Ok just to clarify, when I said I had no baggage I meant really that I don’t have any crazy exes or any kids or addictions etc. Obviously I have experienced many many things in life, a lot of which are pretty traumatic but stuff I’d only tell someone way down the line. But also I don’t see those things as baggage but just stories from my life. Just as I wouldn’t judge someone’s life experiences as baggage.
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I’ve been to Iceland a couple of times just me and my daughter and there was loads of single tourists. Not a fly and flop though
Everyone has different views based off their own experiences and I respect that, so I hope this doesn’t come across rudely at all (and I acknowledge this is personally a bit triggering for me which impacts my response) - but I think it’s a little bit harsh to refer to kids as baggage, and put them in the same category as addictions and crazy exes. My son is 8 and whilst parenting is hard, I certainly don’t view him as baggage when I am dating. He is an absolute pleasure to be around, and if I met someone I would feel they are lucky to be able to spend time with him. I’d be pretty offended if someone viewed him as baggage.
I understand that dating someone with a child isn’t for everyone, particularly if you don’t have your own (obviously I haven’t had that experience!), but I just don’t think kids are “baggage”.
There have been a few threads posted. If you search using ‘travel’ in the advice section you’ll find them but here is one example - https://tattle.life/threads/solo-travel-advice-recommendations.30366/
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You may absolutely not see children as baggage but I’d say a reasonably high percentage of child-free people, particularly of a younger age, probably would. Often when discussing baggage people are talking about things from the past that have affected someone emotionally and that they continue to carry with them, that often shape their behaviours in new relationships. An example might be having been cheated on in the past means that you may find it harder to trust or be more suspicious, not taking what is told to you at face value.
But children can be deemed as baggage by some because often children in the picture means that person is still in contact with their ex partner which can mean drama if the relationship didn’t end well or that relationship always feeling more fresh than it should/would otherwise because it’s never really left completely in the past as they’ll remain a topic of conversation and their name mentioned more often; the child possibly not being accepting of sharing their parent with a new person or resenting them for not being their real mother or father; the child(ren) always being the other person’s number one priority so everything would be dropped to accommodate their care (rightly so!) should they be ill, childcare fall through etc.; the planning needed to involve children in plans either bringing them with you or finding means of having them looked after which would impact on the ability to be spontaneous.
Baggage is not always a bad thing. It shows someone has lived a life, has dealt with difficult obstacles and has overcome them. I can’t think that many people over the age of 30 don’t carry some around with them, even if they are not aware of it. Someone, for example, who has never been in a proper relationship has the baggage of that fact - concerns there might be something wrong with them, worries about not knowing how to behave in a relationship - which can sabotage actually getting into one.
Your son will probably make you much more switched on about who you’ll let into your life and home by virtue of the fact you’ll be inviting them into his too.
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“baggage” genuinely doesn’t even look like a word anymore at this point.
in the nicest possible way, can we draw a line under this? i think it was clear what the original posters in the original conversation meant and (since yesterday) this seems to be getting into competitive baggage, which helps no one. everyone has it, everyone has different limits on what they’ll take on in relationship. no one is wrong on any level with that and no one was judging anyone. people are “allowed” to say if a particular thing doesn’t work,
or is not compatible, for them
in the nicest possible way, can we draw a line under this? i think it was clear what the original posters in the original conversation meant and (since yesterday) this seems to be getting into competitive baggage, which helps no one. everyone has it, everyone has different limits on what they’ll take on in relationship. no one is wrong on any level with that and no one was judging anyone. people are “allowed” to say if a particular thing doesn’t work,
or is not compatible, for them
hi, I went to Marbella a few years ago on my own. Loved it! I stayed in a lovely hotel, half board. I booked for five nights and ended up extending it while I was there and staged an extra three. Highly recommend!
i know we wanted to draw a line under but I just wanted to say this - my narc ex had 3 kids which I thought would be tricky (I’d always said I wouldn’t date anyone with kids & then ya know, went with someone who had 3 
) but honestly, the kids were the least problematic thing of that relationship hahaha. He is my baggage 
Anyway, has anyone got any dates planned this weekend?
Im still in the whole “I hate men” phased so not even entertaining dating. I did get my nails Valentine’s Day themed though
) but honestly, the kids were the least problematic thing of that relationship hahaha. He is my baggage Anyway, has anyone got any dates planned this weekend?
Im still in the whole “I hate men” phased so not even entertaining dating. I did get my nails Valentine’s Day themed though
Do it! You won't regret it. My only advice would be to book somewhere central so there are lots of people around in the evenings when you are walking back to your hotel. I found evenings tougher for eating alone but I tried to decide during the day where I would go that night so I had a plan. Enjoy.Thanks alli will check out that thread. Just need to go ahead & book a holiday by myself as I’ve wasted too much time waiting on friends to let me know when suits them.
i’m only getting a date if i pay a man to do itAnyway, has anyone got any dates planned this weekend?
Im still in the whole “I hate men” phased so not even entertaining dating. I did get my nails Valentine’s Day themed though
seriously though, i’m off the apps and off to vegas on wednesday so just getting my last holiday planning done this weekend 
photos of the valentines nails please! they sound cute af
Imi’m only getting a date if i pay a man to do it
photos of the valentines nails please! they sound cute af
Sooooooo jealous you’re going to Vegas! Have an amazing time
here are the nails
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thank you! i plan to shop a lot and have a margarita in my hand at all timesIm
Sooooooo jealous you’re going to Vegas! Have an amazing time
here are the nails
they’re as cute as i knew they would be
i love the colour combo and the little hearts on your middle nails!
I've been to New York and Barcelona on my own! They were both fantastic places, I could go at my own place, eat where I wanted etc.
I found in New York, that everybody was so friendly, I never really felt alone you know? I went to a nice sushi restaurant one night and sat between two couples at the chefs table - let me tell you I was glad to have my own time not speaking to anybody after that dinner!! They were so lovely and we chatted all night, but I needed some respite after
Barcelona was a bit different, my Spanish was alright at the time but a bit limited. Seeing all the nice Gaudi buildings though and the food was delicious.
I would 100% recommend going away alone. It's a great refresher to realise that YOU are the best company you can have!
I think baggage as a term might be something people take as an insult or see as a derogatory term. It’s not, it’s just a fact. And by it I mean additional factors that could fundamentally impact you if you were to be in a relationship with someone. Nothing more nothing less. No offence implied x
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I think someone mentioned NYC which I agree is totally fun on your own. I went on an all inclusive holiday to Lanzarote on my own for 4 days a couple years ago lol and it was honestly great… although I was just getting a drunk a lot on my own…
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They don't but if they message you and you skip it they can send another. And you only message the ones you are interested in or you will end up with the weirdos and time wasters constantly messaging. When I first started on the apps I was a lot politer and would reply to all saying thanks for the mesage but I'm not interested but soon learnt not to do that! Some men don't take rejection well and some will persist in trying to change your mind. Only respond to the ones you are genuinely interested in.
Your profile should be honest but not too personal or too much information.
I am over seeing men with Turkey teef. The apps are full of them.
p.s I can spell teeth it’s just how they all say it and I panicked people would think I was thick
p.s I can spell teeth it’s just how they all say it and I panicked people would think I was thick
They don't know if you haven't liked their profile no, only if you have.
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