Dating after lockdown #26 What in the bad episode of Hollyoaks is going on?

[wibblywobblywoo]

I'm actually talking to several men on the apps at the moment

Cancelled a date yesterday as he was giving it zero effort (nothing planned as "decide when you get here", me driving to him rather than meeting halfway or him coming here etc)

Got another date Sunday

I'm not overly attached to any of them and going into it with a very easy breezy attitude which I think is good, albeit unusual for me.

That's an excellent approach, keep it casual and the second they start to show signs of no effort, as in no enthusiasm for sorting a first date, hit and miss messages ....bin them. Dating life is soo much easier when you are in control of what happens with your time.

And the ones that think a first date involves either you come to theirs or they come to yours or ' let's go for a walk' ..... !!!

 

[Bianca Del Rio]

I’ve just re-downloaded Hinge. I haven’t been on it for nearly a year now and there’s a lot of new additions to basic profile info.

What fresh hell is this? Are we actually now presenting people with pre-written ways of being ambiguous about what they’re looking for?

 

[wibblywobblywoo]

I’ve just re-downloaded Hinge. I haven’t been on it for nearly a year now and there’s a lot of new additions to basic profile info.

What fresh hell is this? Are we actually now presenting people with pre-written ways of being ambiguous about what they’re looking for?

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It's exactly the same on Tinder!

I think I may have completed Tinder! I've had a message come up saying I've run out of swipes!

 

[Lalla]

Ah good luck to those with dates coming up, may you at least have an enjoyable and interesting time even if there is no spark of romance! (something I've noticed as I get older is how much I value interesting conversation...not that there's much of it to be had in my daily life!)

I definitely feel like I have emerged from mourning the Ex. I'm still sad about it, but as the saying goes, time is a great healer. Not yet ready to go back to dating though, as I'm now working on losing the weight I put on since March 2020. I have 6.5st to lose overall, but once I've got rid of 3-4st I know I'll feel thin enough to date again (the more weight I lose, the more confident I feel). Whether I'll want to is another matter, but we shall see

 

[wibblywobblywoo]

Ah good luck to those with dates coming up, may you at least have an enjoyable and interesting time even if there is no spark of romance! (something I've noticed as I get older is how much I value interesting conversation...not that there's much of it to be had in my daily life!)

I definitely feel like I have emerged from mourning the Ex. I'm still sad about it, but as the saying goes, time is a great healer. Not yet ready to go back to dating though, as I'm now working on losing the weight I put on since March 2020. I have 6.5st to lose overall, but once I've got rid of 3-4st I know I'll feel thin enough to date again (the more weight I lose, the more confident I feel). Whether I'll want to is another matter, but we shall see

Summer is approaching fast it seems..can't believe we are almost through January already! ...so excellent time to get healthier and fitter. @Lalla have you joined a club ? Or healthy eating by yourself? I'm not a fan of the gym so I'm going to start doing some 'get fit with Rick' in my lounge from next week! It's too cold and slippy to go walking at the moment where I am

 

[Jadejones9596]

Saw my guy again last night.
He invited me over was a perfect night and I like him so much. He has told me he fancies me, thinks I have the best personality. There’s chemistry and we get on so well. It all seems to be going so well, I just feel like it is all going to fall apart. Im so anxious about it even though I can’t see any reason why it would right now! I just want to stop feeling so anxious

 

[Lalla]

Summer is approaching fast it seems..can't believe we are almost through January already! ...so excellent time to get healthier and fitter. @Lalla have you joined a club ? Or healthy eating by yourself? I'm not a fan of the gym so I'm going to start doing some 'get fit with Rick' in my lounge from next week! It's too cold and slippy to go walking at the moment where I am

I've rejoined Slimming World, I don't follow the plan exactly, I tend to try and be fairly low carb rather than unlimited pasta but I need to be weighed every week (I have my own scales but won't weigh myself at home...)

I used to go to the gym regularly but haven't since pre COVID. I've got a treadmill and other exercise equipment at home though so no excuse for not doing something! I'm going to walk up to the high street today (about 30 mins each way) for some outdoor exercise as it's not raining here for once.

 

[sofipbn]

Saw my guy again last night.
He invited me over was a perfect night and I like him so much. He has told me he fancies me, thinks I have the best personality. There’s chemistry and we get on so well. It all seems to be going so well, I just feel like it is all going to fall apart. Im so anxious about it even though I can’t see any reason why it would right now! I just want to stop feeling so anxious

Try to stay busy when anxious feelings appear - as you are saying there isn't a valid reason to feel this way so try to enjoy it and not overthink it!

 

[EddyDarling]

I’ve just re-downloaded Hinge. I haven’t been on it for nearly a year now and there’s a lot of new additions to basic profile info.

What fresh hell is this? Are we actually now presenting people with pre-written ways of being ambiguous about what they’re looking for?

View attachment 1899223

Ugh, I just assume they're going to piss around if that comes up. You either want a long term relationship or not and frankly more fool the person that swipes on them and expects anything more than wondering where the duck they stand constantly!

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Sometimes men don’t understand these prompts, do they?

 

[mozzarellagirl]

Im so anxious about it even though I can’t see any reason why it would right now! I just want to stop feeling so anxious

It's BECAUSE there isn't a reason that you're anxious! There isn't any (fingers crossed) red flags or chaos going on so your brain is like hold up... too good to be true and braces itself for impract.

Be gentle with yourself. Soothe that inner child that's bracing herself for (potential) pain.

 

[Jadejones9596]

It's BECAUSE there isn't a reason that you're anxious! There isn't any (fingers crossed) red flags or chaos going on so your brain is like hold up... too good to be true and braces itself for impract.

Be gentle with yourself. Soothe that inner child that's bracing herself for (potential) pain.

I can’t tell you how much I needed to hear this thank you so so much! He’s just so lovely and it’s all going so well I honestly just feel like there’s got to be a catch, things don’t normally go well for me! Your advice is fantastic and needed so thank you I’ve honestly nearly been in tears tonight because my anxiety is crazy xx

 

[mozzarellagirl]

I can’t tell you how much I needed to hear this thank you so so much! He’s just so lovely and it’s all going so well I honestly just feel like there’s got to be a catch, things don’t normally go well for me! Your advice is fantastic and needed so thank you I’ve honestly nearly been in tears tonight because my anxiety is crazy xx

you are most welcome. rest your heart and mind in ways you know work. i KNOW how exhausting it is to constantly be waiting for the shoe to drop. i find verbally reassuring myself (outloud) very helpful and i speak to myself in first and second person.

eg "you're ok, I understand why you're scared. it makes total sense considering our past but we are going to be ok whatever happens"

i'm so glad i could help u in some way

 

[pbontoast]

Ladies… I think I may have found a good one! It’s still very early days, but I’ve been speaking to a guy and I feel like there is definitely the potential for a real, emotional connection.

I’m trying not to think any self-sabotaging thoughts but this feels really different.

I have so many barriers up though. I’m worried that it’s all in my head, but I think I have to acknowledge this fear and just try

Feeling quite hopeful for the first time in a long time

 

[Jadejones9596]

Ladies… I think I may have found a good one! It’s still very early days, but I’ve been speaking to a guy and I feel like there is definitely the potential for a real, emotional connection.

I’m trying not to think any self-sabotaging thoughts but this feels really different.

I have so many barriers up though. I’m worried that it’s all in my head, but I think I have to acknowledge this fear and just try

Feeling quite hopeful for the first time in a long time

Im in exactly the same situation! Iam with the nicest guy who is absolutely interested and I am falling apart from the anxiety of it all going wrong! I’ve had no luck before! I’m so glad you’re hopeful you deserve a good man x

 

[pbontoast]

Im in exactly the same situation! Iam with the nicest guy who is absolutely interested and I am falling apart from the anxiety of it all going wrong! I’ve had no luck before! I’m so glad you’re hopeful you deserve a good man x

Thank you! So do you x

 

[al255]

My date last night went really well, we knew each other so it wasn’t awks like some dates can be. We laughed so much and just had a brilliant time, I told him it was just what I needed we’ve agreed to go on more dates and see where it ends up.. no pressure, just taking it slow

 

[Jadejones9596]

My date last night went really well, we knew each other so it wasn’t awks like some dates can be. We laughed so much and just had a brilliant time, I told him it was just what I needed we’ve agreed to go on more dates and see where it ends up.. no pressure, just taking it slow

Yay!! This sounds so hopeful, please keep us posted x

 

[Thank(space)you]

Date today was a nice guy but he doesn't want children and I do, so not going to see him again. Feeling okay about it

 

[al255]

My date last night went really well, we knew each other so it wasn’t awks like some dates can be. We laughed so much and just had a brilliant time, I told him it was just what I needed we’ve agreed to go on more dates and see where it ends up.. no pressure, just taking it slow

He is taking me to a fancy restaurant on Friday night can’t wait…!