Dating after lockdown #21 More red flags than Pamplona, we don’t wanna know about your boner.

[Sandor]

I agree too, ending up accidentally working with (and supervising ) the recent ex has been the bane of the last few months. If it hadn’t been like that, I don’t think we’d have back and forthed as much as we did. It’s been an absolute nightmare to not be able to clean break it for both of us. Neither of us can properly heal or move on, however professional we are, the history sort of hangs there.

so I think you need to respect his rule and if that means pulling back on Instagram, I’d definitely do it. Mute his posts for a while etc to give yourself some breathing space if you need to.

 

[al255]

So the guy I’ve been talking to, I’ve just seen his profile on bumble and it says he doesn’t know what he’s looking for (it also says new here, so he’s made it within the last few days) he told me last night he’s defo wanting a relationship.. (his hinge profile says he wants a relationship).. alsooooo I think he’s abit of a red flag at the moment cos he keeps going on about sex. The last two days he’s brought up sex daily and it’s just bizarre. He said he’s open when it comes to sex and you can have the best sex when you trust someone etc, just feels abit??

Anyway I’m still swiping on the apps and it’s just BORING

 

[Belle123]

I agree too, ending up accidentally working with (and supervising ) the recent ex has been the bane of the last few months. If it hadn’t been like that, I don’t think we’d have back and forthed as much as we did. It’s been an absolute nightmare to not be able to clean break it for both of us. Neither of us can properly heal or move on, however professional we are, the history sort of hangs there.

so I think you need to respect his rule and if that means pulling back on Instagram, I’d definitely do it. Mute his posts for a while etc to give yourself some breathing space if you need to.

I feel for you not getting the clean break. I have encountered some successful workplace relationships over the years, that have turned into happy marriages and families. For me, I have personally never wanted to be the butt of office gossip and have steered away from it. I nearly went out with a colleague years ago, but I backed out. He swiped on me on a dating app last year, but we’ve just stuck to being friends - we’re not a good match romantically after all. Like everything, if you go into it with your eyes open, and make choices you’re comfortable with, that’s what counts.

How are you doing at the moment, do you feel you’re healing from it all slowly but surely? x

 

[DollyDiamondxo]

Piece of advice ladies when your feeling crappy about being perpetually single.. don’t go on the ‘things that made you smile’ today thread.. now I have a gratitude list ofc. But going on that literally every post is ‘my bf did this/my bf did that’ n I’m here like ok... can barely get a text back never mind a kind gesture outta someone

 

[LaBlonde]

Piece of advice ladies when your feeling crappy about being perpetually single.. don’t go on the ‘things that made you smile’ today thread.. now I have a gratitude list ofc. But going on that literally every post is ‘my bf did this/my bf did that’ n I’m here like ok... can barely get a text back never mind a kind gesture outta someone

this is the exact reason why i stopped looking on there though i try to think of kind things my friends and work colleagues have done for me during the day instead (obviously none of those things are what i would want my hypothetical bf to do for me, oops, but still )

it’s tough out there, but the best kind gesture is being kind to yourself. we’ll get there

 

[Belle123]

this is the exact reason why i stopped looking on there though i try to think of kind things my friends and work colleagues have done for me during the day instead (obviously none of those things are what i would want my hypothetical bf to do for me, oops, but still )

it’s tough out there, but the best kind gesture is being kind to yourself. we’ll get there

Absolutely be kind to yourself. I am grateful for having the best of friends, who’ve sent me gifts this week, to congratulate me on my promotion. There’s no man who could replace what they bring to my life, how they just get me and are there through thick and thin, cheering me on

 

[Kimmylookatme]

Absolutely be kind to yourself. I am grateful for having the best of friends, who’ve sent me gifts this week, to congratulate me on my promotion. There’s no man who could replace what they bring to my life, how they just get me and are there through thick and thin, cheering me on

you really absolutely cannot beat best friends. The type you laugh till it hurts with and who are there for you through everything no matter how mundane, good or tit. It’s so true that on the whole men will come and go but friends are for life.

 

[LaBlonde]

Absolutely be kind to yourself. I am grateful for having the best of friends, who’ve sent me gifts this week, to congratulate me on my promotion. There’s no man who could replace what they bring to my life, how they just get me and are there through thick and thin, cheering me on

belle it’s lovely to see you! and you are, as always, completely right congratulations again on your promotion, you so deserve it

 

[Belle123]

you really absolutely cannot beat best friends. The type you laugh till it hurts with and who are there for you through everything no matter how mundane, good or tit. It’s so true that on the whole men will come and go but friends are for life.

You definitely can’t. Sometimes it’s so easy to lose sight of what you do have. I think it’s ok to feel a bit sorry for yourself once in a while, as long as you don’t dwell and keep putting your best foot forward. Best friends are for life. I’ve found my friend soul mates, and that makes me a rich person

belle it’s lovely to see you! and you are, as always, completely right congratulations again on your promotion, you so deserve it

Aww thank you so much! It’s certainly given me something positive to focus on and put a spring in my step. Love popping in to this supportive thread, even though I’ve stepped back from dating for a bit x

 

[Wowitsme]

Absolutely miserable in my relationship of about 1 year but I don’t have the guts to end it. It’s nothing massive like trust etc but I’m just miserable and cry a lot!

 

[Belle123]

Absolutely miserable in my relationship of about 1 year but I don’t have the guts to end it. It’s nothing massive like trust etc but I’m just miserable and cry a lot!

I’m so sorry to hear this. What do you think is wrong and making you miserable? Sending a big hug

 

[Losa53]

Aside from all right looking, being a colleague (so understands the job you do, its challenges, potential for it to be anti-social hours) and similarities in age/relationship status is there anything else you particularly like about him?

Circumstance isn’t a strong enough reason IMO and I also think that work place relationships should be avoided at all costs because the fall out if something goes wrong can be at best awkward AF.

He a really nice and we do get on but if it didn't work out it be awkward as you could be crewed together for 12hrs.

 

[Wowitsme]

I’m so sorry to hear this. What do you think is wrong and making you miserable? Sending a big hug

Thank you

He’s quite snappy with me, he takes his bad days out on me a lot generally speaks to me quite badly. Most of the time I do walk on eggshells

He has depression but I don’t think this is an excuse to speak to people like crap

 

[Losa53]

I agree too, ending up accidentally working with (and supervising ) the recent ex has been the bane of the last few months. If it hadn’t been like that, I don’t think we’d have back and forthed as much as we did. It’s been an absolute nightmare to not be able to clean break it for both of us. Neither of us can properly heal or move on, however professional we are, the history sort of hangs there.

so I think you need to respect his rule and if that means pulling back on Instagram, I’d definitely do it. Mute his posts for a while etc to give yourself some breathing space if you need to.

We don't chat that much on ig just the odd message and he will like a few of my pics that's it.
Due to the nature of our jobs a lot of people get into relationships with each other

 

[LaBlonde]

Thank you

He’s quite snappy with me, he takes his bad days out on me a lot generally speaks to me quite badly. Most of the time I do walk on eggshells

He has depression but I don’t think this is an excuse to speak to people like crap

i’m so sorry

no one deserves to be snapped at or spoken to like crap, especially by their partner. he can’t take his frustrations out on you. is this behaviour a relatively new thing in your relationship?

 

[Wowitsme]

i’m so sorry

no one deserves to be snapped at or spoken to like crap, especially by their partner. he can’t take his frustrations out on you. is this behaviour a relatively new thing in your relationship?

A few months but what frustrates me is he is super nice to everyone else and doesn’t say a word when they upset him but just snaps and speaks to me like crap instead

 

[Belle123]

Thank you

He’s quite snappy with me, he takes his bad days out on me a lot generally speaks to me quite badly. Most of the time I do walk on eggshells

He has depression but I don’t think this is an excuse to speak to people like crap

Often people hurt the ones closest to them/who love them the most. You do not have to tolerate this indefinitely. While I’m sorry he has depression, which is a horrible thing for him to handle, you are not there for him to lash out at. It’s his responsibility to get better and treat those around him with respect. You’re not the enemy to him.

Does he do anything proactive to manage it, such as medication, therapy and exercise? If he doesn’t, he needs to. That’s on him, not you. If yes, it’s still not on you to fix him or take his tit. Have you tried talking to him about it, and that it’s making you contemplate the future of your relationship?

 

[DollyDiamondxo]

this is the exact reason why i stopped looking on there though i try to think of kind things my friends and work colleagues have done for me during the day instead (obviously none of those things are what i would want my hypothetical bf to do for me, oops, but still )

it’s tough out there, but the best kind gesture is being kind to yourself. we’ll get there

Had a moment, watched something what’s made me feel super grateful for the things I do have! But I’m still going to keep off that thread lol. I’m best sticking to this one, I like hearing happy stories on here and don’t wish the crappy dating pool on anyone. But it’s nice to share with fellow singles

 

[Wowitsme]

Often people hurt the ones closest to them/who love them the most. You do not have to tolerate this indefinitely. While I’m sorry he has depression, which is a horrible thing for him to handle, you are not there for him to lash out at. It’s his responsibility to get better and treat those around him with respect. You’re not the enemy to him.

Does he do anything proactive to manage it, such as medication, therapy and exercise? If he doesn’t, he needs to. That’s on him, not you. If yes, it’s still not on you to fix him or take his tit. Have you tried talking to him about it, and that it’s making you contemplate the future of your relationship?

Well he is on medication but won’t or can’t go to therapy.

I have spoken to him about it and he’s sorry, says he shouldn’t behave like that etc but he does the same thing 5-7 days later. I just feel like I want to avoid seeing him because of it now which isn’t productive. It’s become exhausting

 

[Clickbait]

Thank you

He’s quite snappy with me, he takes his bad days out on me a lot generally speaks to me quite badly. Most of the time I do walk on eggshells

He has depression but I don’t think this is an excuse to speak to people like crap

Do you live together?