tbh I think itās the opposite. When you leave the line of communication open it will seem to him like youāre still available. Blocking him imo shows that you absolutely do not want to hear from him at allHoping everyone is doing okIām feeling a little better, itās not the no messages that bother me (I think his life is spiralling and Iām no longer useful) itās the relief that so far I havenāt had a nasty text saying he doesnāt want to see me, purely because Iāve got a big weekend coming up and I could do without any upset..I know I know I could block him, but I feel if I do it looks like Iām bothered rather than as some of you have said just carrying on with life which I intend to do! Hereās hoping for continued silence
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Thatās a brilliant way to put it, thanks a lot! Youāre so much wiser and level-headed than me
I know I can be too much when I like someone, Iām trying my best to keep my anxious attachment and self-esteem issues at bay but itās a work in progressā¦Gonna text him today and see what he says, otherwise I will drive myself mad with all the overthinking.Exactly this @freezelouise43! I have a feeling that you are too kind to kick him out of your life so blocking would be the safest option. Please donāt let him waste any more of your time.
I get that but it looks like Iām bothered, which i always like to show the world Iām notā¦as @Clickbait said, would I get angry at a platonic friend for not responding? Probably notā¦yes I am extremely hurt considering we have gotten so close but I also would prefer him never to know that, then he doesnāt affect my life xx
no but I would get angry and block a platonic friend who had treated me the way heās treated you
I think I should probdbly give a bit more context into āmeāā¦how I have handled him so far is to maintain the charade that we are ājustā friends, Iāve told him what he does when heās not with he is none of my business and as a single person he can do as he pleases. Do I feel this way? Nope! Do I feel like I donāt want him to think I care, yesThatās a brilliant way to put it, thanks a lot! Youāre so much wiser and level-headed than me
Exactly this @freezelouise43! I have a feeling that you are too kind to kick him out of your life so blocking would be the safest option. Please donāt let him waste any more of your time.
ā¦itās like a self protection thing to hold my head up, especially since I have mutual friends, I donāt want to feel like a fool. So now, I canāt backtrack and call him out on it, Iāve kind of not helped myself have I? 
I have a date this evening with a guy I've been chatting with on Bumble since last week. We are going for some riverside drinks after work. He has been very responsive on Bumble, and his messages are thoughtful, but...we all know how that can go Either way, I'll keep an open mind for a few hours this evening 
Either way, I'll keep an open mind for a few hours this evening I mean Iād argue blocking him doesnāt make you look like a fool it makes you look like somebody who is refusing to let someone pick you up then throw you away when they choose. Make no mistake that man knows exactly what he is doing and how he is treating you. Leaving the channels of communication open just seems like a sign to him that he can continue dropping in and out when he wants.I think I should probdbly give a bit more context into āmeāā¦how I have handled him so far is to maintain the charade that we are ājustā friends, Iāve told him what he does when heās not with he is none of my business and as a single person he can do as he pleases. Do I feel this way? Nope! Do I feel like I donāt want him to think I care, yes
I can only repeat my previous post. You need to stop caring what he thinks of you. You're still holding his evaluation of your actions in higher regard than your own.I think I should probdbly give a bit more context into āmeāā¦how I have handled him so far is to maintain the charade that we are ājustā friends, Iāve told him what he does when heās not with he is none of my business and as a single person he can do as he pleases. Do I feel this way? Nope! Do I feel like I donāt want him to think I care, yes
And there is no shame in finally having had enough. You don't need to JADE yourself to other people either.
Block him or not, whatever feels better, but do so because YOU want to, not because other people might think x y or z of you.
And being authentic with your wants and needs will help you avoid future situations like these.
You can do whatever the duck you want! So block, delete and move on. Take control, at the moment he's running this tit show. He's not a friend and you don't need him in your life. Put yourself first for a changeI think I should probdbly give a bit more context into āmeāā¦how I have handled him so far is to maintain the charade that we are ājustā friends, Iāve told him what he does when heās not with he is none of my business and as a single person he can do as he pleases. Do I feel this way? Nope! Do I feel like I donāt want him to think I care, yes
@freezelouise43 I shared my similar situation with you earlier. I was on the verge of blocking mine when I went into my phone to see he's already blocked me on WhatsApp. No doubt languishing in the arms of his new true love. 
It was like a sword through my heart. So many dark days ahead after that and yet, like you, I had jumped into the fire willingly. It's so hard to accept things have ended on their side.
It was like a sword through my heart. So many dark days ahead after that and yet, like you, I had jumped into the fire willingly. It's so hard to accept things have ended on their side.
Dickpic guy keeps messaging me and yet I've not replied since he sent the pictures 
Just to warn you all, bumble may blur photos and warn you they may be explicit... you can clearly see through the blur what they are!
I'm really mopey about my friend today and just wanna message to get a definite answer as to whether we are gonna establish a fun relationship as we discussed
but we haven't spoken for a week now and I bet he wouldn't reply until Monday if he did
Just feeling today that if I know its going nowhere there I can try and make more effort on the apps* and get what I want from somewhere else...
I think I just want attention, rather than it directly from my friend but I'd prefer the latter
Just to warn you all, bumble may blur photos and warn you they may be explicit... you can clearly see through the blur what they are!
I'm really mopey about my friend today and just wanna message to get a definite answer as to whether we are gonna establish a fun relationship as we discussed
but we haven't spoken for a week now and I bet he wouldn't reply until Monday if he didJust feeling today that if I know its going nowhere there I can try and make more effort on the apps* and get what I want from somewhere else...
I think I just want attention, rather than it directly from my friend but I'd prefer the latter
He should 100% be made aware that his actions towards you have been awful. To be honest you acting that your oblivious and not caring to it is probably enabling him even more to treat you this way. Did you mention another friend who calls him out on stuff and he has much more time and respect for her? Some men can be egotistical and misogynistic and get kicks out of how he is treating you. And you acting nonchalant is actually giving him push over vibes.I think I should probdbly give a bit more context into āmeāā¦how I have handled him so far is to maintain the charade that we are ājustā friends, Iāve told him what he does when heās not with he is none of my business and as a single person he can do as he pleases. Do I feel this way? Nope! Do I feel like I donāt want him to think I care, yes
I feel like the last time you met you said you had been messaging on holidays and did you tell him something along the lines of the strong feelings you had for him? And he reciprocated and then you met him when you came home and it's been zilch since?
In my opinion there is absolutely no way he could think you do not care about this situation if those were the last conversations you have had.
If it was me I'd send him a message calling him out on that last interaction and all the previous ones. Wish him well but tell him you don't have a place in your life for someone who treats you like that and then block.
The way you are speaking atm it sounds like if he pops into your inbox in a week or two you would respond with open arms just to keep up the charade that "you don't care."
I know it's easier for us on the outside looking in but I do hope you take control x
This is where I feel a "Go duck yourself asshole" is actually very appropriate. Yes I do care! I care very much that you have used, manipulated me & discard me at will (you don't write that but) then feel the anger. The anger is your gateway to freedom. 
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Most of it is not being honest with yourself.
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Most of it is not being honest with yourself.
I know I feel that train is on its way to my station! Iām not good at being assertive and taking control of things, I kind of wish he would do something like that so I can just mourn it in my own wayā¦i think with him itās defo to do with his ex wife, I often wish them to get back together so I can resign myself to fate! All the facts are staring me in the face and yet I bury my head in the sand@freezelouise43 I shared my similar situation with you earlier. I was on the verge of blocking mine when I went into my phone to see he's already blocked me on WhatsApp. No doubt languishing in the arms of his new true love.
. Did the same thing happen with you? Just one day stopped replying xx@Agent Cooper I never got around to saying well done for putting the plank ghoster under the spotlight. I loved it & so much more dignified than my fantasy of smashing up the guitars etc 
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@freezelouise43 Yes it was all staring me in the face but it didn't suit my inner scenario that he was as bonded to me as I was to him. The whole thing was crazy but looking back so much of it was me trying to control the situation with fantasy & imagination. You know you're going to have to experience this pain but seriously you need to dig deep inside and find your buried anger. All the best.
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@freezelouise43 Yes it was all staring me in the face but it didn't suit my inner scenario that he was as bonded to me as I was to him. The whole thing was crazy but looking back so much of it was me trying to control the situation with fantasy & imagination. You know you're going to have to experience this pain but seriously you need to dig deep inside and find your buried anger. All the best.
Thank youā¦he mentioned last time divorce and money troubles so in order to process it I have to think that he isnāt someone I need in my life as his isnāt good, we are supposed to be going away next month for the weekend, I will be cancelling the hotel today! Xx@Agent Cooper I never got around to saying well done for putting the plank ghoster under the spotlight. I loved it & so much more dignified than my fantasy of smashing up the guitars etc
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@freezelouise43 Yes it was all staring me in the face but it didn't suit my inner scenario that he was as bonded to me as I was to him. The whole thing was crazy but looking back so much of it was me trying to control the situation with fantasy & imagination. You know you're going to have to experience this pain but seriously you need to dig deep inside and find your buried anger. All the best.
In fairness I agree with this despite saying upthread don't block just ignore. I think the issue is without you blocking him he still has some sort of control, he either does or doesn't message and you know about it. If you block him it might not be what you want but at least it's on your terms x
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Wtf, you're going away but it's you who booked (and now has to.cancel)! duck him sis
Thank you for your message
the other friend (who was my friend but isnāt now over him) has a lot more history- she was also friends with his ex wife until she started sleeping with him. She has a lot of issues and was sectioned last year, sheās agressive and unpredictable and I do think yes she takes him to task on thingsā¦we are just such totally different people.Youāre right, he absolutely knows how I feel and I doubt he has any respect for me, and coming to terms with it now he doesnāt care about my existenceā¦I wish when we split up couple years ago I had been more assertive, I think itās hard to change the narrative now. My holiday we spoke so much about doing things together and when he left after his visit I couldnāt wipe the smile off my face, things were going in the right direction! he text me when he got home thanking me for the gifts and saying how glad he was I was back. We spoke briefly last Tuesday when I had a work issue I wanted advice onā¦Sunday I asked him if he was having a nice weekendā¦crickets.
my other friend keeps asking me now itās going, I donāt want to tell her that heās ignored me for over a weekā¦Iāll just smile and say fine, otherwise the 2 friends may talk about me and how heās screwed me over again and what an idiot I am, I donāt want that
I will probably end up telling him how heās treated me. Tomorrow I am going away with a group of girls and I only know 1 of them, so Iām a bit reluctant to say anything that will make me upset and I donāt want to ruin anyoneās weekend xx
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That might be a Monday morning task! Maybe someone finally needs to tell him xxThis is where I feel a "Go duck yourself asshole" is actually very appropriate. Yes I do care! I care very much that you have used, manipulated me & discard me at will (you don't write that but) then feel the anger. The anger is your gateway to freedom.
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Most of it is not being honest with yourself.
the way youāve worded this strongly implies that you were expecting a ānasty textā which has its own issues, has he done that before? you also imply that you donāt want āany upsetā - has he done that before? you mentioned in another post that he has been aggressive with you previously.Hoping everyone is doing ok
iām going to be really blunt here, and paraphrase clickbaitās earlier reply to you, i think youāre not blocking him because deep down youāre hoping that one day he will āwake upā and see that he wants to be with you. he has given you no indication this will be the case. the only way to guarantee continued silence is to block him.
the way you describe his behaviour towards you, the way he speaks about other women and your anticipation of him kicking off if you stand up for yourself is deeply deeply worrying. i feel like you cannot see this because you obviously have such strong feelings about him. only you can truly want to block him. but i personally deeply feel that you should. iām probably going to get called out for being judgemental again but iāll take it on this one. block him.
Yes heās agressive when cornered. Hes very articulate. He has 3 moods- love bombing, promises he canāt keep, dismissive or agressive. When he ended our initial relationship he spent 15 mins on the phone explaining why he didnāt want me or had any feelings for meā¦he said āyou take care nowā and hung up. That was during covid I was totally alone and it took a long time to build myself back up. But (and Iāll be really honest here, because I feel you all put so much effort into your advice) heās like a drug. The sex is so intensely good I was left craving it after he left. Of course I did move on, but nothing felt like that, ever again. So when I bumped into him again, and he started showing me attention I was hooked. I hated that my friend (who didnāt even want him) was sleeping with him and I felt so pleased he was back I. My life.
so, it could of been just a few hook ups here and there..but over the last fewmonths I felt we had built a consistent friendship, we would laugh and Connect on so many levels. It was always him that asked to meet up, never me. Last time he was here he said heād like to meet my mom which of course Iām notgoing to let him do as heās not in a relationship withme. So to go now to cricketsā¦this isnāt his usual style xx
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