As ever, women cannot win in the eyes of the men population. The perfect woman must be a damsel who needs a man but also completely has her tit together financially and emotionally and must not expect anything of the man she's seeing.
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Isn't it about balance though ? Of course we all want to be with someone that brings equal to the table but don't good relationships work because we compliment each others needs ? Some people are by their nature more nurturing and loving, I doubt there is a single woman that will say they don't want a man with those qualities, and I like to think I have both those qualities too so I like to look after others.
And their are definitely women that play on being the damsel in distress, not gonna lie when my front door lock broke recently and my door wouldn't shut I played that role in order to get the man to come fix it the same day!
And their are definitely women that play on being the damsel in distress, not gonna lie when my front door lock broke recently and my door wouldn't shut I played that role in order to get the man to come fix it the same day!
you played a role to get a man to help you? I'd rather pay a handyman or as a family member just to help. Why are we advocating playing up to a certain role?
there’s a difference between wanting someone to be nurturing and loving to someone finding the damsel complex to be attractive tbh. the original post was someone being told they have too much “masculine energy” to attract a man which is a entirely different scenario to naturally wanting someone who is going to protect them. it’s ick and just plays into the helpless woman stereotype.
and ily wibbly but i’m not touching that second paragraph with a barge pole
I paid a locksmith to come fix my door but he was fully booked and couldn't come for 2 days.. I played on the fact I live alone and was worried about having to prop my door shut for 2 days !
I don't think that's playing up to a role, that's just explaining your predicament which I'd also do. It's not a weakness, merely facts. I live alone, I need this done asap.
Would a man having said the same got him round the same day? I doubt it. The fact I was vulnerable and a woman was the only reason he came the same day. Which I was incredibly grateful for!
Anyway enough about me and my door. As @LaBlonde has said I've missed the point a little. A man suggesting a woman that has her tit together exudes masculine energy is definitely a man to give a wide berth. Most men are drawn to women that are confident and independent and see them as attractive qualities. The sexist ones are always going to exist though sadly!
Of course but your original post suggested we play up to a damsel in distress stereotype when really there's no need. Just being ourselves and honest is enough. It's okay to be vulnerable.
No that's not what my post said, it said there will always be some women that take on that role and I infact was guilty of doing it myself recently to get my door fixed. I think if we are honest I'm sure at some point we've all needed a man to help us with something and played upto being a woman...maybe it's just me!
i think it depends. in a locksmith’s pov, the door is unsafe so he probably would have but i get the overall point. i broke down on the side of the motorway once and as soon as the rac realised i was a girl! alone! they were there in about ten minutes. i know male friends who have waited much longer because the assumption is, i suppose, that they’re going to be fine. i certainly benefitted from it so didn’t complain!
i think, like we’ve said a lot over the last few days it seems, that people are allowed to find certain things attractive and a lot of men DO find the damsel thing attractive. i guess it plays into the whole hunter-provider narrative but i don’t personally think i would get great vibes from a man who would want me to be that way.
This whole you're too independent/ have too much masculine energy just makes me sick it really does. I've had this said to me many times as a reason why I'm single. By both men and women. But I refuse to diminish myself or make myself smaller because men are threatened by me. I can't do the helpless female act, and tbh I don't want to either. I've got a few friends who do this, one who has never filled her car with fuel, her husband does it for her 
I'm sure if for any reason he is no longer able to she will just find another man to do it for her.
However sometimes there are things I genuinely physically can't do...the irony then is that I'm told to do them myself anyway! I've learned there's no point in ever asking for help now. My ex used to do this all the time, tell me I shouldn't struggle with stuff and then when I asked him to help he was too busy, or he didn't see the point in helping me to, for example, improve my house because it didn't financially benefit him.
I'm sure if for any reason he is no longer able to she will just find another man to do it for her. However sometimes there are things I genuinely physically can't do...the irony then is that I'm told to do them myself anyway! I've learned there's no point in ever asking for help now. My ex used to do this all the time, tell me I shouldn't struggle with stuff and then when I asked him to help he was too busy, or he didn't see the point in helping me to, for example, improve my house because it didn't financially benefit him.
Having a sad day today 
my child will be 7 next month. I'm still single, gonna be too old for another child soon. Just never thought this would be my life
my child will be 7 next month. I'm still single, gonna be too old for another child soon. Just never thought this would be my lifedidn’t you say you’ve just turned 30 in an earlier post? that is nowhere near too old for another child, please don’t stress yourself out about that.Having a sad day today
I feel you.. im not single, but im with someone who isn’t sure if they ever want children and at this point in time can’t even imagine us living together with my children (oldest is 11.) im 31 so there is arguably plenty of time but equally im like… I don’t want a 21 year old and a newborn, and I don’t want to never get a proper career because my children have been so spaced out, if I was lucky enough to have another one in the future. It’s ok to have sad days just remember they will pass and life brings mysterious things, you never know what’s round the corner!Having a sad day today
My son's dad HATED my independent streak 
You spelled too young wrong.Having a sad day today
Why would you even need to play up to that? That's a legitimate reason and real threat to women.
being the stereotype of a woman*
It's literally just gender roles and the patriarchy repackaged with a little bit of "spiritualism" sprinkled on top
bring the focus back to you! it's not about whether he's going to reject you or not it's about whether he's good enough for YOU. remember you might also reject him, you have just as much control in the situation!
They think it's build-a-bear
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I love u @LaBlonde and @EddyDarling too. Spot ON
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I completely understand this. I’m 35 this year and never thought I would only have one child. My daughter is 16 this year. I feel it’s a part I grieve for. I’ve looked into sperm donors but I can’t do it because my dad already helps me out with childcare (and dog sitting) and I can’t put a baby on him (I work 12 hour shifts) away from home. I do want another baby but unless I find someone this year I will have to give up on the idea foreverHaving a sad day today
So just thought I’d update you all on seeing this guy! We went out last weekend, and we met on Friday, he took me out for dinner and came back to mine, more drinks! He is lovely - I think it helps we’ve known each other years 
he’s taking me bowling and out for dinner on Friday night too! He said he’s got feelings for me and he doesn’t get how I like him as he’s and I quote “a 4/10”.. but I said I want more from someone than them being gorgeous - I’ve dated gorgeous men in the past and they’ve been dickheads! He’s invited me to be his plus one for a wedding next May so he clearly sees this going somewhere I’m very optimistic - he plans dates and I don’t have to think about it, he doesn’t ignore me or have me wondering what’s going on. This is the bare minimum we should be having from men who claim the like us!! 
he’s taking me bowling and out for dinner on Friday night too! He said he’s got feelings for me and he doesn’t get how I like him as he’s and I quote “a 4/10”.. but I said I want more from someone than them being gorgeous - I’ve dated gorgeous men in the past and they’ve been dickheads! He’s invited me to be his plus one for a wedding next May so he clearly sees this going somewhere I’m very optimistic - he plans dates and I don’t have to think about it, he doesn’t ignore me or have me wondering what’s going on. This is the bare minimum we should be having from men who claim the like us!! I have a date Tuesday and I'm not actually looking forward to it 
the only Amber flag I have is he seems to feel like he's entitled to my time. I don't think he understands between being a single mum and working I don't have much free time
Should I cancel?
the only Amber flag I have is he seems to feel like he's entitled to my time. I don't think he understands between being a single mum and working I don't have much free timeShould I cancel?
yes!!!!! It will only get worse. I’m a single mum and there is nothing worse than someone who thinks you should be giving them all your attention. I’ve had men in the past getting pissed off when they should realise my child comes firstI have a date Tuesday and I'm not actually looking forward to it
Should I cancel?
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