Dating after lockdown #21 More red flags than Pamplona, we don’t wanna know about your boner.
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You can over-evaluate your decision making though, and think that you’re at fault for being too picky when you run into a dry spell or have a run of time wasters. I swung the other way and made myself go on dates with people I didn’t find physically attractive from their photos because perhaps I was being shallow, they might be nicer/worth giving a chance too.
I didn’t change my mind about their attractiveness on the dates, and some were quite angry towards women in an incel type way and wanted to moan about how dating was so hard for them. They also didn’t take rejection well at all.
You’re allowed to have preferences that include height and appearance. You’re allowed to follow your gut when you start to chat to someone if you feel they’re more of a friend than a potential partner.
I had to send a difficult text recently. I had Covid & was trying ghosting (too ill to feel guilty)but he kept messaging asking was something up. I was really nice, said I'd been I'll, wished him all the best (he'd met a woman but hoped to see me still occasionally) but I didn't fancy him enough to contemplate this. Anyways after this very polite, kind rational realistic text I go NO reply! So pointless worrying.
I have nothing to say on how to break up that hasn’t already been said! And it’s not even a break up after one date. I was so worried about letting someone very lovely down. Spent ages formulating the perfect text. His response: no probs! Just let him know. Ghosting is the worst.
in relation to being attracted to unavailability, I’ve been reading a lot about this too, we mistake the insecurity and instability the asshole creates with chemistry
Oh and the coffee date was grand. Instantly not attracted at all but nice little chat and delighted I did it. Felt kinda bad cos he drove two hours and after 75 mins I brought our walk back to his car! But I’m not doing any of us any favours by killing time just for sake of it.
in relation to being attracted to unavailability, I’ve been reading a lot about this too, we mistake the insecurity and instability the asshole creates with chemistry
Oh and the coffee date was grand. Instantly not attracted at all but nice little chat and delighted I did it. Felt kinda bad cos he drove two hours and after 75 mins I brought our walk back to his car! But I’m not doing any of us any favours by killing time just for sake of it.
you are very much damn right with your definition of “let’s see where it goes” he’s FINALY text back this morning and said “sorry I was out in town haha you ok?” I’m leaving it before I reply with ‘I hope you had A good night. Yeah I’m good x’
I’m matching his energy now
So I feel your pain. I matched with a guy on Hinge and it’s the same chat EVERY day. What we are doing etc, it’s boring. We aren’t really talking about anything exciting and some days it’s like trying to get blood out of a stone.
We are meant to be going on a date on Thursday night but I’m going to cancel and just say I’ve got childcare issues🫣
Also talking to this other guy who said “I’m worth the wait” as we can’t go on a date for a few weekends due to being busy but his texting is abit tit, he read my message last night and didn’t reply. I text him saying are you ok?xx and he said he was sorry for not replying, said he would reply right away and he hasn’t
okkk then
We are meant to be going on a date on Thursday night but I’m going to cancel and just say I’ve got childcare issues🫣
Also talking to this other guy who said “I’m worth the wait” as we can’t go on a date for a few weekends due to being busy but his texting is abit tit, he read my message last night and didn’t reply. I text him saying are you ok?xx and he said he was sorry for not replying, said he would reply right away and he hasn’t
okkk then
i was chatting with a guy like this a few weeks back too. it was absolutely like getting blood from a stone and he was obviously just going through the motions of how are you, how was your day, how was work with no real substance to anything. i dread to think what the chat would have been like in real life!
though i have covid right now and it sure would be nice to have a man around that i could send to the shops for me and to bring me water and stuff. they have their uses
Yeah I feel like that too- I don’t really know what we would talk about in person….🫠I feel mean but at the same time do I go and give it a shot? He might just be tit at textingi was chatting with a guy like this a few weeks back too. it was absolutely like getting blood from a stone and he was obviously just going through the motions of how are you, how was your day, how was work with no real substance to anything. i dread to think what the chat would have been like in real life!
though i have covid right now and it sure would be nice to have a man around that i could send to the shops for me and to bring me water and stuff. they have their uses
oh I just can’t with that shite. I am probably guilty of oversharing and I’m sure I bore the arse off men with my waffling on. But I want to be around someone That can carry a conversation, and keep me engaged and excited to hear from them. It’s too easy carry the burden for someone else. duck that tit. If they aren’t carrying their conversational weight then sayonara. Imagine the inanity of a life together!?i was chatting with a guy like this a few weeks back too. it was absolutely like getting blood from a stone and he was obviously just going through the motions of how are you, how was your day, how was work with no real substance to anything. i dread to think what the chat would have been like in real life!
though i have covid right now and it sure would be nice to have a man around that i could send to the shops for me and to bring me water and stuff. they have their uses
i wish I could help with your covid isolation! The only time I ever really resent my singlehood is when I’m in need of a little looking after. It’s hard to ask friends, but a partner kind of has to!
Regarding the attraction to unavailable people:
We accept the love we think we deserve.
It’s a quote from The Perks of being a Wallflower, and in my experience it is often true. Try to figure out why you keep going for these unavailable men and why you do not want any better for yourself.
@LaBlonde Sorry to hear you caught it. Hope it's not a bad dose. Mine took 10 days to be negative & it wasn't until week 3 my energy returned. It's crap. I relied on Amazon prime groceries & takeaways. Poor guys delivering had to leave it on the path & I was all masked up. Terrified to pass it on. Get well soon. 
That old adage you have to love yourself is so true. I don't think I've ever been in a truly functional relationship what with mine or their issues but I vow to learn what loving myself really means. It's my goal now.
That old adage you have to love yourself is so true. I don't think I've ever been in a truly functional relationship what with mine or their issues but I vow to learn what loving myself really means. It's my goal now.
thank you@LaBlonde Sorry to hear you caught it. Hope it's not a bad dose. Mine took 10 days to be negative & it wasn't until week 3 my energy returned. It's crap. I relied on Amazon prime groceries & takeaways. Poor guys delivering had to leave it on the path & I was all masked up. Terrified to pass it on. Get well soon.
That old adage you have to love yourself is so true. I don't think I've ever been in a truly functional relationship what with mine or their issues but I vow to learn what loving myself really means. It's my goal now.
i’m struggling with the fatigue more than anything - just getting from bed to sofa was an epic endeavour this morning! feeling very grateful that i did a big food shop on thursday that’s my goal too, or at least to be truly happy and content in the life i have for myself (which is pretty great to be fair!) i need a man to complement and empower that, not someone who is hard work or playing games. i’m too tired for that, and not just because of my covid. i know we can both do it so will be cheering you on
Well done
Thank youWell done
I’m starting to over think it now though- but gotta keep strong!I think these men like to mess various women about. Then when the one they do want comes along they'll drop you like a hot cake, no explanation & invariably marry that woman. Bear this in mind when you think about wasting so much energy on someone who's breadcrumbing you. Step right back, focus on yourself & leave him be. He needs to make a lot more effort for you to even take an interest in him. (From experience)Thank you
Completely agree with this, it's like a miracle occurs suddenly when they go from doing the bare minimum with you to a full on instragrammable romance with someone else but they didn't want a relationship blah blah blah....I think these men like to mess various women about. Then when the one they do want comes along they'll drop you like a hot cake, no explanation & invariably marry that woman. Bear this in mind when you think about wasting so much energy on someone who's breadcrumbing you. Step right back, focus on yourself & leave him be. He needs to make a lot more effort for you to even take an interest in him. (From experience)
Yepp seen this time and time again. They morph into a completely different person. Someone who couldn’t be arsed to send you an explanatory text will suddenly be writing some other woman books of poetry
mental.- Status