Dating after lockdown #21 More red flags than Pamplona, we don’t wanna know about your boner.

[boomska]

Don’t stress - are you sure they’re defoooo not still at work? Wait until the morning. DO NOT send another text. Just wait, wait, wait for a reply x

I waited and replied. He replied to my text the night before and then referenced my drinks text and he said “I don’t know when I’m next free tbh lol” okay cool hunny We spoke about his cat and my friend (long story!) and there kinda was a bit of flirting? But how does someone not know when they’re free? So I’m gonna take it that we’re acquaintances only, and the past two times we had sex have just been booty calls abd he has no real desire to get to know me as a person! But I’m glad I waited to not send a sassy text

 

[candyland_]

I waited and replied. He replied to my text the night before and then referenced my drinks text and he said “I don’t know when I’m next free tbh lol” okay cool hunny We spoke about his cat and my friend (long story!) and there kinda was a bit of flirting? But how does someone not know when they’re free? So I’m gonna take it that we’re acquaintances only, and the past two times we had sex have just been booty calls abd he has no real desire to get to know me as a person! But I’m glad I waited to not send a sassy text

This makes me sad.. It sounds like rejection to me or at least that’s how I would take it.

 

[boomska]

This makes me sad.. It sounds like rejection to me or at least that’s how I would take it.

Oh it totally is!! And I replied with something and the rejection just keeps coming. He can go duck himself

 

[candyland_]

Oh it totally is!! And I replied with something and the rejection just keeps coming. He can go duck himself

Good for you..!

I think dating apps have given men a false ego the way they treat women these days. Most of them wouldn’t be looked at twice in the street.

 

[Sprottish]

How are things with yours @candyland_? Heard from him? X

 

[candyland_]

How are things with yours @candyland_? Heard from him? X

We talked a little bit last night and this morning. He doesn’t sound like himself but we have said we want to see each other so I guess that’s something.

Thank you for asking.

 

[Sprottish]

We talked a little bit last night and this morning. He doesn’t sound like himself but we have said we want to see each other so I guess that’s something.

Thank you for asking.

I sometimes think things are much better in person. No matter how well we know someone texts can be misconstrued!

Glad you’ve heard from him

 

[candyland_]

I sometimes think things are much better in person. No matter how well we know someone texts can be misconstrued!

Glad you’ve heard from him

It’s always amazing when we are together but it’s hard not to overthink texts that feel different. He reassures me but it’s still annoying.

 

[boomska]

Good for you..!

I think dating apps have given men a false ego the way they treat women these days. Most of them wouldn’t be looked at twice in the street.

Yeah they truly have. And how kinky he is in bed, ot’ll be hard to match what i’m willing and have done. But it’s just annoying that he doesn’t know when he’s free and agrees that next time we see each other, we should keep our clothes on! Because im good enough to shag, but not good enough to get to know! Bloody brilliant

 

[Lilu22]

How do people ask someone out, even if it’s just for a drink, without the fear of rejection?! There’s someone I really like, he always makes me a cup of tea in the morning at work and we seem to have a lot in common. I can’t help but feel stuck in the friend zone and don’t want make things awkward between us as he is a lovely guy

 

[boomska]

Bloody well! What a 24 hrs my life is.
SO, the guy I asked out for a drinks basically didn’t know when he was free? I said okay fair enough, but next time we see each we will have clothes on (every time we see each other we have sex!) and he said “I agree to be honest lol” I called him out on it and basically said he’s so confusing, it’s like whiplash. And cut a long story short, we basically both admitted we wanted to see where it goes! Xx

 

[al255]

Bloody well! What a 24 hrs my life is.
SO, the guy I asked out for a drinks basically didn’t know when he was free? I said okay fair enough, but next time we see each we will have clothes on (every time we see each other we have sex!) and he said “I agree to be honest lol” I called him out on it and basically said he’s so confusing, it’s like whiplash. And cut a long story short, we basically both admitted we wanted to see where it goes! Xx

I’m going to be honest and say I think he’s having you right on. He’s only said that so you think he’s on the same page as he wants to have his cake and eat it and not have to worry about hurting your feelings if you think he’s on the same page. He didn’t bother to agree to go out for drinks. He just wants you for sex!

 

[boomska]

I’m going to be honest and say I think he’s having you right on. He’s only said that so you think he’s on the same page as he wants to have his cake and eat it and not have to worry about hurting your feelings if you think he’s on the same page. He didn’t bother to agree to go out for drinks. He just wants you for sex!

I appreciate the honest and the different point of view!

I’m excited to see if anything changes- and actions speak louder than words so I will be careful by following my heart But taking my head along with me too xx

 

[candyland_]

Bloody well! What a 24 hrs my life is.
SO, the guy I asked out for a drinks basically didn’t know when he was free? I said okay fair enough, but next time we see each we will have clothes on (every time we see each other we have sex!) and he said “I agree to be honest lol” I called him out on it and basically said he’s so confusing, it’s like whiplash. And cut a long story short, we basically both admitted we wanted to see where it goes! Xx

I don’t want to be negative and I’d hate to spoil your excited vibes but be careful. The guarded part of me thinks he’s changed his tune because you took sex off the table. I’m wary that he will sweet talk you for now and then revert back to how he was yesterday.

 

[al255]

I don’t want to be negative and I’d hate to spoil your excited vibes but be careful. The guarded part of me thinks he’s changed his tune because you took sex off the table. I’m wary that he will sweet talk you for now and then revert back to how he was yesterday.

That’s exactly what I mean too! You worded it better than me. Soon as sex wasn’t in the question he suddenly changed his mind.

 

[candyland_]

I’d give him one chance but I would leave it up to him to make some effort and as soon as he reverts back to how he was earlier this week I would bin him.

 

[grumpy_curry]

Bloody well! What a 24 hrs my life is.
SO, the guy I asked out for a drinks basically didn’t know when he was free? I said okay fair enough, but next time we see each we will have clothes on (every time we see each other we have sex!) and he said “I agree to be honest lol” I called him out on it and basically said he’s so confusing, it’s like whiplash. And cut a long story short, we basically both admitted we wanted to see where it goes! Xx

Are you really willing to "see where this goes" or are you creating emotional bonds with a man who isn't sure about you and haven't even had a "proper" date with - willing something into existence that just isn't there?

I'm not saying not to give him a chance or just enjoy the NSA sex, but also, keep your options open. Go on dates with other people. Take the rose coloured glasses off and try to see him for who he is, good or bad.

So far he has been able to shag you no strings attached twice and is confusing you about his true intentions and, in your own words, sees you "as good enough to shag but not good enough to get to know you". (I think that's you realising the truth because you looked at his actions but he was able to smooth talk you away from that conclusion.)

 

[boomska]

I don’t want to be negative and I’d hate to spoil your excited vibes but be careful. The guarded part of me thinks he’s changed his tune because you took sex off the table. I’m wary that he will sweet talk you for now and then revert back to how he was yesterday.

You’re not being negative at all. I have some reservations as well about this too. Things is we both know sex would always be on the table for us because we’re both in the bedroom, but l just don’t want to get hurt with it being so casually.
Like I said, I’m happy but I’m not going to kid myself that it’s something that it’s not.

Are you really willing to "see where this goes" or are you creating emotional bonds with a man who isn't sure about you and haven't even had a "proper" date with - willing something into existence that just isn't there?

I'm not saying not to give him a chance or just enjoy the NSA sex, but also, keep your options open. Go on dates with other people. Take the rose coloured glasses off and try to see him for who he is, good or bad.

So far he has been able to shag you no strings attached twice and is confusing you about his true intentions and, in your own words, sees you "as good enough to shag but not good enough to get to know you". (I think that's you realising the truth because you looked at his actions but he was able to smooth talk you away from that conclusion.)

I am willing to see where it goes. I think we’re both guarded and been hurt before with past relationships so I think us not rushing into it, and letting it slow build I guess is a good thing. I can get quiet obsessive with the honey moon period cause I get addicted to the high, and then I go “crazy” (hate using that word but it’s the only way to describe it) so I’m wary of my behaviour.

Thing is though some things he’s said In the past have been hurtful but then a month later, I’m back in his bed. So him smooth talking doesn’t really apply in this situation

I’d give him one chance but I would leave it up to him to make some effort and as soon as he reverts back to how he was earlier this week I would bin him.

Yes that’s a very good plan and that’s what I’m doing X

 

[Bagpuss7]

You’re not being negative at all. I have some reservations as well about this too. Things is we both know sex would always be on the table for us because we’re both in the bedroom, but l just don’t want to get hurt with it being so casually.
Like I said, I’m happy but I’m not going to kid myself that it’s something that it’s not.



I am willing to see where it goes. I think we’re both guarded and been hurt before with past relationships so I think us not rushing into it, and letting it slow build I guess is a good thing. I can get quiet obsessive with the honey moon period cause I get addicted to the high, and then I go “crazy” (hate using that word but it’s the only way to describe it) so I’m wary of my behaviour.

Thing is though some things he’s said In the past have been hurtful but then a month later, I’m back in his bed. So him smooth talking doesn’t really apply in this situation


Yes that’s a very good plan and that’s what I’m doing X

Is this the prison guy ? Or a different one ?

 

[boomska]

Is this the prison guy ? Or a different one ?

It’s prison guy x