Dating after lockdown #4 The bar for men is so low it's in hell

[Woolmercardington]

So, had another bloke message me yesterday morning on Tinder. He's pretty handsome and he took something I put in my profile and really ran with. He's been quite funny and made a very good effort in initial messages.

He's ginger and I put that he was just lucky that I have a soft spot for cheeky redheads. Then I just got this message...

I don't know what to say now

 

[mehere]

Maybe text him suggesting some other dates so he knows you're still keen to meet?

How long would you have had with him? When you say he was travelling from up north do you mean from North London to South London?

Sorry I wasn't clear - he's based in North London.

So I ended up messaging him last night, just sent him a funny video I thought he'd like. On Whatsapp it showed as 'seen' with the blue ticks... I then see that he's deleted me from Instagram! So he messages me this morning saying the video didn't go through and shows me it's partially downloaded... but then why delete me from Insta?? UGH MINDFUCK or what?!

Edit - I read this back and realised it sounded a bit like the scene from 'he's just not that into you' when Drew Barrymore is talking about contacting her date through all these different ways. Does anyone know what I'm talking about

 

[HitchhikingGhost]

Been seeing the same guy since mid May. We clicked and moved from pub dates/dinner to days out, spending whole weekends together. We are always laughing and can talk about anything. Last night we were chatting and we made it official .

I echo what others say about not settling and if they like you, you won't be second guessing. Of course who knows what can happen in the future but not going to overthink (bad habit to break) and just enjoy it

 

[HelloStereo]

Sorry I wasn't clear - he's based in North London.

So I ended up messaging him last night, just sent him a funny video I thought he'd like. On Whatsapp it showed as 'seen' with the blue ticks... I then see that he's deleted me from Instagram! So he messages me this morning saying the video didn't go through and shows me it's partially downloaded... but then why delete me from Insta?? UGH MINDFUCK or what?!

Edit - I read this back and realised it sounded a bit like the scene from 'he's just not that into you' when Drew Barrymore is talking about contacting her date through all these different ways. Does anyone know what I'm talking about

Ha I've not seen "He's Just Not That Into You" in ages but I remember the scene .

Deleting someone from Instagram sends a pretty strong message doesn't it? I'd leave it to see if he gets in touch. Fair enough if he is frustrated about not meeting but then he should just say rather than be so passive aggressive

 

[mehere]

Deleting someone from Instagram sends a pretty strong message doesn't it? I'd leave it to see if he gets in touch. Fair enough if he is frustrated about not meeting but then he should just say rather than be so passive aggressive

I told him to crack on like the posters above said, I refuse to settle or put up with crappy behaviour. Especially at the beginning.

For anyone who hasn't seen the movie, this scene is hilarious. Just goes to show we've come so far with technology and social media but the dating world is still a minefield haha

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

He still hasn't texted.

He left on Sunday and sent a brief text when he was home, then I sent him this funny article on Monday eve to which he responded briefly late at night, I then responded briefly in the morning and that's it, today is Thursday.
It seems he stayed at a friend's Tuesday night, then traveled to see his child on Wednesday and was online a few times today but not to communicate with me.

I don't know what to make of it?
Has he lost interest, does he have someone else (maybe he stayed at a girl's place on Tuesday? But I somehow don't believe that, is the really that thoughtless or can he only focus on one thing at a time and push everything else aside?

In any case, I am losing my interest pretty fast now.

 

[Bettyboo2021]

He still hasn't texted.

He left on Sunday and sent a brief text when he was home, then I sent him this funny article on Monday eve to which he responded briefly late at night, I then responded briefly in the morning and that's it, today is Thursday.
It seems he stayed at a friend's Tuesday night, then traveled to see his child on Wednesday and was online a few times today but not to communicate with me.

I don't know what to make of it?
Has he lost interest, does he have someone else (maybe he stayed at a girl's place on Tuesday? But I somehow don't believe that, is the really that thoughtless or can he only focus on one thing at a time and push everything else aside?

In any case, I am losing my interest pretty fast now.

I hate this...If it’s making you lose interest though maybe that’s a good thing because you might not get hurt? I was dating a guy who was so full on first 3 weeks, then it fizzled out to 3 texts a day. When we stopped seeing each other he told me “you must of noticed I’d stopped texting you as much ” these men

 

[LaurieLaurie]

He still hasn't texted.

He left on Sunday and sent a brief text when he was home, then I sent him this funny article on Monday eve to which he responded briefly late at night, I then responded briefly in the morning and that's it, today is Thursday.
It seems he stayed at a friend's Tuesday night, then traveled to see his child on Wednesday and was online a few times today but not to communicate with me.

I don't know what to make of it?
Has he lost interest, does he have someone else (maybe he stayed at a girl's place on Tuesday? But I somehow don't believe that, is the really that thoughtless or can he only focus on one thing at a time and push everything else aside?

In any case, I am losing my interest pretty fast now.

Never speak to this man ever again and don’t give him another thought.
He’s pretty much used you for sex and then fucked off, I don’t care what he’s been up to he, he’s had time to send a text.

 

[BekkaBoo]

So, had another bloke message me yesterday morning on Tinder. He's pretty handsome and he took something I put in my profile and really ran with. He's been quite funny and made a very good effort in initial messages.

He's ginger and I put that he was just lucky that I have a soft spot for cheeky redheads. Then I just got this message...

View attachment 632147



I don't know what to say now

Is he messing?

 

[Bgr101]

I have a question. I met someone on tinder at the end of 2019 and we went on a few dates there was no physical contact at all not even a kiss and never has been and then we went into lockdown. He continued to text me every day, then lockdown ended we went for a few walks etc and i just didnt feel it was moving in the relationship direction as there was still no contact at all and i wasnt attracted to him, i mentioned to him that although we met on tinder i didnt want a relationship and only wanted to b friends at that point i thought he would lose interest but he has continued to text every day, ask me to go for walks each week, sometimes dinner, now hes asked me to go for dinner at his house. I very rarely text first and never instigate meeting up. Do u think he wants more or are we definitely in the friends territory. Should i start saying no to the meetings ? I feel awkward now as im sure if he was interested he would have made a move but dont know why he continues to want to meet when ive told him i dont want anything.

 

[mehere]

I have a question. I met someone on tinder at the end of 2019 and we went on a few dates there was no physical contact at all not even a kiss and never has been and then we went into lockdown. He continued to text me every day, then lockdown ended we went for a few walks etc and i just didnt feel it was moving in the relationship direction as there was still no contact at all and i wasnt attracted to him, i mentioned to him that although we met on tinder i didnt want a relationship and only wanted to b friends at that point i thought he would lose interest but he has continued to text every day, ask me to go for walks each week, sometimes dinner, now hes asked me to go for dinner at his house. I very rarely text first and never instigate meeting up. Do u think he wants more or are we definitely in the friends territory. Should i start saying no to the meetings ? I feel awkward now as im sure if he was interested he would have made a move but dont know why he continues to want to meet when ive told him i dont want anything.

What did he say when you said you didn't want a relationship?

I've stayed in touch with a guy I met on Tinder, and although there wasn't any romantic interest there we actually make quite good mates. I've even met his girlfriend! Maybe he just sees it as a friendship? If you don't want to continue seeing him, you should tell him and just break all contact.

 

[Bgr101]

What did he say when you said you didn't want a relationship?

I've stayed in touch with a guy I met on Tinder, and although there wasn't any romantic interest there we actually make quite good mates. I've even met his girlfriend! Maybe he just sees it as a friendship? If you don't want to continue seeing him, you should tell him and just break all contact.

He said that was fine as he didnt know what he wanted and we would just continue meeting up as friends. Which i am happy to do i just dont want to lead anyone on and i m not used to guys wanting to just be friends !

 

[LaurieLaurie]

All of my closest friends are lads.. They are the best

 

[Caramel Latte]

I met someone today for the first time sort of blind date (through common friends) and OMG he was dull! He got me flowers (?) But i find gestures from the wrong people just
I'm not crazy right? I don't wanna see him again although i feel guilty but i shouldn't right?

 

[HelloStereo]

I met someone today for the first time sort of blind date (through common friends) and OMG he was dull! He got me flowers (?) But i find gestures from the wrong people just
I'm not crazy right? I don't wanna see him again although i feel guilty but i shouldn't right?

No, you have to enjoy being in their company. It would be a waste of time for the both of you if you agreed to another date just because you felt obliged to. You don't owe him anything.

 

[aimz_yeah]

So I mentioned about having a date tomorrow. Well I’d asked the guy on Tuesday and we’d agreed on Friday. Asked him what he fancied doing and I suggested food. All sounded good. I asked him what we should go for, food wise, and gave him my number to make it easier (chatting on Snapchat). Since then he’s left my SC message unread and hasn’t text.
I’m feeling that if I don’t hear from him today, tomorrow isn’t happening. It isn’t as easy to just drop by a place and get food so we would need to have booked and quite frankly like the many wise women on here, if he can’t be arsed to text I can’t be arsed to get dressed up and meet him.

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Omg I want someone to buy me flowers. I know it’s cliche but I want all the cliches, chocolates flowers the lot. But you’re right @CaramelLatte needs to be the right person. Although I’d accept a sugar daddy at this point too so

thread title suggestions for thread number 5
“we are tired”
“How low can we go”
“You can’t spell disappointment without Men” (yes I know not all men)

 

[LaurieLaurie]

So I mentioned about having a date tomorrow. Well I’d asked the guy on Tuesday and we’d agreed on Friday. Asked him what he fancied doing and I suggested food. All sounded good. I asked him what we should go for, food wise, and gave him my number to make it easier (chatting on Snapchat). Since then he’s left my SC message unread and hasn’t text.
I’m feeling that if I don’t hear from him today, tomorrow isn’t happening. It isn’t as easy to just drop by a place and get food so we would need to have booked and quite frankly like the many wise women on here, if he can’t be arsed to text I can’t be arsed to get dressed up and meet him.

Did you ask him on the date and arrange it all? What’s he normally like for texting?

 

[aimz_yeah]

Did you ask him on the date and arrange it all? What’s he normally like for texting?

I asked him if we should meet up. He seemed keen but then avoided really firming up any plans.
he’s a sporadic texter at best but I guess I just like a bit of notice what I’m doing

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I asked him if we should meet up. He seemed keen but then avoided really firming up any plans.
he’s a sporadic texter at best but I guess I just like a bit of notice what I’m doing

I don’t want to upset you but it just sounds like he was going along with it, especially if he was avoiding. I’m assuming he’s half swiped your message and read it without it showing as opened.