Dating after lockdown #6 Block him!

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I’ve vaguely mentioned it as with a South African so I now always swipe left for them because I’m convinced the entire nation hate me.

I arrived at 6pm and saw him, didn’t particularly fancy him but I tend to get on with everyone so thought i’ll have a couple of drinks and meet someone new. He went to the bar and got me a drink (that probably took at least three of the 19 minutes!), then we talked about our jobs and a festival I’d just been to and then he just said ‘I’m going to be honest, I’m really not feeling you. You’re really not my type’. I was so humiliated I basically had my coat on before he’d finished the sentence and chugged my wine and darted out the bar blocking his number on the way out,

The only positive was that I’d only gone on the date because I was trying to keep my options open and not put all my eggs in the basket of a gorgeous welsh man I’d been dating. I rang my sister at 6.20 (which is how I know it lasted exactly 19 minutes) and said to her at dating was soul destroying and all eggs were going firmly in the Welshmans basket and he and Iwere together for 5 years after that!
Oh god this is what I fear will happen to me and I'd probably burst into tears lol.... maybe I shouldn't be dating or attempting to 🤣 destined to be hit on by married men and forever alone
 
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I’ve vaguely mentioned it as with a South African so I now always swipe left for them because I’m convinced the entire nation hate me.

I arrived at 6pm and saw him, didn’t particularly fancy him but I tend to get on with everyone so thought i’ll have a couple of drinks and meet someone new. He went to the bar and got me a drink (that probably took at least three of the 19 minutes!), then we talked about our jobs and a festival I’d just been to and then he just said ‘I’m going to be honest, I’m really not feeling you. You’re really not my type’. I was so humiliated I basically had my coat on before he’d finished the sentence and chugged my wine and darted out the bar blocking his number on the way out,

The only positive was that I’d only gone on the date because I was trying to keep my options open and not put all my eggs in the basket of a gorgeous welsh man I’d been dating. I rang my sister at 6.20 (which is how I know it lasted exactly 19 minutes) and said to her at dating was soul destroying and all eggs were going firmly in the Welshmans basket and he and Iwere together for 5 years after that!
I had that before (although after a few more drinks and lots of money spent). I agree it is humiliating and it feels much nicer if they just text afterwards to say they felt no chemistry. I'm sorry that happened to you x
 
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I had that before (although after a few more drinks and lots of money spent). I agree it is humiliating and it feels much nicer if they just text afterwards to say they felt no chemistry. I'm sorry that happened to you x
Thank you, I honestly find it quite funny when I think about it now, 10 years down the line, though. I wish I could see the cctv of myself downing a large glass of wine and running out that bar. Also with time passing I realise he just wasn’t a nice person and no bad thing that I didn’t have to waste more than 19 minutes finding that out!
 
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So I had a first date 1.5 weeks ago and have now seen him a few times since then… some smaller catch ups like quick lunch during the work day, some longer like hanging out at mine and staying up till 1am on a work night when I get up at 5-6am 🤦‍♀️ I have a child and majority care of him so I usually can’t see someone this much but he doesn’t play games and we’ve just been able to make it work. I haven’t slept with him yet but I really really like him. Like a lot. We just click, we have really good meaningful chats but also lots of banter and laughter and I just have such a good time with him. No red flags that I can see so far and a few green ones lol. He gives me compliments but nothing over the top. The problem is, I think because of my dating history I’m just so anxious about it and so worried he’s just going to ditch me out of nowhere and I’ll get hurt. I really don’t think it’s anything to do with him, but I’m worried I’ll ruin it because of me feeling like that. Last night we were talking about online dating and various aspects of it, and he said he wasn’t seeing anyone else, and we talked about ghosting etc. And because of my anxiety about it all I said if you decide you don’t want to see me again can you just let me know and he was like “yeah, but I do” and I was like “yeah but if you change your mind or anything just tell me” and he was like “ok, but I do want to see you again, I like you”.
It just seems too good to be true. And not in a red flaggy way, just that I really feel a connection and I really like him. And I feel like I’m too damaged for him, and he hasn’t done much online dating (I was his second date) so he will for sure find something better. Why am I like this 😔 I really really don’t want to ruin this but I don’t know how to feel secure in it and relax and just let whatever happens play out, and just go with it.
 
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So I had a first date 1.5 weeks ago and have now seen him a few times since then… some smaller catch ups like quick lunch during the work day, some longer like hanging out at mine and staying up till 1am on a work night when I get up at 5-6am 🤦‍♀️ I have a child and majority care of him so I usually can’t see someone this much but he doesn’t play games and we’ve just been able to make it work. I haven’t slept with him yet but I really really like him. Like a lot. We just click, we have really good meaningful chats but also lots of banter and laughter and I just have such a good time with him. No red flags that I can see so far and a few green ones lol. He gives me compliments but nothing over the top. The problem is, I think because of my dating history I’m just so anxious about it and so worried he’s just going to ditch me out of nowhere and I’ll get hurt. I really don’t think it’s anything to do with him, but I’m worried I’ll ruin it because of me feeling like that. Last night we were talking about online dating and various aspects of it, and he said he wasn’t seeing anyone else, and we talked about ghosting etc. And because of my anxiety about it all I said if you decide you don’t want to see me again can you just let me know and he was like “yeah, but I do” and I was like “yeah but if you change your mind or anything just tell me” and he was like “ok, but I do want to see you again, I like you”.
It just seems too good to be true. And not in a red flaggy way, just that I really feel a connection and I really like him. And I feel like I’m too damaged for him, and he hasn’t done much online dating (I was his second date) so he will for sure find something better. Why am I like this 😔 I really really don’t want to ruin this but I don’t know how to feel secure in it and relax and just let whatever happens play out, and just go with it.
It's so hard when you've had bad experiences 😪 the last guy I was seeing was like the guy you mentioned. Absolutely lovely and I always joked he would ghost me and made a bit of a deal about it. In the end he was right he didn't ghost me... he just phased me out instead and used the old too busy with work and tried to blame it on me not being able to handle that he was busy 🤦🏻‍♀️ just try to enjoy it and don't be too in your head 🧡 easier said then done I know!
 
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So I had a first date 1.5 weeks ago and have now seen him a few times since then… some smaller catch ups like quick lunch during the work day, some longer like hanging out at mine and staying up till 1am on a work night when I get up at 5-6am 🤦‍♀️ I have a child and majority care of him so I usually can’t see someone this much but he doesn’t play games and we’ve just been able to make it work. I haven’t slept with him yet but I really really like him. Like a lot. We just click, we have really good meaningful chats but also lots of banter and laughter and I just have such a good time with him. No red flags that I can see so far and a few green ones lol. He gives me compliments but nothing over the top. The problem is, I think because of my dating history I’m just so anxious about it and so worried he’s just going to ditch me out of nowhere and I’ll get hurt. I really don’t think it’s anything to do with him, but I’m worried I’ll ruin it because of me feeling like that. Last night we were talking about online dating and various aspects of it, and he said he wasn’t seeing anyone else, and we talked about ghosting etc. And because of my anxiety about it all I said if you decide you don’t want to see me again can you just let me know and he was like “yeah, but I do” and I was like “yeah but if you change your mind or anything just tell me” and he was like “ok, but I do want to see you again, I like you”.
It just seems too good to be true. And not in a red flaggy way, just that I really feel a connection and I really like him. And I feel like I’m too damaged for him, and he hasn’t done much online dating (I was his second date) so he will for sure find something better. Why am I like this 😔 I really really don’t want to ruin this but I don’t know how to feel secure in it and relax and just let whatever happens play out, and just go with it.
I think it is good that you are talking to him about your fears and worries. You are not too damaged ❤ You just had some bad experiences, like all of us.

Flat tyre which he realised when he had driven to the shop.
I said it's fine and played it cool, but then he sent me a picture of his tyre pressure. I asked why he sent that and he said in case I thought he was lying. Which I think seems very odd?
Maybe he also had some bad experiences, had been accused of lying before or had a girlfriend that was very suspicious.
 
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Re thread title - I suggested one a few pages back but not sure which page it was! Edit: Post #815

I really don't understand people with the wrong name on their profile. I was chatting to a guy called Joe for a while, but his profile name was 'Boe' and that's all I could think of him as 😂
 
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I don't think this date is happening later if I'm honest. The convo appears to have stopped his end already but was limited before. Ghosted already lol I give up
 
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So I had a first date 1.5 weeks ago and have now seen him a few times since then… some smaller catch ups like quick lunch during the work day, some longer like hanging out at mine and staying up till 1am on a work night when I get up at 5-6am 🤦‍♀️ I have a child and majority care of him so I usually can’t see someone this much but he doesn’t play games and we’ve just been able to make it work. I haven’t slept with him yet but I really really like him. Like a lot. We just click, we have really good meaningful chats but also lots of banter and laughter and I just have such a good time with him. No red flags that I can see so far and a few green ones lol. He gives me compliments but nothing over the top. The problem is, I think because of my dating history I’m just so anxious about it and so worried he’s just going to ditch me out of nowhere and I’ll get hurt. I really don’t think it’s anything to do with him, but I’m worried I’ll ruin it because of me feeling like that. Last night we were talking about online dating and various aspects of it, and he said he wasn’t seeing anyone else, and we talked about ghosting etc. And because of my anxiety about it all I said if you decide you don’t want to see me again can you just let me know and he was like “yeah, but I do” and I was like “yeah but if you change your mind or anything just tell me” and he was like “ok, but I do want to see you again, I like you”.
It just seems too good to be true. And not in a red flaggy way, just that I really feel a connection and I really like him. And I feel like I’m too damaged for him, and he hasn’t done much online dating (I was his second date) so he will for sure find something better. Why am I like this 😔 I really really don’t want to ruin this but I don’t know how to feel secure in it and relax and just let whatever happens play out, and just go with it.
You are like me! I have been hurt loads in the past that when I met my current boyfriend (3.5yrs ago) I just felt he was too good to be true and I was waiting on him to hurt me which he never has. Obviously its not all picture perfect and we have fall outs etc which is normal but he hasn't hurt me, but its just so hard to shake the thought of history repeating itself. I still find myself saying sometimes, if you don't want to be with me just tell me and he tells me I'm being paranoid, that he is going nowhere lol. Honestly, just try to enjoy your time with this guy. Who knows where it could lead, here I am 3.5yrs later still smitten :)
 
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