Dating after lockdown #28 It’s not you, it’s dating.

[HereForTheTtt]

I just kept getting the ick more and more with every sentence I wish I could put a picture of him up, he has zero resemblance to Prince Harry (and who would want to look like him anyway ) View attachment 2094575

Just so modest ugh what even is that! Great analogy except it’s totally nonsensical! Shout out to the winking emoji in case you didn’t comprehend just quite how dry his humour actually is!
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Sounds like a pedalo

Read that as pweirdo! Glad it wasn’t the aforementioned!
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Just so modest ugh what even is that! Great analogy except it’s totally nonsensical! Shout out to the winking emoji in case you didn’t comprehend just quite how dry his humour actually is!
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Read that as pweirdo! Glad it wasn’t the aforementioned!

*Read that as *pweirdo! Bloody phone typing incorrectly!

 

[Thank(space)you]

Just so modest ugh what even is that! Great analogy except it’s totally nonsensical! Shout out to the winking emoji in case you didn’t comprehend just quite how dry his humour actually is!
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Read that as pweirdo! Glad it wasn’t the aforementioned!
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*Read that as *pweirdo! Bloody phone typing incorrectly!

Pedalo is another Internet word for p*edo
Tattle won't let you type p*edo, it auto carrots to pweirdo.

Like Stormzy is 72 years old

 

[Kimmylookatme]

Stormzy is 72 years old is my favourite

 

[harveydean]

Stormzy is 72 years old is 72 years old is my favourite

Can you give a clue as to what the original word is?

 

[Clickbait]

My sister suggested I join eharmony. Has anyone heard of it/tried it?

Years ago I tried eharmony on a free weekend. You have to fill out a very long questionnaire as they claim to match people on ‘deep layers of compatibility’ or some other tosh. Unsure how answering if you read the instructions that come with medication can help you find your soulmate, maybe just someone who doesn’t end up in hospital frequently

The questions were so weird I told my (gay male) flatmate to join up too and that was when we discovered that gay people were clearly not allowed to find their soulmate. We thought it may be because it was a religious American site, I read it was something to do with it being focused on marriage and that as gay marriage was illegal they didn’t want to incorporate them and they would require a different algorithm. All a bit fishy and I was put off, but after spending 2 hours answering the questions I felt duty bound to persevere.

That was when I discovered that it’s not like a usual dating site in that you couldn’t search profiles. Instead they would drip feed you a different potential match every day. Also as I was only on a free trial I couldn’t see any photos of these matches.

One guy’s profile stood out and we exchanged a couple of messages and managed to find a way of sharing our email addresses (phone numbers were forbidden/blocked and they scanned messages for them) and then we chatted off the site and shared photos. He was a doctor, looked a bit like Kelly Jones, quite a dry sense of humour.

Met for a date on a Friday night and his photos flattered him but he wasn’t unrecognisable. He also said he was 5’10” and he was 5’6” but lying about height seems to be standard. We seemed to get on quite well but I couldn’t get a read on him. When we left I went to give him a kiss on the cheek goodbye and that’s when he grabbed me for a proper kiss and his hands started ferreting under my coat for a grope in the middle of Oxford Street! He told me he really liked me and really wanted to see me again. By the time I’d got off the tube he’d texted saying the same thing and asking if I was free the following Wednesday night for dinner.

We agreed to meet then. I messaged him the following day trying to get some conversation going but didn’t hear anything back until late Sunday evening when he said that his Grandad had been taken into hospital. We all know what’s coming next

I’m sure that eharmony has changed in the intervening years, can’t imagine for instance that they still exclude gay people or that the questionnaire is that long any more (people wouldn’t have the patience for it) but I think them sharing your matches probably remains and that means it might be quite slow going until you find anyone you’d actually want to meet up with (particularly if you don’t live near a major city or be willing to travel).

 

[freezelouise43]

Morning all, hope everyone is well! Still plodding along in my Birkenstocks does anyone else find it frustrating that guys don’t seem to carry on conversations? It’s like you can be chatting away on WhatsApp or whatever getting on great and then just go silent? it’s like the art of conversation has just died

 

[LaBlonde]

Morning all, hope everyone is well! Still plodding along in my Birkenstocks does anyone else find it frustrating that guys don’t seem to carry on conversations? It’s like you can be chatting away on WhatsApp or whatever getting on great and then just go silent? it’s like the art of conversation has just died

conversation is over - it’s what i find the most difficult tbh. i try and give thoughtful replies or at least try and message about things they’ve mentioned in their profile but, god.

it’s like when you play a video game and are trying to interact with an NPC who only has three response options. and one of those is “how is your day going”
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Morning all, hope everyone is well! Still plodding along in my Birkenstocks does anyone else find it frustrating that guys don’t seem to carry on conversations? It’s like you can be chatting away on WhatsApp or whatever getting on great and then just go silent? it’s like the art of conversation has just died

oops, reading this again freezey i think i misunderstood your post and whined about men being unable to make small talk instead do you mean about ghosting because YES!

i think, honestly, moving to whatsapp or exchanging numbers, means that some basic manners are needed when you’re sorta over the conversation or have met someone else. i can allow non replies after a few messages on an app (even though that’s annoying too) but it’s just rude imo once you’ve moved to another platform.

 

[freezelouise43]

conversation is over - it’s what i find the most difficult tbh. i try and give thoughtful replies or at least try and message about things they’ve mentioned in their profile but, god.

it’s like when you play a video game and are trying to interact with an NPC who only has three response options. and one of those is “how is your day going”
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oops, reading this again freezey i think i misunderstood your post and whined about men being unable to make small talk instead do you mean about ghosting because YES!

i think, honestly, moving to whatsapp or exchanging numbers, means that some basic manners are needed when you’re sorta over the conversation or have met someone else. i can allow non replies after a few messages on an app (even though that’s annoying too) but it’s just rude imo once you’ve moved to another platform.

Yes!! I agree! It takes 2 seconds to send a text, everyone’s phones are always in their hands these days! I struggle alot with it too, especially if it’s someone you’re interested in…it’s really bad manners. It’s given me a kind of phobia about even starting conversations via WhatsApp, I like to think I’m funny and interesting . What can help is turning off your WhatsApp notifications I find- that way a blank screen doesn’t make your heart sink as much..that is until you go inti WhatsApp and find out no they actually haven’t messaged uou xx

 

[LaBlonde]

Yes!! I agree! It takes 2 seconds to send a text, everyone’s phones are always in their hands these days! I struggle alot with it too, especially if it’s someone you’re interested in…it’s really bad manners. It’s given me a kind of phobia about even starting conversations via WhatsApp, I like to think I’m funny and interesting . What can help is turning off your WhatsApp notifications I find- that way a blank screen doesn’t make your heart sink as much..that is until you go inti WhatsApp and find out no they actually haven’t messaged uou xx

oh boy the turning off notifications made it even worse for me because i would be like “oh boy i bet i’ll have loads of messages when i actually check whatsapp” and then i would check and…… 🫠

it takes nothing to message and say something like “hey i’ve liked talking with you but i’m taking a break from dating” or “i’ve met someone else” etc. a move to whatsapp shows a level of interest! a guy did this to me on bumble, in that he’d been on a date with someone else and wanted to see how that turned out and i was so blown away by that basic act of courtesy because he was the only man who had ever done so!

 

[Kimmylookatme]

Can you give a clue as to what the original word is?

It just comes up when you type his name (nearly fell for it again!) I don’t know the origin but always find it funny when I see it on here

 

[EddyDarling]

Stormzy is 72 years old
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Stormzy is 72 years old is 72 years old

Oh me gawwwwd

 

[D2them]

Stormzy is 72 years old is 72 years old
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Oh me gawwwwd

I really don't get it!! Am I being thick??

 

[Captainmouse]

I really don't get it!! Am I being thick??

This is where it started

Dizzee Rascal is the award winning singer in his 30s arrested by police on suspicion of assaulting his girlfriend at her London flat

Another quandary for us to ponder upon????z

tattle.life

 

[BettyBeau]

Stormzy is 72 years old is 72 years old is my favourite

Watch my eyebrows
Is mine from the KHM thread as it used to link to the video

 

[Ohnoshebettadont]

Gals I’m back on the apps and it’s worse than ever! Out of interest, what do you do when the guys (it’s always men) bring up sexual chat early on? Sometimes I call it out, other times I just unmatch. Sure you’ve got some funny stories on here!

 

[LaBlonde]

Gals I’m back on the apps and it’s worse than ever! Out of interest, what do you do when the guys (it’s always men) bring up sexual chat early on? Sometimes I call it out, other times I just unmatch. Sure you’ve got some funny stories on here!

aw mate, depends fully on the mood i’m in at the time if i can’t be bothered, i’ll unmatch. if i’m bored, i’ll get into a full “does this usually work for you?” conversation. if i’m feeling particularly bored, i’ll say how interesting it is that they’re into choking but only when they’re the ones doing the choking (weird how men like that but not the suggestion of the other way around, urgh). sometimes i’ll correct their spelling. sometimes i’ll play completely dumb to a “come over” text and keep saying “why, what will happen?” until it becomes too awkward and shaming for everyone.

wow. why am i single, one of life’s mysteries.

 

[Ohnoshebettadont]

aw mate, depends fully on the mood i’m in at the time if i can’t be bothered, i’ll unmatch. if i’m bored, i’ll get into a full “does this usually work for you?” conversation. if i’m feeling particularly bored, i’ll say how interesting it is that they’re into choking but only when they’re the ones doing the choking (weird how men like that but not the suggestion of the other way around, urgh). sometimes i’ll correct their spelling. sometimes i’ll play completely dumb to a “come over” text and keep saying “why, what will happen?” until it becomes too awkward and shaming for everyone.

wow. why am i single, one of life’s mysteries.

omg I do all of these then wonder why I waste my time! I know unmatching is the best thing to do but sometimes I get so annoyed! Earlier I did the bumble speed dating (slow night haha) and asked a guy ‘what’s your fave thing to do in your spare time?’ He responded:
‘Licking

Spoiler: 🐱

pussy

where is the need? Honestly he was 32 years old ffs.

 

[Agent Cooper]

I’ve only just found the new thread, love the title and the big opening post @MsCurly

Gals I’m back on the apps and it’s worse than ever! Out of interest, what do you do when the guys (it’s always men) bring up sexual chat early on? Sometimes I call it out, other times I just unmatch. Sure you’ve got some funny stories on here!

Oooh I had tons of those when I was still on the apps. I remember a particularly dumb guy who told me everything about his life, his job and his family and then proceeded to ask me whether I was interested in doing anal. I was annoyed but also felt like taking the piss so kept on asking him whether he wanted me to peg him. He was like ‘no, the other way around’ and I pretended I did not understand and asked him again, it went on for ages…I was that close to actually setting up a date and not showing up so he would feel stupid Decided my mother taught me better than that in the end but yeah

sometimes i’ll correct their spelling

this absolutely sent me for some reason

 

[LaBlonde]

omg I do all of these then wonder why I waste my time! I know unmatching is the best thing to do but sometimes I get so annoyed! Earlier I did the bumble speed dating (slow night haha) and asked a guy ‘what’s your fave thing to do in your spare time?’ He responded:
‘Licking

Spoiler: 🐱

pussy

where is the need? Honestly he was 32 years old ffs.

can’t imagine he gets much with chat like that!

good on you for doing the speed dating thing though! every thursday i think i’ll try but the countdown thing freaks me out and i bottle it

 

[MsCurly]

Gals I’m back on the apps and it’s worse than ever! Out of interest, what do you do when the guys (it’s always men) bring up sexual chat early on? Sometimes I call it out, other times I just unmatch. Sure you’ve got some funny stories on here!

I will usually unmatch them without saying another word, but sometimes I’ll make it super awkward so they stop out of shame or disgust. For example I once matched with a guy that almost immediately started to move into the direction of sexting, so I made him tell me what he wanted to do, and then I made the most sexless comment about having to take my regular crocs off and I started a whole spiel about putting on my special sexy time crocs with baby yoda jibbitz. The goal is to make them so turned off that their penises try to retreat inside their bodies.