Anyone wanna twll me a positive story about how they found love at over 30? I turned 33 in April and my sisters in christ it is all getting so horrible out there.
The dating apps are shite, the conversations are boring as hell, and the men are either overconfident assholes who may or may not be cheating on their partners who just want a quick shag, or jobless ambitionless scrubs.
I've done the whole Female Dating Strategy thing of "leveling up" but all ot has done is made me see that 95% of men are just not worth dating.
Add to that I'm rather stumbling from crisis to crisis at the moment in my personal development and it feels like a relationship or love are further away than ever before.
You can find a happy relationship at any age, although I think it is harder once you reach your mid-30s because opportunities to meet new people are fewer and further between and we all come with more complexities - be that children, fall out from past relationships, having unrealistic expectations or being less willing to compromise.
I’d recommend taking time to focus on your personal development if you feel that is causing crisis in your life. To be successful at dating you have to be happy in your own skin, confident in your ability to sort the good from the bad, and resilient enough to deal with the
crappy behaviour that sadly often comes with the use of apps.
In terms of a positive story - I was in a 4 year relationship with someone in my 30s that I stayed in for far too long because I didn’t want to be single. When he finally tipped me over the edge I took some time to process what went wrong and what part I had to play in that, and to focus on making myself happy. When I was ready I dipped my toe back into the murky waters and found the experience very different to the last time round because to put it bluntly I was not desperate to meet someone.
My previous desperation at chasing an elusive relationship really clouded my judgement, made me put up with crap, entertain men who were not worth my time, and essentially devalued who I was as a person and made me forget what I was worth and what I brought to the table.
That’s why I’m like a broken record in this group reminding people it’s ok to take a break from dating if it becomes a chore/not enjoyable/literally toxic to your mental health.
I’ve been in a very happy relationship which is approaching the 2.5 year mark, we lived together quite quickly (courtesy of lockdown), bought a house together last year and I’m expecting our first baby at the start of October. That was all I ever wanted and I’m so thankful I have it now, even though it was many years later than I’d hoped for.
Luck played a part in bringing us together - I was about to take a break from the apps but was hungover on NYD and thought I’d fill the time. He’d just joined them again after a 6m break. We wouldn’t have met without connecting on an app so for that reason I’m grateful for them. They are a means to an end and can have positive outcomes amidst the
duck boys, cheaters, ghosters and nutters!
www.neuroscience.org.uk
my bad, edit: I totally see that in your post now 
