend after next as I'm away.
He's planned it all out, booked all the tables and when I asked if he wanted me to do anything, he said just turn up hungry and ready to have a good time. I don't think I've had a man be this proactive in years. He's booked us a boozy brunch (my absolute fave) and then an exhibition in town.
Don't wanna jinx it girls but this one seems like a good egg!
He's planned it all out, booked all the tables and when I asked if he wanted me to do anything, he said just turn up hungry and ready to have a good time. I don't think I've had a man be this proactive in years. He's booked us a boozy brunch (my absolute fave) and then an exhibition in town.
Don't wanna jinx it girls but this one seems like a good egg!
Woolmercardington
VIP Member
Easy mistake to make.
ThreeSteaksPam
Chatty Member
Louder for the people in the back
I could literally give TED talks on this subject. Some people will settle for anything just to say they have something.
Hello all! I’ve lurked on this thread for a while but thought it was time to finally post myself. It’s great that there’s a community on here trudging through the same trenches of awful men!
I’m in my early-mid twenties so I’m not expecting anyone to be super ready for commitment, or wanting anything overly serious myself really, but why does it seem to be sooo hard to get anywhere?! I barely swipe right because the quality of men on apps is so low. I try not to be shallow but even just the *style* of photo says enough about a person to make me swerve them. I’m fed up of carrying conversations, even dropping little openers/hints that would allow funny replies, only to be met with the same old dry conversation. Honestly, my back hurts, and not in the way that I want it to from dating! I really don’t get how so many of my friends have met their partners in this way.
When things go quiet, it’s so easy to start over analysing everything I’ve said, what I look like, etc. But honestly, most men are just the best of a bad bunch and are lucky I’m giving them the time of day in the first place! Like I said, I try not to be shallow, and my self-confidence isn’t always the highest to be honest, but when I zoom out, I’m actually far too well-presented, funny and intelligent to be sat wondering why sub-par men have seemingly lost interest. And that is definitely the case for you lovely ladies on here too!
I flit between feeling sad that romance and relationships seem so easy for everyone else while I’m still waiting for it to happen for me, and thinking that actually I’m more than fine on my own and couldn’t think of anything worse than having to make an effort with a man day in day out haha. I think I’m just going to enjoy being young and independent and hope that I can meet someone lovely in person one day because dating apps are the absolute pits at the moment! Fingers crossed for you all
I’m in my early-mid twenties so I’m not expecting anyone to be super ready for commitment, or wanting anything overly serious myself really, but why does it seem to be sooo hard to get anywhere?! I barely swipe right because the quality of men on apps is so low. I try not to be shallow but even just the *style* of photo says enough about a person to make me swerve them. I’m fed up of carrying conversations, even dropping little openers/hints that would allow funny replies, only to be met with the same old dry conversation. Honestly, my back hurts, and not in the way that I want it to from dating! I really don’t get how so many of my friends have met their partners in this way.
When things go quiet, it’s so easy to start over analysing everything I’ve said, what I look like, etc. But honestly, most men are just the best of a bad bunch and are lucky I’m giving them the time of day in the first place! Like I said, I try not to be shallow, and my self-confidence isn’t always the highest to be honest, but when I zoom out, I’m actually far too well-presented, funny and intelligent to be sat wondering why sub-par men have seemingly lost interest. And that is definitely the case for you lovely ladies on here too!
I flit between feeling sad that romance and relationships seem so easy for everyone else while I’m still waiting for it to happen for me, and thinking that actually I’m more than fine on my own and couldn’t think of anything worse than having to make an effort with a man day in day out haha. I think I’m just going to enjoy being young and independent and hope that I can meet someone lovely in person one day because dating apps are the absolute pits at the moment! Fingers crossed for you all
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ThreeSteaksPam
Chatty Member
You know what would be banter? 
If there was some way we could get all the men we’ve annihilated on here to attend as well. Blue Ticks, Tinder Toyboy, 48 Year Old, Laundry Basket Spunker, the whole lot of them. Like a really sick reunion episode of Real Housewives with @LaurieLaurie playing the role of Andy Cohen and maybe a special guest appearance by Roger Thunderfooking Farnsworth. My life would be made
If there was some way we could get all the men we’ve annihilated on here to attend as well. Blue Ticks, Tinder Toyboy, 48 Year Old, Laundry Basket Spunker, the whole lot of them. Like a really sick reunion episode of Real Housewives with @LaurieLaurie playing the role of Andy Cohen and maybe a special guest appearance by Roger Thunderfooking Farnsworth. My life would be made
Woolmercardington
VIP Member
It's a really feckin' scary time to be a nan when your grandson is on a dating appExhibit A
The dying relative....
Spot on. Exactly what happened to me with Tinder Toyboy. No, "Hey, I'm so sorry to have left you hanging like that but my nan had an accident, etc." Instead a totally random 'how's your week been?' message after vanishing midway through arranging a date and silence for six days!If that genuinely happened, wouldn't you be like "hey so sorry I've been off the radar, unfortunately xyz happened and I didn't feel up to messaging. Hope you had a good weekend" etc
But funnily enough it's only when guys get called out, they suddenly reveal the devastating reason they've not been in touch
It was only when I challenged him, it was,
MY NAN ALMOST DIEDHis nan was probably out in the garden doing bloody cartwheels.
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LaurieLaurie
VIP Member
Don’t respond to this.Ok so I did actually get a reply...on the surface it’s a perfectly ok message except he’s asking me questions then the last sentence “you take care and be happy” you patronising c**t!! I AM happy, I never ever have told you otherwise and for self respect I never EVER would!! Why ask questions and at the same time sign off with that sentence
realhousewivewannabe
VIP Member
I can’t believe I’m typing this but here we go. I’ve been on 3 dates since last Friday all different men 
all spontaneous.
last Friday I went on a date drinks/food anyway in the car ride back the guy kissed me initially I didn’t want to kiss him back but I couldn’t deny there was something so attractive about him. Now I don’t know if it was the cocktails I had or what but I felt a twinge/flutter during the kisses. Like did I actually just have fanny flutters?! Is that what it felt like
.
We’re meeting again he said but I don’t know if he’s the “right person for me”. but I want to kiss him again to see if I get that feeling (never had that haha)
Sundays date was fun too, we spoke all this week and I wasn’t feeling too well he offered to drop round chocolate for me (we live in the same place like 2 mins away) and he said he wanted to call me after the gym on Thursday but I never heard from him
(Honestly I’m not that fussed tbh we had a nice evening out, nice to meet someone new and it didn’t really cost me anything)
Yesterday, I went to coffee with one but when he arrived I saw it more as a meet someone and leave again situation plus he’s a bit too quiet for me.
Now… I’m soooo excited for my date tomorrow. we started talking about two weeks ago now and he immediately booked our restaurant once we settled on the day. Due to our social life etc we couldn’t meet sooner.
Over the past week he’s sent me messages, voicenotes/ pictures or riddles everyday of clues I’ve had to work out. To lead to where we are going for brunch in London. I’ve worked it out and it’s so cute. We have just spoken on the phone discussed where to meet / tube and I’m buzzing. I can’t lie this has been the sweetest thing a guys done to plan a date for me and I hope it turns out well
I guess in a way something has switched with me this week where I’m not trying to get attached more just enjoy being outside / meeting people.
all spontaneous.last Friday I went on a date drinks/food anyway in the car ride back the guy kissed me initially I didn’t want to kiss him back but I couldn’t deny there was something so attractive about him. Now I don’t know if it was the cocktails I had or what but I felt a twinge/flutter during the kisses. Like did I actually just have fanny flutters?! Is that what it felt like
.We’re meeting again he said but I don’t know if he’s the “right person for me”. but I want to kiss him again to see if I get that feeling (never had that haha)
Sundays date was fun too, we spoke all this week and I wasn’t feeling too well he offered to drop round chocolate for me (we live in the same place like 2 mins away) and he said he wanted to call me after the gym on Thursday but I never heard from him
(Honestly I’m not that fussed tbh we had a nice evening out, nice to meet someone new and it didn’t really cost me anything) Yesterday, I went to coffee with one but when he arrived I saw it more as a meet someone and leave again situation plus he’s a bit too quiet for me.
Now… I’m soooo excited for my date tomorrow. we started talking about two weeks ago now and he immediately booked our restaurant once we settled on the day. Due to our social life etc we couldn’t meet sooner.
Over the past week he’s sent me messages, voicenotes/ pictures or riddles everyday of clues I’ve had to work out. To lead to where we are going for brunch in London. I’ve worked it out and it’s so cute. We have just spoken on the phone discussed where to meet / tube and I’m buzzing. I can’t lie this has been the sweetest thing a guys done to plan a date for me and I hope it turns out well
I guess in a way something has switched with me this week where I’m not trying to get attached more just enjoy being outside / meeting people.
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theweekend
Well-known member
I think some can just naturally vibe with more people in life whereas you (and me) find that connection is really rare. However I also think a lot of people fake it, and are determined to see any situation/potential partner through to a relationship and will then stick with it even if they're not in love.
I have friends that will date the first person they meet on a dating app, next thing they're exclusive and then in a relationship - meanwhile I'm getting ghosted and binning off multiple weirdos/timewasters/dickheads left right and centre. I think how have they got it so easy?! Then they eventually break up and suddenly you're hearing about all of these issues that had been kept quiet whilst they were together. Always makes me think that the same bad behaviour and red flags we all experience probably did crop up in the beginning, but were ignored. Some people always have to have someone and will pursue anyone that shows them interest until they're in another relationship
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Thank(space)you
VIP Member
He said he wants to calm down with the drinking because it's a waste of money and makes him down. So on a Sunday when he said he was going on a sesh I suggested maybe waiting until Tuesday when the football was on. He replied "fuck off you cunt" so I said I don't appreciate being sworn at. His response was to tell me to stop being a fucking sensitive fanny.
ETA this was via voice note so I could hear tone etc
LaurieLaurie
VIP Member
Remember the friend I talked about a week or so ago.. He had three girls on the go? They’ve all dumped him within the space of about three days He’s all over Instagram reposting soppy quotes feeling wounded.
He’s all over Instagram reposting soppy quotes feeling wounded.
Clickbait
VIP Member
I’m no longer on the apps. I met someone from Bumble at the start of last year, we decided to do lockdown together (he moved in with me) and fortunately it all worked out and we’re in the process of buying a house together. I was about to take a break from dating after way too many soul destroying encounters but it was New Year’s Day and I was bored and hungover on the sofa and fancied a conversation.
Before him I was in a 4+ year relationship with someone I met on Tinder so the apps do work I guess. But I spent many, many years dating - easily had 300+ first dates and have a lot of bad date stories. Train ticket collector was just the tip of the iceberg! I’m part of the thread more in solidarity because I know how awful it can be - the bad dates, the mad dates, the good dates who turn bad etc.
When I was dating in 2019 after a good few years away from it I found that men’s behaviour had got dramatically worse in terms of the lack of respect shown, the dehumanisation of the other person and total lack of acknowledgment that we have feelings and emotions and are not just a collection of body parts that they want to play with.
I had:
* a narcissist love bomber who turned deranged
* two men lie through their teeth about wanting a relationship to get me into bed and then suddenly not be looking for anything serious
* a man fall out with me because I beat him at Scrabble. He also kept sending me voice notes of him singing and he couldn’t sing
* a man ghost me in the middle of a conversation about meeting up who popped up months later acting like nothing had happened
* a catfish who used photos that were 10+ years old and when he turned up he looked like he’d eaten his former self (he took up a whole 2-seater sofa)
* a man find me on LinkedIn despite my email account not being linked to it, not using the same photo and not giving him my full name (who also turned up outside my office pretending he’d just happened to bump into me)
* a compulsive liar who made up loads of stuff about owning a company (which didn’t exist) and wanting to take me on holiday and when we finally arranged a date he had managed to “leave his wallet at home” - I went to the bar got myself a drink and got him a tap water on principle
* a man who behaved on the date that he was really bored, only ordered 3 small dishes in the restaurant I’d suggested for our meal (which we split the bill for) and then grab me in the street to kiss me without warning and pinch my bum with such ferocity he left me with bruises
* a man use his dying father as an excuse to ghost me despite us having a great first date and him organising a second date on it.
They were in the space of 9 months! It was exhausting and emotionally difficult to process it all. That’s why when I spot burnout in a few of you I suggest taking a break. They will all still be there when you get back, but when it’s becoming a chore and a challenge it’s good to walk away and reconnect with things that are enjoyable and light hearted.
Before him I was in a 4+ year relationship with someone I met on Tinder so the apps do work I guess. But I spent many, many years dating - easily had 300+ first dates and have a lot of bad date stories. Train ticket collector was just the tip of the iceberg! I’m part of the thread more in solidarity because I know how awful it can be - the bad dates, the mad dates, the good dates who turn bad etc.
When I was dating in 2019 after a good few years away from it I found that men’s behaviour had got dramatically worse in terms of the lack of respect shown, the dehumanisation of the other person and total lack of acknowledgment that we have feelings and emotions and are not just a collection of body parts that they want to play with.
I had:
* a narcissist love bomber who turned deranged
* two men lie through their teeth about wanting a relationship to get me into bed and then suddenly not be looking for anything serious
* a man fall out with me because I beat him at Scrabble. He also kept sending me voice notes of him singing and he couldn’t sing
* a man ghost me in the middle of a conversation about meeting up who popped up months later acting like nothing had happened
* a catfish who used photos that were 10+ years old and when he turned up he looked like he’d eaten his former self (he took up a whole 2-seater sofa)
* a man find me on LinkedIn despite my email account not being linked to it, not using the same photo and not giving him my full name (who also turned up outside my office pretending he’d just happened to bump into me)
* a compulsive liar who made up loads of stuff about owning a company (which didn’t exist) and wanting to take me on holiday and when we finally arranged a date he had managed to “leave his wallet at home” - I went to the bar got myself a drink and got him a tap water on principle
* a man who behaved on the date that he was really bored, only ordered 3 small dishes in the restaurant I’d suggested for our meal (which we split the bill for) and then grab me in the street to kiss me without warning and pinch my bum with such ferocity he left me with bruises
* a man use his dying father as an excuse to ghost me despite us having a great first date and him organising a second date on it.
They were in the space of 9 months! It was exhausting and emotionally difficult to process it all. That’s why when I spot burnout in a few of you I suggest taking a break. They will all still be there when you get back, but when it’s becoming a chore and a challenge it’s good to walk away and reconnect with things that are enjoyable and light hearted.
ComeForTheX StayForTheY
Well-known member
@Not_A_Troll you said you feel uncomfortable and he's given you the ick previously. Stick to your gut instinct & good sense and delete his number and don't get further involved. He asked you about your pubic hair early on?!?! Gross, that's not normal. If I met a stranger in a bar & they asked me that in an attempt to flirt/ strike up conversation I'd run a mile? I feel like the grossness of men on apps has become normalised to the point where you think you're over reacting. Believe me you are not!!