Dating after lockdown #4 The bar for men is so low it's in hell

[thunderfook]

Ha it wasn't just that, but coupled with the fact he referred to his kid as a brat .

If they don't want to meet after a while I always wonder if they are who they say they are or if they're in a relationship. I never considered that they could be in prison

Never mind that, he’s been in prison and has a one year old. That’s like ‘I’d rather have it stitched up thanks! Clearly has issues with commitment, parenting and more importantly not breaking the law. What was in for would be my first question before I swiftly…

 

[HelloStereo]

Never mind that, he’s been in prison and has a one year old. That’s like ‘I’d rather have it stitched up thanks! Clearly has issues with commitment, parenting and more importantly not breaking the law. What was in for would be my first question before I swiftly…

I could imagine if I reply once he will be the type to keep harassing me. Or a screenshot of the convo will end up on another website with the question "have I been ghosted? "

 

[thunderfook]

I could imagine if I reply once he will be the type to keep harassing me. Or a screenshot of the convo will end up on another website with the question "have I been ghosted? "

I’m just intrigued by his brazenness!

 

[HelloStereo]

I’m just intrigued by his brazenness!

The only thing I found remotely appealing about his message was that he could tell the difference between your and you're.

 

[thunderfook]

The only thing I found remotely appealing about his message was that he could tell the difference between your and you're.

Ah the bar really is that low, we appreciate such small things!

 

[holliebollie]

Ah the bar really is that low, we appreciate such small things!

If I see ‘It’s not to hot today’ once more, I’m going to scream. It worries me that people who are clearly illiterate help their children with school work. I dread to think what else they can’t spell. My ex could not work out ‘you’re’ and ‘your’ and I corrected it every time. It’s one of the things I think about when I feel like I want to get back with him and it puts me right off again

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Ok so I saw the Older Man on Sunday. Had a nice day after lunch we went and got his dog and then took the puppy for a walk.

All seemed to be going ok, I still have the slight ick but this time it’s clothing related (I could sort that out in one shopping trip tbf).

He said wants to plan so many things including me meeting his Parents and him meeting mine. We text a bit on Sunday after leaving each other and sent photos (nothing xxx just of the day, the view where we went to walk and me and his dog) but then he hasn’t opened my responses to another message late on Sunday evening. In person He did say he had a busy work day Monday but I’m still left on delivered on WhatsApp since Sunday and it’s now Tuesday!! Is this him ghosting me? I don’t plan to message again tbh as I think it’s borderline rude.

I always think when this happens the person simply isn’t interested, or isn’t as invested as you are dating them. Are you more annoyed he got in there first with not talking? Because you’d said about this whole ‘ick’ thing previously?

I’m dating someone who’s mega busy, as in no free hours - but we find a way to stay in touch and make it work. There has never been a day despite how busy we both are where we wouldn’t talk at all. He obviously isn’t right for you if it’s this hard this early, who talks about meeting parents then leaves you on delivered for two days. That’s just two contradictions!

 

[HelloStereo]

If I see ‘It’s not to hot today’ once more, I’m going to scream. It worries me that people who are clearly illiterate help their children with school work. I dread to think what else they can’t spell. My ex could not work out ‘you’re’ and ‘your’ and I corrected it every time. It’s one of the things I think about when I feel like I want to get back with him and it puts me right off again

Also when people say "we where there yesterday" instead of "we were there yesterday". I can understand people sometimes have a brain fart / make a typo, but constantly getting it wrong indicates you don't know the difference.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Mine doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re

Also when people say "we where there yesterday" instead of "we were there yesterday". I can understand people sometimes have a brain fart / make a typo, but constantly getting it wrong indicates you don't know the difference.

Even worse when they say “We was there yesterday” like the Towie influencers.

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

I always think when this happens the person simply isn’t interested, or isn’t as invested as you are dating them. Are you more annoyed he got in there first with not talking? Because you’d said about this whole ‘ick’ thing previously?

I’m dating someone who’s mega busy, as in no free hours - but we find a way to stay in touch and make it work. There has never been a day despite how busy we both are where we wouldn’t talk at all. He obviously isn’t right for you if it’s this hard this early, who talks about meeting parents then leaves you on delivered for two days. That’s just two contradictions!

I totally agree. I’m literally confused as hell. Despite my icks which I’ve never said out loud to him only to my friends / mum. we had such a nice day on Sunday. Like despite the food in beard and the clothing ick. I was like .

And I forgot this but he asked me re dating anyone else, how he’s not talking anyone since we started speaking and how he would like us to just date each other (although in my head though I was like Hmmm because I had a date planned long before we started speaking). The silence is defeating me as I just feel like I’m in the same position I have been with guys before and it’s failed but not two dates in. There’s no sign of life as you will on his Instagram either usually there’s a gym story etc so I’m not sure.

Thanks to the other posters too offering words of advice.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I totally agree. I’m literally confused as hell. Despite my icks which I’ve never said out loud only to my friends / mum. we had such a nice day on Sunday. And I forgot this but He asked me re dating anyone else, how he’s not talking anyone since we started speaking and how he would like us to just date each other (although in my head tho I was like Hmmm). The silence is defeating me as I just feel like I’m in the same position I have been with guys before and it’s failed but not two dates in. There’s no sign of life as you will on his Instagram either usually there’s a gym story etc so I’m not sure.

Thanks to the other posters too offering words of advice.

I have a zero tolerance for this kind of behaviour. No doubt he will be wondering when you’re going to pop up, don’t give him the satisfaction and just remove him. The little icks and strange behaviour will only get worse.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

I totally agree. I’m literally confused as hell. Despite my icks which I’ve never said out loud to him only to my friends / mum. we had such a nice day on Sunday. Like despite the food in beard and the clothing ick. I was like .

And I forgot this but he asked me re dating anyone else, how he’s not talking anyone since we started speaking and how he would like us to just date each other (although in my head though I was like Hmmm because I had a date planned long before we started speaking). The silence is defeating me as I just feel like I’m in the same position I have been with guys before and it’s failed but not two dates in. There’s no sign of life as you will on his Instagram either usually there’s a gym story etc so I’m not sure.

Thanks to the other posters too offering words of advice.

I’d be so torn between letting my feelings on the subject spill out and messaging him to ask what the hell he’s playing at to just playing him at his own game and being silent.
So he’ll come back, I mean everyone knows he will, but when he does how will you behave? Will you want to get one up on him as he’s done this? Or just resume normal texting? It’s just such a turn off for me with communication games so early into a potential relationship. When you meet someone who’s right for you, I don’t think any of this comes into play because it’s a mutual thing.

It’s times like this I’m so grateful I’m gay so that I don’t ever have to deal with the sex messages and men on dating websites - I just have the men pretending to be gay women and the women who want to make their boyfriends happy and have a threesome

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

I plan on being silent. Our plan was to see each other on Friday cause I wanted to do the arcade/crazy golf. I’ll be silent and just try and wait it out. I don’t know how I’d behave if he returns. If he texts today and apologises/gives an explanation I’d consider continuing idk. Also we haven’t even kissed yet! He seemed more of a gentleman than the usual dicks. We Held hands, arms around each other when walking and sitting etc which was more than enough for me.

It is SO hard though as I feel like I’m constantly in some bullshit with men and I’m the common denominator in this. Therefore I always take it personally and wonder where I went or did something wrong.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I’d be so torn between letting my feelings on the subject spill out and messaging him to ask what the hell he’s playing at to just playing him at his own game and being silent.
So he’ll come back, I mean everyone knows he will, but when he does how will you behave? Will you want to get one up on him as he’s done this? Or just resume normal texting? It’s just such a turn off for me with communication games so early into a potential relationship. When you meet someone who’s right for you, I don’t think any of this comes into play because it’s a mutual thing.

He will definitely be back, they always are.
I’m glad you will be silent, texting them as normal is teaching them it’s ok to behave like that but you aren’t the problem. You’ve just been unlucky recently.

 

[thunderfook]

I’d be so torn between letting my feelings on the subject spill out and messaging him to ask what the hell he’s playing at to just playing him at his own game and being silent.
So he’ll come back, I mean everyone knows he will, but when he does how will you behave? Will you want to get one up on him as he’s done this? Or just resume normal texting? It’s just such a turn off for me with communication games so early into a potential relationship. When you meet someone who’s right for you, I don’t think any of this comes into play because it’s a mutual thing.

It’s times like this I’m so grateful I’m gay so that I don’t ever have to deal with the sex messages and men on dating websites - I just have the men pretending to be gay women and the women who want to make their boyfriends happy and have a threesome

There’s definitely a ‘window of opportunity’ here. A really keen guy/girl will text straight after you leave and say something like ‘I had a great day’ or ‘thanks for a great day’. The keen, but doesn’t want to look keen, will text first thing the next day with ‘good morning’ or ‘have a great day’. After that the window starts to close. If they don’t text at all the next day it’s bolted shut. This of course is just my opinion, but you make the time no matter how busy purely to let that person know they’re on your mind and because you to be on their mind. Games at 46 are just pathetic and it does make it even more obvious why he has no kids and has bever been married - he simply has never prioritised that side of his life (it’s not like women, who largely have to sacrifice everything. Men generally only need to be financially secure, which he must be!). @realhousewive - I am constantly matching with guys in their mid 30s who are looking for a wife and mother. They love me until I say I don’t want kids! Have you explored this age group?

Random question - obviously most of us ‘get the ick’ (love that saying!) at guys/girls who share names with nasty exes or people we don’t like, but what do we think of star signs? Are there any that automatically make you think twice?

 

[Lhm87]

If a man doesn’t message you, he isn’t interested. I am good friends with a few men (early and late 30’s) and every single one of them has said they are NEVER too busy to text a girl they like - and we have absolutely hectic jobs. If theyre leaving you on delivered or read, they’re playing games and you need to block them. Never give a man the opportunity to behave in this way. Online dating is a buffet for them and they treat it as such.
The fact you’re questioning how someone feels says it all. It’s horrible and I’ve been there but i learnt very quickly we should not allow this behaviour and should never give them chance to crawl back. Block them and move on, no one is too busy to message someone they like.

Also just to add my 2p, I would never judge a man for poor spelling or grammar. My son is severely dyslexic and even autocorrect doesn’t know what he means sometimes and if women treated him poorly because of it I’d be heartbroken. Having poor spelling and grammar does not make them bad people or thick. Get to know people before being so judgemental.

 

[Alexaj]

Random question - obviously most of us ‘get the ick’ (love that saying!) at guys/girls who share names with nasty exes or people we don’t like, but what do we think of star signs? Are there any that automatically make you think twice?

Scorpios maybe

 

[alwayslurkin]

Scorpios maybe

Loool I'm a scorpio and can understand this

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Random question - obviously most of us ‘get the ick’ (love that saying!) at guys/girls who share names with nasty exes or people we don’t like, but what do we think of star signs? Are there any that automatically make you think twice?

I’ll never date another Aquarius ever again
I’m Aries and I like to date Aries but it’s very firey.

 

[thunderfook]

If a man doesn’t message you, he isn’t interested. I am good friends with a few men (early and late 30’s) and every single one of them has said they are NEVER too busy to text a girl they like - and we have absolutely hectic jobs. If theyre leaving you on delivered or read, they’re playing games and you need to block them. Never give a man the opportunity to behave in this way. Online dating is a buffet for them and they treat it as such.
The fact you’re questioning how someone feels says it all. It’s horrible and I’ve been there but i learnt very quickly we should not allow this behaviour and should never give them chance to crawl back. Block them and move on, no one is too busy to message someone they like.

Also just to add my 2p, I would never judge a man for poor spelling or grammar. My son is severely dyslexic and even autocorrect doesn’t know what he means sometimes and if women treated him poorly because of it I’d be heartbroken. Having poor spelling and grammar does not make them bad people or thick. Get to know people before being so judgemental.

There could be another theory (sorry ladies I’m off work today, having my highlights done, so too much free time ). Tell me what you think of this…?

when I met my ex (the guy that contributed to my mental breakdown, not the lovely ex-husband), he used to tell me I was ‘out of this world hot’ (his words, I do not think this of myself). You would think he would believe me to be a catch and slightly out of his league right? Well not only did he not want to be with me, but one of his parting snipes was ‘I never doubted I could do better than you’! Now this was not a compatibility or chemistry issue - it was an age thing! Which, leads me to think (now I’m sane again) that when a guy/girl pulls someone they think is out of their league (which @realhousewivewannabe clearly is for that old man), does something switch in their brain and make them think ‘well if I pulled her, imagine what else I could get’?