There’s a TikTok trend of girls bragging some lad keeps coming back to them for sex knowing he has a girlfriend like it’s some major flex. They are nothing more than an easy revolving door and need to learn to respect themselves.
Dating after lockdown #21 More red flags than Pamplona, we don’t wanna know about your boner.
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I think this goes back to what @Sandor was saying about some people needing to feel like they're winning vs the man's girlfriend / partner / wife. It's that whole gross "pick me" thing.
Can we just clarify what is being discussed here...is it women that actively seek out men knowing they are attached or is it women in general who are the 'other ' woman ?
They're not necessarily women who seek out attached men. It can also be a woman who is initially the other woman, but does not end the relationship after she finds out she is the other woman. I have seen that happen quite a few times.
I have a lot of respect for women who find out they are the other woman and then end the relationship. Situations like that are never easy.
So Tennis boy was absolutely lovely. Kind, interesting, attentive and great in bed….very generous lover iykwim!
I don’t feel the same animAlistic attraction that I did for D, but he turned out to be an abusive bleep. So maybe I need to learn how to give a good guy a go for once. I’m seeing him again on Wednesday.
Hope you guys are well and happy
I don’t feel the same animAlistic attraction that I did for D, but he turned out to be an abusive bleep. So maybe I need to learn how to give a good guy a go for once. I’m seeing him again on Wednesday.
Hope you guys are well and happy
I think, for me, it's the mindset of whoever is the "other woman". To clarify my point, I was referring to those who are in that situation and brag about it, like in @candyland_'s post. I appreciate others find themselves in this situation, rather than seeking it out, and it is incredibly difficult - whether they choose the end it or hold onto the hope of continuing the relationship.
That's what I was hoping was being discussed and not shaming of women who find themselves in the role of the 'other ' woman through no fault of their own. I've been in that place and it's a horrible, heartbreaking lonely experience.
I have been there as well @Bagpuss7 and I never meant to hurt anyone's feelings by what I said. It can be an incredibly difficult situation. The most difficult thing for me was that it wasn't just about me, but also this other person (his wife). The bastard in question didn't just break one heart, he broke two.
I’m so sorry if anyone thought I was judging people, whether they know or not - my point was it is such a complex behaviour and experience that even those who do seek it out intentionally are often working through their own trauma. I even struggled with the guilt of still being married, though separated, and beginning to date.
Excellent news!!So Tennis boy was absolutely lovely. Kind, interesting, attentive and great in bed….very generous lover iykwim!
I don’t feel the same animAlistic attraction that I did for D, but he turned out to be an abusive bleep. So maybe I need to learn how to give a good guy a go for once. I’m seeing him again on Wednesday.
Hope you guys are well and happy
I think it's very easy to paint the other woman as this vile shameless creature but, I can only speak from my own experience, when I found out I was absolutely heartbroken, ashamed..he went back to his life and I was left alone to deal with the fallout by myself. The stigma attached to us makes it something that we can't talk to friends about . I've been through it more than once . When I told my friends they immediately took the side of the wife and all the sympathy went there.( I didn't know either was married til they confessed way down the line by which time feelings were involved.)
I never told anyone about when it happened again with another guy as I knew I would be ' blamed' again. The " you must've known he was married " will stay with me always ...why must I have known ? How must I have known ? These men are bloody good liars !
And I don't think anyone was blaming anyone, this thread is full of lovely people who don't judge and who are always willing to give different opinions and points of views
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Talking of cheaters - the guy I was meant to be meeting this Friday has got a gf 
he told me he didn’t have ANY social media apart from Snapchat 
Anyway, I found his Instagram and his gf was in his bio! I’ve messaged her telling her what a lying, nasty piece of work her boyfriend is. He’s working away (but lives in Birmingham) hence how we matched and he’s been whatsapping me for a week saying how he’s single and has a flat share. When in reality his gf is at home down south 🫠
he told me he didn’t have ANY social media apart from Snapchat Anyway, I found his Instagram and his gf was in his bio! I’ve messaged her telling her what a lying, nasty piece of work her boyfriend is. He’s working away (but lives in Birmingham) hence how we matched and he’s been whatsapping me for a week saying how he’s single and has a flat share. When in reality his gf is at home down south 🫠
Why did you feel the need to message her ?Talking of cheaters - the guy I was meant to be meeting this Friday has got a gf
Anyway, I found his Instagram and his gf was in his bio! I’ve messaged her telling her what a lying, nasty piece of work her boyfriend is. He’s working away (but lives in Birmingham) hence how we matched and he’s been whatsapping me for a week saying how he’s single and has a flat share. When in reality his gf is at home down south 🫠
Not convinced messaging his gf was a great idea if I’m fully honest.Talking of cheaters - the guy I was meant to be meeting this Friday has got a gf
Anyway, I found his Instagram and his gf was in his bio! I’ve messaged her telling her what a lying, nasty piece of work her boyfriend is. He’s working away (but lives in Birmingham) hence how we matched and he’s been whatsapping me for a week saying how he’s single and has a flat share. When in reality his gf is at home down south 🫠
I messaged her because I’d want to know if my boyfriend was playing away and claiming to be single, and living with a friend when in reality he was trying to hook up with anything! Anyway she responded and thanked me for telling her and she’s split up with him. She deserves better 
There’s nothing wrong with what I’ve done - he is the one to blame being on dating apps when in a relationship and living with her!
Why shouldn’t I tell her what her so called “boyfriend“ is like.. especially since he commented on a photo of them on her Facebook a week ago saying she was his everything yet he was texting me saying I’m beautiful
There’s nothing wrong with what I’ve done - he is the one to blame being on dating apps when in a relationship and living with her!Why shouldn’t I tell her what her so called “boyfriend“ is like.. especially since he commented on a photo of them on her Facebook a week ago saying she was his everything yet he was texting me saying I’m beautiful
Personally unless I’d met up with him I’d have left it.I messaged her because I’d want to know if my boyfriend was playing away and claiming to be single, and living with a friend when in reality he was trying to hook up with anything! Anyway she responded and thanked me for telling her and she’s split up with him. She deserves better
But maybe I’m too soft
He is working away on Tinder all week being a sleeze whilst she runs a house and works hard as a teacher.. why should he get away with treating someone like that? Yeah he didn’t physically cheat on her with me but if he is messaging me asking to meet up with me, and saying he will bring a takeaway round to mine, and that he wants to take me out for a date and cuddle me, I don’t think it’s the first time he’s been playing away. I feel sorry for her having to stay with someone who doesn’t give one about her so in my eyes I’ve done her a favour. She can be single and find someone who respects her.Personally unless I’d met up with him I’d have left it.
But maybe I’m too soft
i can see both sides but i think i’m with you on this tilly. i know it doesn’t change the situation as a whole but the not meeting up creates distance for me. this is also why i don’t give people my facebook before meeting them though! the guy is still a stranger at this point so i’m not sure if i would have involved myself in their lives to that level. but i do also get where al is coming from.Personally unless I’d met up with him I’d have left it.
But maybe I’m too soft
Yeah I get you. So he just told me he didn’t have social media cos it causes arguement, but he had Snapchat so his Snapchat name had his surname on so abit of searching and waaalaaaa! His own fault
He sounds lovely
A few years ago I would of done the same as you and told the girlfriend.
I wouldn’t bother now. They always get found out eventually, and a lot of the time there is a temporary split before they get back together again. It’s wasting your own energy by involving yourself tbh. I get that he was the one involving you by him being on a dating site and messaging you, but I just think in hindsight you’d feel crap whatever the outcome. If they stay together you won’t feel great, especially if you’re painted out to be some crazy freak causing trouble (highly likely by him) and if they do split, then you’ve played a role in it, a role which inevitably wasn’t needed because he would get caught eventually. I can see why you’d think you were doing her a favour, but a lot of people would see it as you’re just scorned.
Protect number 1 is my motto (never used to be, I would do all sorts without ever considering the outcome, but you definitely live and learn)
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