Dating after lockdown #4 The bar for men is so low it's in hell

[Clementine]

It’s NOT your fault. You said no and he continued. He literally pinned you down and choked you. It’s 100% on him. Please don’t doubt or blame yourself. You didn’t want to and he continued - that’s rape.

Do you have someone to support you?

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

I don't have his number, only his sc and insta.
I'm not sure the police would do anything though? Is it actually rape just because I didn't want it? I shouldn't have let him in tbf, it's my fault.

Yes, the police would do something.

Yes, if someone has sex with you and you don't want this it is rape. You said no and you pushed his hands away and he coerced you into it.
I imagine you gave in as he didn't let go and you didn't dare to be too physical (scratch, bite etc).

You were perfectly fine letting him into the flat. He knocked, he wanted to talk to you, you let him in - this is a perfectly civil interaction.
What he did to you was out of order.

I am kind of puzzled that you don't see this.

Just give the police all the data that you have and let them do their job and please find someone to talk to. I also think you need to work on your boundaries and your self-worth - someone had sex with you against your will. There is no question that this is wrong!

 

[Thank(space)you]

Yes, the police would do something.

Yes, if someone has sex with you and you don't want this it is rape. You said no and you pushed his hands away and he coerced you into it.
I imagine you gave in as he didn't let go and you didn't dare to be too physical (scratch, bite etc).

You were perfectly fine letting him into the flat. He knocked, he wanted to talk to you, you let him in - this is a perfectly civil interaction.
What he did to you was out of order.

I am kind of puzzled that you don't see this.

Just give the police all the data that you have and let them do their job and please find someone to talk to. I also think you need to work on your boundaries and your self-worth - someone had sex with you against your will. There is no question that this is wrong!

Spoiler: TW childhood abuse

My mum always raised me that all I’m worth to men is sex, and we were abused as kids so I definitely have a f*cked up view of myself and sex.

 

[Higuys]

Hubby always says if we split no one would want me with 3 kids, is this true what’s your experiences please on these apps and dating

 

[misscl4]

[SPOILER="Off topic and TW: childhood abuse" ] my mum always raised me that all I'm worth to men is sex, and we were abused as kids so I definitely have a f*cked up view of myself and sex. [/SPOILER]

Please don’t feel like s*** this isn’t your fault, have you got anyone you can call to speak to about it? A close friend to confide in?

 

[Clementine]

Had you told him any of this? If he was aware of this and did what he did …..
Please contact the police. He needs to be arrested.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

[SPOILER="Off topic and TW: childhood abuse" ] my mum always raised me that all I'm worth to men is sex, and we were abused as kids so I definitely have a f*cked up view of myself and sex. [/SPOILER]

That's really sad and I am sorry to read this.

But you will now call the police, right?

I remember that you have a child and you can do things differently from your mother and teach self-worth and respect.

Just tell the police what you told us and that you said no and he held and choked you, had sex and then left.

You are not just doing it for you - but also for other girls and women that might be treated in the same way.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

Feel free to shout at me

Remember the prick from the other day? Well he turned up at my house (which is weird as I never gave him my address) said he wanted to apologise properly so stupid me let him in.

He tried it on, I kept moving his hands and pushing him away and saying I didn't want to but he kept on and on and pinning me down and choking me so in the end i just gave up and we had sex.

Then he left and now I feel tit.

[SPOILER="Off topic and TW: childhood abuse" ] my mum always raised me that all I'm worth to men is sex, and we were abused as kids so I definitely have a f*cked up view of myself and sex. [/SPOILER]

This isn't your fault at all. You are worth so much and what he did was violent and not consensual as you'd said no. Sending you a massive hug my love.

 

[Thank(space)you]

Had you told him any of this? If he was aware of this and did what he did …..
Please contact the police. He needs to be arrested.

No, he doesn't know about my childhood x

I will go to the police, for whatever good it does. Thankfully I'm on contraception. I've ordered an STI test kit too.


New thread :

Dating after lockdown #5 The MANdemic

Congrats on the thread title win @nobrains Just a side note, this is a thread to talk about our dating experiences, we aren't a man hating thread (there's a separate thread for that) but yes, there is a lot of bitching about men on this thread 😂 Previous thread here...

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