Dating after lockdown #26 What in the bad episode of Hollyoaks is going on?

[Fledgling Psycho]

@LaBlonde we all know what "anything you want will be in arms reach" ...oh master...finally my time has come to deserve the goldenest, gilded flaccid 8th wonder of the world between your legs that thou has bestowed upon my humble but most grateful self. Nirvana has been achieved. Thank you POF. I have waited in earnest for this wondrous day.

 

[Kimmylookatme]

Random but how do you guys deal with it when people kind of tease you for not being settled down? (Or do you just know less annoying people than me? ) Someone at work was teasing me yesterday for the fact that I still don’t live with my partner and joking that ‘are you sure it isn’t just that he doesn’t actually like you/it’s because he wants his lady friends over’ etc etc and it’s something I’m pretty insecure about (the not living together, not the him having ‘lady friends’ (ew) because he definitely doesn’t haha.) I just laughed it off but I don’t know if there’s a nice way of saying cut it out without looking all touchy and weird

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

The woman at work is way out of line. Pathetic and immaturely negging you. Just don't answer her and walk away. I'd glare at her I think. Send a message without saying anything.

 

[xcyber]

Random but how do you guys deal with it when people kind of tease you for not being settled down? (Or do you just know less annoying people than me? ) Someone at work was teasing me yesterday for the fact that I still don’t live with my partner and joking that ‘are you sure it isn’t just that he doesn’t actually like you/it’s because he wants his lady friends over’ etc etc and it’s something I’m pretty insecure about (the not living together, not the him having ‘lady friends’ (ew) because he definitely doesn’t haha.) I just laughed it off but I don’t know if there’s a nice way of saying cut it out without looking all touchy and weird

Sounds like she’s projecting and her own bf/husband is probably cheating lol.

Honestly, if there’s one life lesson I would like to teach any future children I may have and it’s something I figured out in school was that if you own your tit and make fun of it yourself no one else can. I had a weird childhood and wasn’t allowed to do a lot of things but I’d just openly take the piss about it myself so that no one else had a chance to. Similarly when I was single FOREVER I just would make the joke myself before anyone else could. Self deprecation worked for me and it felt like I had control of the situation. Some may argue that it’s not the best approach but for me it was.

This woman sounds like a dick but personally instead of calling her out on it and allowing her to see that it’s something you’re insecure about I’d just take the piss myself next time and I guarantee she’ll never bring it up again. It’s less fun for ppl when you don’t react or rise to it.

 

[LaBlonde]

Random but how do you guys deal with it when people kind of tease you for not being settled down? (Or do you just know less annoying people than me? ) Someone at work was teasing me yesterday for the fact that I still don’t live with my partner and joking that ‘are you sure it isn’t just that he doesn’t actually like you/it’s because he wants his lady friends over’ etc etc and it’s something I’m pretty insecure about (the not living together, not the him having ‘lady friends’ (ew) because he definitely doesn’t haha.) I just laughed it off but I don’t know if there’s a nice way of saying cut it out without looking all touchy and weird

i think some people just can’t be by themselves and so it blows their mind to know that other people happily live that way. the amount of pitying comments i’ve received is ridiculous. and for not having a man?! like, pity me for not having a million pound in the bank, something useful! it absolutely is a kind of projection, they think they themselves could not be comfortable with that and so they express that insecurity masked as “helpful” advice.

 

[Kimmylookatme]

Thanks for the replies! Just dashing off on school run so crap reply from me for now sorry. Interesting everyone thought a woman, I didn’t think to specify and it makes no difference but it was a man but you’re dead on with the insecurity I think as he too is single so definitely some projecting there

 

[wibblywobblywoo]

Thanks for the replies! Just dashing off on school run so crap reply from me for now sorry. Interesting everyone thought a woman, I didn’t think to specify and it makes no difference but it was a man but you’re dead on with the insecurity I think as he too is single so definitely some projecting there

Sounds to me like you have the best of both worlds...you get to spend time with him but don't have all the 'looking after ' him stuff like laundry and cleaning up after him!

You have to set boundaries with people..firstly I'd say what business is it of yours to be asking such personal questions and secondly the conversation is making you feel uncomfortable so you tell him to please stop.

He's some bloke at work and not your friend, treat him accordingly!

 

[unidentified]

Random but how do you guys deal with it when people kind of tease you for not being settled down? (Or do you just know less annoying people than me? ) Someone at work was teasing me yesterday for the fact that I still don’t live with my partner and joking that ‘are you sure it isn’t just that he doesn’t actually like you/it’s because he wants his lady friends over’ etc etc and it’s something I’m pretty insecure about (the not living together, not the him having ‘lady friends’ (ew) because he definitely doesn’t haha.) I just laughed it off but I don’t know if there’s a nice way of saying cut it out without looking all touchy and weird

This is so rude. I’m single but if people ask I discuss a couple of reasons depending on who it is that make’s conversation. One is I absolutely will not just settle. I can meet my needs and I don’t need a mediocre man to do that. I often add in a jokey bit about I also don’t go anywhere to meet anyone. Another point I make is how wary I am of inviting a man into my life because of my daughter and things I know from the job I do. Background on that is I work as a midwife and sexual offences examiner and the biggest known risk to children in the home (particularly girls). It definitely makes me wary and those who I work with understand that completely.

 

[Sandor]

Random but how do you guys deal with it when people kind of tease you for not being settled down? (Or do you just know less annoying people than me? ) Someone at work was teasing me yesterday for the fact that I still don’t live with my partner and joking that ‘are you sure it isn’t just that he doesn’t actually like you/it’s because he wants his lady friends over’ etc etc and it’s something I’m pretty insecure about (the not living together, not the him having ‘lady friends’ (ew) because he definitely doesn’t haha.) I just laughed it off but I don’t know if there’s a nice way of saying cut it out without looking all touchy and weird

I hate that his assumption is that it’s the guys choice on this. Obviously in your case, it’s not wrong per se but you could be the one that wants to ‘live together apart’. I know I don’t particularly want to live with anyone again. I’d maybe Helena and Tim it with adjacent houses…

Which is to say I’d probably answer with something that called out that aspect of it

 

[xcyber]

Thanks for the replies! Just dashing off on school run so crap reply from me for now sorry. Interesting everyone thought a woman, I didn’t think to specify and it makes no difference but it was a man but you’re dead on with the insecurity I think as he too is single so definitely some projecting there

It’s funny because now that you’ve said he’s a guy I’m thinking a) the same as above in that he’s projecting and bitter but also b) he fancies you

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

Also really icky that it's a guy. Don't you have football to fuss about?

 

[SpindleWhorl]

Is it worth seeing someone with an 11 year age gap (with him the younger one ).He seems keen and mature

 

[itsnotmereally]

Is it worth seeing someone with an 11 year age gap (with him the younger one ).He seems keen and mature

As long as you have similar goals / aspirations etc.

 

[SpindleWhorl]

As long as you have similar goals / aspirations etc.

I think so but only at the talking stage on tinder, I'm going through a bit of a dry spell atm and I'm just relieved to be talking to someone

 

[Agent Cooper]

Just dropping by to say hello @Belle123 @LaBlonde and anyone else who remembers me. I still read the thread now & again and see that not much changes regarding the men! I have zero messages these days on my phone & my time on the apps seems like a distant memory and not a good one!
As I told you I now have a baby granddaughter who is so sweet at 3 months old & a rather worrying health concern that has developed recently so men barely feature in my daily thoughts.
I wish you all good luck and strength to continue. I don't think I've ever come across such a wonderful group of women as these threads. Keep on being marvelous and discerning! Lots of love. FP. Xx
@Agent Cooper I was thinking of you only last night! When you were Raymond. We joined the thread around the same time. Hope you are keeping well.

Hi Fledging Psycho! I’m doing fine, I don’t post on here anymore but I still read every thread How funny, I was thinking about you the other day wondering where you went. So glad to hear about your granddaughter, and I really hope the health concern will be sorted out as soon as possible, I’ll keep you in my thoughts.

@Fledgling Psycho so good to hear from you, hopefully the health stuff will sort itself out ahh the good old days of Agent Copper and do you remember Bunny too ? I wonder how they both are doing?

I never realised so many Tattlers remember me Must say I’m very flattered! I’m doing well, decided to stop dating altogether because I just wasn’t interested enough and focus on my career instead. Not a traditional girl-meets-boy happy ending but I’m quite content with my life right now. I have something exciting planned for this year, fingers crossed it all turns out well. Hope you are doing fine too!

i see @Agent Cooper quite frequently over on the reading/books thread - they’re doing good (still their usual witty and fabulous self)!

Agh you are making me blush!!!



Just wanted to say that although I no longer post, I still follow this thread and am rooting for all of you beautiful ladies I might still jump in if I happen to have something wise to say haha. May 2023 be the year all your dreams come true (no matter whether there is a man in there or not)!

 

[wibblywobblywoo]

Is it worth seeing someone with an 11 year age gap (with him the younger one ).He seems keen and mature

I always date younger

 

[Peppermint Tea]

Evening Ladies! Me and the guy I’ve been dating since just before Christmas have decided that there isn’t really a romantic spark between us, and it’s more of a friendship connection. I feel a little bit sad that it hasn’t worked out, but also quite relieved. I’d started to have a few niggles about whether we were a good match romantically, but I do think he’d make a great friend. We have a lot of shared interests, & we like doing the same things. On paper we’re a really good match, but the ‘spark’ just isn’t there & I know you can’t force these things. The thought of swiping again fills me with horror, but one thing this experience has proved to me is that there are nice men on the apps. This guy might not have been my person, but he is a genuinely nice guy, and if there’s one then there must be others. Once more into the breach!

 

[al255]

I’ve got my date today. It feels weird because we already know each other, we’ve lots of friends in common and we used to work together! I just worry we won’t have anything to talk about cos we know each other??? but we are going mini golf and out for food and drinks so I’m really looking forward to it. He told me last night he’s excited

 

[wibblywobblywoo]

I’ve got my date today. It feels weird because we already know each other, we’ve lots of friends in common and we used to work together! I just worry we won’t have anything to talk about cos we know each other??? but we are going mini golf and out for food and drinks so I’m really looking forward to it. He told me last night he’s excited

Sounds like a lovely day ahead. I'm sure you will probably be amazed about how much you do have to talk about ! Make sure you thrash him at the golf

Evening Ladies! Me and the guy I’ve been dating since just before Christmas have decided that there isn’t really a romantic spark between us, and it’s more of a friendship connection. I feel a little bit sad that it hasn’t worked out, but also quite relieved. I’d started to have a few niggles about whether we were a good match romantically, but I do think he’d make a great friend. We have a lot of shared interests, & we like doing the same things. On paper we’re a really good match, but the ‘spark’ just isn’t there & I know you can’t force these things. The thought of swiping again fills me with horror, but one thing this experience has proved to me is that there are nice men on the apps. This guy might not have been my person, but he is a genuinely nice guy, and if there’s one then there must be others. Once more into the breach!

Thank you for putting a good one back into the dating pool would've been so easy to plod on with him, many many do, but being true to yourself and your heart takes courage so well done you.

The apps seem to be really busy at the mo but I'm sure that will change as the weather does. Good luck

 

[Thank(space)you]

I'm actually talking to several men on the apps at the moment

Cancelled a date yesterday as he was giving it zero effort (nothing planned as "decide when you get here", me driving to him rather than meeting halfway or him coming here etc)

Got another date Sunday

I'm not overly attached to any of them and going into it with a very easy breezy attitude which I think is good, albeit unusual for me.