Dating after lockdown #21 More red flags than Pamplona, we don’t wanna know about your boner.
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I literally was just wondering about him and was meaning to ask what was happening. What an absolute saddo he turned out to be! So slimy and manipulative. Embarrassing at his age whatever it is.
Agreed, his profile says 49 but he said he was 47!
The very bare minimum would be an apology in my book but I've learnt that men like him don't ever say sorry. The anger I felt has gone, now I just feel pity for him but more so his poor wife, because I'm pretty sure he has one.
For some reason I expected him to be in his mid 30s.
I’m wondering if this is also what he did to the so called “oddball” who FaceTimed his child (if we believe that story or if indeed the oddball exists..) Not everyone will go quietly when they’ve been led up the garden path and subsequently ghosted.
The first man I ever met from an app told me on our first date that he’d been on one date with a woman, let her down gently when he realised he wasn’t feeling it and she then turned up at his work and started kicking up a stink to his secretary, demanding to speak to him while he hid from her in his office. I went on 3 dates with him and he ghosted me after I’d slept with him for the first time. After my naive, 2018 self recovered from the trauma of that happening, the story he’d told me about the woman came to mind, along with how expertly he’d manipulated me into believing he wanted a relationship. Ever since then I’ve seen any such stories of “oddball” or “psycho” women as the stonking red flags that they usually are.
Oh yeah, any man with a "crazy ex" raises tons of red flags for me immediately. I'm sure there are cases out there where exes are crazy, but usually those are presented with a lot of insight and reflection of both parties being the underlying cause.
If they aren't reflective on that, or if he says she was abusive without details it's definitely a hell no from me. And not because I don't believe men can't be abused, but because I have zero way to verify those stories. It is extremely common for narcissistic abusers to claim they were the abused party. Not even taking the chance.
If they aren't reflective on that, or if he says she was abusive without details it's definitely a hell no from me. And not because I don't believe men can't be abused, but because I have zero way to verify those stories. It is extremely common for narcissistic abusers to claim they were the abused party. Not even taking the chance.
What I think is really scary is just how naturally manipulative some (most) men are! It's not even calculating in many cases, just in their DNA or something. I just don't believe women generally are in the same proportion. I'd like to throw a bucket of algae & pigs excrement over Bagpuss7 latest prince from Badooland! As he cock of the walks out of his office. Yep I'd like to go real Fledgling Psycho over this specimen.
And I would stand and applaud! It did cross my mind that the so called odd ball may well have experienced what I did with him and rather than rolling over like I have she tracked him down. Its not my style especially when there could be children involved but I absolutely get why some women don't take it lying down and demand answers/ closure. I'm puzzled and curious and would love answers as to why but I've learnt the hard way you just don't get an answer so it's better for me to just move on. Which I have done. Do I think he may pop up again when the dust has settled? Quite possibly but equally may never hear from him again and I'm ok with that too. I'm becoming more and more resigned to being alone and I'm actually finding a lot of peace with that.
It's my child's birthday this weekend, the first one since we lost their dad. They are my priority and the absolute light of my life so I'm going to continue to be a bloody good mum and all round good egg for their sake
Happy birthday to them.. I hope they have a great weekendAnd I would stand and applaud! It did cross my mind that the so called odd ball may well have experienced what I did with him and rather than rolling over like I have she tracked him down. Its not my style especially when there could be children involved but I absolutely get why some women don't take it lying down and demand answers/ closure. I'm puzzled and curious and would love answers as to why but I've learnt the hard way you just don't get an answer so it's better for me to just move on. Which I have done. Do I think he may pop up again when the dust has settled? Quite possibly but equally may never hear from him again and I'm ok with that too. I'm becoming more and more resigned to being alone and I'm actually finding a lot of peace with that.
It's my child's birthday this weekend, the first one since we lost their dad. They are my priority and the absolute light of my life so I'm going to continue to be a bloody good mum and all round good egg for their sake
Weekend pub crawl with friends and then lunch and shopping with their old mum..Happy birthday to them.. I hope they have a great weekend
@Bagpuss7 You haven’t rolled over. You’ve kept a dignified silence and for what it’s worth, I think you’ve played it exactly right. As far as he has to know, all is well, God is good and you don’t give a flying duck either way. 
Have a lovely weekend with your child.
Have a lovely weekend with your child.
Well done @Bagpuss7. I like your style and of course I jest about the bucket of algae & pigs excrement but wouldn't it be fun to duck up that losers phone, outfit & reputation. I bet your kids love you so much and if you do meet someone eventually I'm sure you'll be the Expert in red flags after your experiences! Being single is a luxury compared the women who are involved with these wet wipes on the apps. Imagine having to watch it in grey trackie bottoms scratching its arse & gaming while trawling the apps. 
I'm honestly starting to see it as a privilege being single and being in control of my day. Don't get me wrong I listen to my friends making plans about nights out / holidays/ weekends away/ meals out with their husbands and I feel a pang inside me but I also think that at the moment my life is as it is and for whatever reason so I just go with it.Well done @Bagpuss7. I like your style and of course I jest about the bucket of algae & pigs excrement but wouldn't it be fun to duck up that losers phone, outfit & reputation. I bet your kids love you so much and if you do meet someone eventually I'm sure you'll be the Expert in red flags after your experiences! Being single is a luxury compared the women who are involved with these wet wipes on the apps. Imagine having to watch it in grey trackie bottoms scratching its arse & gaming while trawling the apps.
I'm lucky most of my friends loathe their husbands. 
I totally agree with the if a guy talks about his psycho ex then it’s a red flag however, my narc ex (who was horrendously emotionally manipulative) & the previous guy I’ve spoke about on here (in hindsight was quite manipulative too) both spoke highly/good of their ex’s which I took as green flags…how wrong was I 
so basically, just keep your wits about you ladies
so basically, just keep your wits about you ladiesI asked prison guy asked if he wanted to try and see each other this weekend and he replied going “unfortunately I’m busy all weekend x”
no ‘can’t this weekend but what about Monday?’ And he hasn’t text asking how my day was or explained what he’s doing. While my friends are saying “lads think differently, lads don’t like we do!” but I then text going “ok no worries. I’ll leave it upto You then to organise when we’ll see each other.” NOTHING BACK!!!
But to hear nothing?! NOTHING. One of my values is involvement - I like being involved, and someone involving me in their life and vice Versa. And with what everyone was saying on here- he isn’t interested. He can be as guarded and so am I, but I’m willing to be open and try. And work on my behaviour.
So I’m just gonna leave him be, I’m not gonna message, delete his number, delete our chat and when he messages, I’m gonna match his tone!
duck making an effort. I’m a bloody catch!! And he’s old enough to know better that if he carries on, I won’t be here & I’ll be enjoying my peace x
no ‘can’t this weekend but what about Monday?’ And he hasn’t text asking how my day was or explained what he’s doing. While my friends are saying “lads think differently, lads don’t like we do!” but I then text going “ok no worries. I’ll leave it upto You then to organise when we’ll see each other.” NOTHING BACK!!!
But to hear nothing?! NOTHING. One of my values is involvement - I like being involved, and someone involving me in their life and vice Versa. And with what everyone was saying on here- he isn’t interested. He can be as guarded and so am I, but I’m willing to be open and try. And work on my behaviour.
So I’m just gonna leave him be, I’m not gonna message, delete his number, delete our chat and when he messages, I’m gonna match his tone!
duck making an effort. I’m a bloody catch!! And he’s old enough to know better that if he carries on, I won’t be here & I’ll be enjoying my peace xduck him. Sorry blunt, have had a wineI asked prison guy asked if he wanted to try and see each other this weekend and he replied going “unfortunately I’m busy all weekend x”
no ‘can’t this weekend but what about Monday?’ And he hasn’t text asking how my day was or explained what he’s doing. While my friends are saying “lads think differently, lads don’t like we do!” but I then text going “ok no worries. I’ll leave it upto You then to organise when we’ll see each other.” NOTHING BACK!!!
But to hear nothing?! NOTHING. One of my values is involvement - I like being involved, and someone involving me in their life and vice Versa. And with what everyone was saying on here- he isn’t interested. He can be as guarded and so am I, but I’m willing to be open and try. And work on my behaviour.
So I’m just gonna leave him be, I’m not gonna message, delete his number, delete our chat and when he messages, I’m gonna match his tone!
it’s ok lol it’s true, duck him
Mines having a depressive bout. Feel like @candyland_ csn relate to this maybe? I’m trying to do everything right and be supportive but duck, selfishly it’s frustrating as hell when right now should objectively be such a happy time.
Petition to have you have wine every friday and dispense blunt advice here
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